Fifty years of married life is a time for reflection. I told a friend yesterday, the first 49 years are the hardest. I wish I could say it gets easier. Maybe for those less stubborn, it does, but I still knock my head against a brick wall (my husband—oops, or it that myself?)
Marriage is a divine dance—sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, sometimes you miss your steps, but when you move in harmony and rhythm it is graceful and lovely. A great Bible teacher, Derek Prince, once said, “When my wife and I agree together, I feel sorry for the devil sometimes.” God designed for two to become one so the power of a couple united in prayer could impact the world.
Why is so hard to get along with those closest to you: family, church, work? Because if we ever get it together, nothing can stop us. Christ’s high priestly prayer in John 17 is all about unity. Not unity of gifts, not unity of personality, or purpose, but the unity of God that rejoices in the differences contributing to the fulfillment of the divine plan. I’m definitely not the legs or hands—not coordinated enough for that. My husband would say I’m the mouth (only my dentist thinks I have a small mouth!). Unfortunately, all too often my mouth is not under discipline—that’s why I need your prayers!
I attribute our fifty years together to two basic beliefs:
1) Marriage is a covenant, a covenant with God and those assembled. Covenants cannot be broken, therefore, divorce is not an option. (God, ever the Redeemer, Author of new beginnings, picks up the wounded and gives hope and a future.)
2) Love is a choice, not a feeling. Likewise forgiveness. Choose love. Choose forgiveness. Feelings follow.
OakTara author, Charlotte Snead (His Brother's Wife, October, 2012) has been married to her husband, orthopedic surgeon Dr. Joseph Snead, for fifty years. They proudly boast of five adult children, an adult foster daughter, and five grandsons, ranging in age from four months to 19 years. Charlotte writes Christian fiction that puts romance in marriage, where God designed it to flourish. Formerly president of the state pro-life organization and founder of a pregnancy care ministry, she continues to serve as "mentor mom," for her church's Mothers of Preschoolers.