Bindings: Reflections on faith, life, and good books
11/15/12 at 12:48 AM 7 Comments

The Hidden Pain Behind the Right to Choose

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It’s positive.

The words scream loud.

Many voices speak at once.

“I’ll lose my family.”

 ‘I’ll lose my boyfriend.”

 “What will people think when they hear what I’ve been doing?”

 “I’m too young for this.”

“I have a choice.”

 “I’m going to take that choice.”

Returning from the walk down the hallway of choice, many voices speak at once.

 “What will people think when they hear what I’ve done?”

“I’ll lose my family.”

“I’ll lose my boyfriend.”

“I’m too young for this.”

 “I have a choice.”

“I’m going to hide my choice.”

Stepping into the closet of shameful secrets, the voices continually speak at once.

“No one can know what I’ve done?”

 “I’ll lose my family.”

“I’ll lose my boyfriend.”

“I’m too young for this.”

“I had a choice.”

“I can’t let anyone know I made that choice.”

A knock sounds on the closet door of shameful secrets. One voice speaks loud and clear.

“I know.”

“You will not lose me.”

“It doesn’t matter what others think.”

“I too had a choice.”

“I made that choice for you.”

She walks out of the closet of shameful secrets into the hands of forgiveness.

Many women live, in pain, in this closet of shameful secrets.

Why? Besides the pain, risks and physical aftermath abortion brings, a woman suffers emotionally. She participated in taking the life of her own child.

And because a woman participated in taking the life of her own child, she doesn’t get to grieve. After all, why should she mourn? It was her decision.

Writing about “choice” is not easy. It’s a subject that from many perspectives divides our nation. Many years ago I too was an advocate for “choice.” I stepped into a new world when my eyes were open to what that word really meant.

Choice is more than eliminating a problem. It is a painful procedure that ends the life of a child and changes the life of a woman.

In the story Hidden Song, I took Trudy out of the abortion clinic and in one situation after another silenced the voices that made her believe there was only one choice for her. One voice took a while to silence.

One hope is that women of all ages can find comfort or healing in knowing there are other options for you and the child you are carrying. The child isn’t the problem. The problem is learning to live with how this new life affects your own life and the people around you.

The second hope would be that through the lives of the characters, I was able to speak to those who are in some way involved in a decision with a woman considering abortion. Like I said earlier, “choice” is more than eliminating a problem. It is a very painful procedure that ends the life of a child and changes the life of a woman.

The story depicts a sampling of the many voices that scream at a woman in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy. I believe the loudest is fear. The biggest fear is losing the people in her life that she loves. There is also the fear of losing her career, and her friends, her childhood, her new life with her husband now that the kids are grown, energy, time. The list goes on.

After an abortion those fears usually remain the same because all though it’s legal and her right, what would people think of her decision. Would they leave? Now comes the fear of losing all of the things that led her to her choice.

And she should be okay afterward, but she’s not. Who will understand?

The third hope is to let those of you who made the choice of abortion know you don’t have to live in the closet of shameful secrets. There are many women who suffer in the same way you do.

There is a list a mile long of symptoms that come from abortion. And there is healing.

You don’t have to tell the whole world about it. But, there is someone waiting to talk to you about it. And He loves you. Jesus is reaching His hand out to you and there is healing in Him. You can begin to walk through the process of mourning and into the path of receiving His forgiveness and your own.

In this world we have the freedom to make choices. I would never want to be responsible for taking away a person’s right to make the right decision. But my hope and prayer for every woman is that her choice is life.

Choice doesn’t have to mean the end of two lives. Abortion has many painful ramifications and unless you’ve walked down that hallway, it isn’t easy to understand.

It is easy to hear about a young girl, or an older woman, becoming pregnant and for whatever reason, it is clear the pregnancy is an inconvenience and be happy she has the option to take care of the matter and go on with her life.

It is hard for a young girl or an older woman to go on after making that choice to live her life as she once did before. The experience, if she didn’t block it out, stays in the back of her mind. It’s something that is not talked about among friends and family.

Unless, you’ve walked down the path of abortion in one way or another, and suffered the ramifications that come from abortion, it is easy to push choosing to end the life of the child a woman is carrying.

If you are in a place where you are considering abortion or you are pushing someone to have an abortion, take time to see what abortion really is and what happens to you during the abortion procedure. There are videos and books and lots of testimonies available.

What people consider a solution to a problem becomes the door to a larger problem.

I hope Hidden Song brings you the comfort, understanding or the courage you may be in need of right now. And a hug and a glimpse at how much God loves you.

Linda J. Reinhardt, coauthor of Like a Bird Wanders, Once Upon a Christmas, Hidden Song, and Silenced Song (OakTara), has always enjoyed writing a poem, song, or story. She is active in leading small group Bible studies: HEART (Healing and Encouragement for Abortion Related Trauma), Time to Heal, Women's Bible Study, prayer group, and speaks for StoneCroft Ministries.

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