The Book Stop Blog is featuring excerpts from A New Life: Delivered From Lesbianism by Linda D. Carter.
The Beginning of My Journey
After graduating high school, the rollercoaster ride really began. I started junior college in the fall of 1980. I was enjoying the transition into young adulthood, meeting new people and enjoying my freedom. It was truly an exciting time. I met a young lady at college, at which point my life changed dramatically. I did not know when I was first introduced to her that she was a lesbian. She was very feminine and beautiful. I would never have thought she was attracted to women.
She was very nice, very intelligent and was popular with everyone. One day she invited me to ride off with her to get high and I did. Before long, my feelings for her became more intense. we began talking on the telephone and making arrangements to hang out. She did not know that I was struggling with same-sex attraction. She invited me to go out to a gay bar one night and I agreed. Even after having said yes, I was quite nervous about going.
Friday night came and off to the club we went. She was always ready to party. Every time we got together, she would have the drugs and alcohol ready to go. When we entered the club, I immediately bumped into a childhood friend. She and I had been friends since the first grade. She too was very feminine. When we were in middle and high school, she was very popular with the boys. We were both shocked to see each other. I had no clue that she was gay and she didn't know that I was either. We started screaming and hollering, because we both shared a secret that was now exposed. I ran into people from church, school and other places around the city that I did not know were gay. This would be a night to remember.
As the night went on, the woman I came with and I began dancing together, drinking, sniffing rush and smoking marijuana. At the same time, I was inwardly trying to resist giving way to the things that came with this new door having been opened in my life. I was trying so hard to adjust to the fast pace of all that now surrounded me. I saw women looking and acting like men. I saw men dressed up acting like women. I had entered a whole new world.
There were men kissing and hugging each other and women doing the same thing. I told myself that I would now begin to experience what I had been longing for, for quite some time: to be with a woman. After a night of new beginnings and formally being introduced to the world of lesbianism, I was extremely excited, yet also very afraid. I was afraid because I did not want my family to find out.
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Used by permission. All rights to this material are reserved. Material is not to be reproduced, scanned, copied, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without written permission from Linda D. Carter.