The Book Stop Blog is featuring excerpts from A New Life: Delivered From Lesbianism by Linda D. Carter.
The following school year, I did not work because my position was cut. God has such a way of doing things. When the next school year started, I'd get up each morning and take my son to school, then come home and just sit, sit, and sit, until it was time for me to pick him up in the afternoon. I was so depressed and full of grief that I was barely functioning. I even thought about killing myself.
But I thank God that He intervened and put some praying people in my life to help me through the heartache. It was so hard for me to go to church after my mother's death because I was so used to looking over and seeing her sitting close by. During this period of my life, I was still communicationg with my old friends, although I was not really my old self. Things that used to matter to me were no longer important to me. I no longer cared as much about getting into a relationship, getting drunk or high or going to club and party.
My focus was really just trying to figure out how I was going to make it without my mother. I was hurt that God would take her away from us. I thought about all the low-down, scandalous, wicked godless people who weren't trying to live right and wondered why God didn't take them instead. I was quite angry about it. Despite my anger, I didn't question God's authority. As weeks turned into months, my life started to slowly take a turn for the better.
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