I am a wife, mother, small business owner, annoyer of all things hubby, and occasionally I write. This is me, my life, my all. You get to see all my epic failures as I navigate my way to fame, though
Posted 3/25/16 at 12:22 PM | Veronica Philips
It had been 12yrs in the making, so with a smile, he finally agreed to his son's request to take him to work with him. Being an Engineer means getting up at 4am; which is no easy task for a 12yr old, but he did it like a Champ. As they ordered his 1st Right of Passage, and made their way to the station, he realized that it may just be fun, to have his son spend the day with him. 6am is shift change, so he asked his son to go sit down, while he reviewed the notes from the night before. "Can I go outside Dad and look at the river?". "Sure, but stay close. Train will be by soon". He answered. It wasn't until 1st warning signal that he remembered his son was still outside....it wasn't until the final approach....that he realized where he was....Strangers on a train....sometimes what we don't know...is heartbreaking.
As his son struggled helplessly on the tracks, the father knew that if he didn't pull the lever, 200+ people, strangers on a train, were going to perish. If he did pull the lever, his son, his only begotten son; with whom he was so well pleased, was going to die. His son had done nothing wrong, the passengers never realized they were in need of saving....He, the Engineer, held the balance of life and death in his hand.....Sigh....As the train made it's way over the bridge, he had to turn his face....they would NEVER KNOW, COULD NEVER know.....the sacrifice that had been made to save their life that day....or would they? FULL POST
Posted 2/6/16 at 2:27 PM | Veronica Philips
Back Link: Princess, the first baby, was all natural, but after her birth, I developed complications with my Fallopian Tubes. Hence, both Sweetness and Duchess are IVF babies with very different journey's.
Riddle me this, how does an innocent, perfect, 3yr old angel, smuggle a bottle of hand lotion into her crib, without her parents seeing it, at bed time? Wait, there's more! How then, does she have the presence of mind to form INTENT, and wait until her parents are settled (I was not asleep, but Merrill was, just saying) then pull out said bottle of hand lotion, and commence to spreading it all over the crib, her body, her hair, her blankets, her pillows, THEN say, “Mommy, I yucky” . Yes baby. Yes you are.
Four years ago, as I lie on my back, in that horribly uncomfortable bed, I turned my head to Merrill sitting in the corner of the room, and with tears forming in the corner of my eyes I simply said to him, “It is what it is” . The road to that bed, in that room, had been a long, painful, emotional journey, but we were done. Well, Merrill was done. I, for whatever reason, was hell bent on self-destruction, at all costs. He wasn't going to watch my journey of destruction anymore. He just wasn't, because as a man he should be able to fix me, protect me, make me stop crying, but alas, he couldn't. He was just as helpless as I was, and he didn't understand why I was so focused on destroying myself. We KNEW that the consequence of FAILURE was going to be the mind numbing, crushing blow to my Spirit. “After this, we're DONE, right?” he asked me on night through tears. ” Yes, Doll, we'll be finished. I promise". When I finally, in defeat conceded to his authority, he agreed to the injections, the hormones, and the mood swings. All that went through my head, as I lie on that bed and looked over to him. The realization of the finality of this situation, had just happened settled in, and I wept, because either way, the search was over. Forever! FULL POST
Posted 11/27/15 at 8:22 AM | Veronica Philips
Posted 11/22/15 at 4:27 PM | Veronica Philips
The view from the window this morning is beautiful and if I didn't know better, I'd swear I could just go right out there and Frolic in the Winter Wonderland. Frolic is not a word synonymous with Winter is it? Frolicking it's the ideal that I belong on a beach somewhere, drinking a virgin pina colada, in a bikini with Merrill, not talking. I think back to last Summer, and remember the sand, the sunrise, the majesty of both vacations. The crystal blue sea of Destin Beach, the storms as they rolled inward from The Gulf to land, the boardwalk, the jogs down the strip. I also remember Daytona, the Spiritual rise of the pre-dawn sun, the introverts strolling down the beach, understanding for just a moment what it must have been like for Adam to walk hand-in-hand with God. Even as I think about both vacations it brings tears to my eyes. Sigh, the Good Ole Days Weren't Always Good. FULL POST
Posted 11/13/15 at 7:59 AM | Veronica Philips
Posted 11/11/15 at 1:00 PM | Veronica Philips
I’ve grown up around Vets all my life. The man who would donate the sperm that led to my creation was a vet, and the father of my babies, all three of them, was a vet. I’ve “known” a few in between, just saying. VETS are my only way of life, so my verbiage isn’t going to be the same as those who’ve never been around an Army base…I’ve loved, kissed, drank and mated with Vets…so Ima keep it real folks, and if I offend you, well that’s just my way of thanking a Vet.
From the fresh-faced little boys, (the Baby GI’s as I call them at Ft. Wood), to the hardened battle scarred (Tops at Benning) Vet, I thank thee. If we were back in Prim, the old stomping grounds for many of the ones I KNOW today, I’d buy you a beer at the Zum Heirch, or the HardRock Cafe…maybe the Round up. If I were 17 again, and had no idea just how Effed Up the real world was with wars, rumors of wars, the battles that take place in the damaged mind, …I would hug you, maybe kiss you, and tell you God’s Speed, to be Safe. For in that day and that hour, we had no idea that the 1st Persian Gulf war was upon us did we? I really didn’t understand “yet”, that the idiots 1000 miles away were the real bad guys…..but we’ll discuss that another day. FULL POST