Daily Affirmations
9/14/15 at 10:13 AM 0 Comments

Men On Pause- I Want My Ovaries Back

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Men-On-Pause has not been kind to me. I don’t have the promised hot flashes that every other lucky woman gets, but almost everything else has been hard for me. Its unfair that a man can have babies…til death due him part…but women have to lose their precious ovaries…I mean I don’t want anymore babies…pregnancy is a young girls game and all, but why don’t men have all the bad things…I’d settle for a shriveling of the testicles….LOL the visual has me giggling…but seriously…it was ADAM, not EVE who made the Lord mad, but we got the brunt of the curse….
My armpits sweat for NO reason. SECRET my ass….I’ve tried every deorderant known to man, and I’ve even tried Merrill’s…but still…when I sit in the class room, and I can feel it running down my arms….enough is enough….THAT’S GROSS, and frankly…it’s unbecoming someone of my Celebrity. I shave with Merrill’s razor, and nothing…nothing works….someone said to put on baby powder…do you KNOW how much I sweat….that will just end up looking like I’m making pancakes under my shirt.
The miracle in all this, is that I’m still capable of controlling to whom I become angry. For example, when did my mother develop patience? Telling me the kids are fine while those little rats are running around the house disrespecting my cleanness, is behavior unbecoming that psycho. That’s not disrespect…that’s a “Who the hell are you?”. I guess for as much as Men-on-Pause has made me less plesant to be around, it has developed a certain Mother Teresa in her….nice…but not fair….my kids could do no wrong…..even the little Duchess Devil was endearing to her…I was tempted to check her for ID…this is not the woman, I was raised with.
Speaking of Hot Flashes, when am I going to get the internal body heat promised me? I go into the restroom this morning, sit on the toilet (TMI?) and scream! It’s flipping 42 degrees in there. Merrill and my mother, will whine…just whine…if you even look like you’re going to touch the heater. My mother slept with the windows open. I had to pull out the army wool blankets. Holy Cow people…..it’s okay to turn on a little heat when the gauge drops to…oh lets say…65….it’s a fight in this house just to stay warm. Merrill tells me to put on come clothes….as in sweatshirts….but I feel like if you spend most of your time trying to get me out of them, you don’t have the right to tell me to get back in them…just saying. Some days I just wish his testicles would freeze up, just so he knows just how I feel. Ok. Gotta go. This thing is way late, and I have to be at the pool later. The only good thing about the chilly weather is the snuggling; which as a digression, is pretty cool (pun)….but not with the frozen testicles…still though….I like to see him screaming when his butt touches the toilet…. better go before this gets off track. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. Be KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Monday.

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