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5/5/15 at 10:49 AM 2 Comments

The Benefits & Responsibilities of The Single Man

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Let me get right to it and just say that everything that I have learned about what it means to be a single man was wrong. I recognize that is a very bold statement, but it doesn't make it less true. As I’ve grown over the years I have realized that whether it be the images promoted via pop culture, the messaging coming from the pulpit or even the conversations that i’ve had with my own father, very little of it if any promoted a healthy and accurate outlook on life as a single man. So as I sit and write this to you, my fellow single brothers know that in more ways than one we’re the same. Many of us want the same things, have the same desires and good or bad have accrued the same habits. Contrary to popular belief what we do now matters; the lives with live, the choices we make and relationships we cultivate all will have an impact for years and in some cases generations to come. Being single isn’t about anything else except for the purpose that we’ve devoted ourselves to, the foundations that we are working to lay and the lives that we have chosen to build.

In our current culture we’ve been conditioned to believe that our identities revolve around our career paths. Many of us measure success in the amount of money we make, or the educational prowess that we have come to possess. All of these things are great to aspire to, however we must aspire knowing that our identities do not rest in accomplishments, titles and they aren't tied to the size of our bank accounts. Life isn’t about what you do for income. Life is about the lasting impact that your work has on the world around you. It’s how we were programed beginning within garden of eden. Man was not created to be an employee solely but rather the employer of his gifts, talents and abilities. Singleness can no longer be an excuse for double mindedness. Each of us were created on purpose, for a purpose and we must operate within the guise of why were created if we are to ever live in our true identities.

We mustn’t give into the temptation to shrink from responsibility. Whether we pick up the mantle or not we are responsible for our word, and for our consistent actions which develop our habits. We must understand that he majority of what we see is not an accurate portrayal of the ideal life for the single man. Single-hood is not a time for “conquest” and women aren’t here to be chosen and un-chosen on a whim. We have a corporate command to love and respect our women. Instead many have mistakenly allowed our women to be grouped in with the rest of the spoils that we have gathered along our journey of “accomplishment.” It’s on this journey that we've gotten lost. We can no longer put off faithfulness, diligence and commitment. The future is not ours to mortgage and how we live our lives in the present matters a great deal. Being a good husband starts now and many of us will be incapable of loving and treasuring our wives the way the bible speaks of because we don’t live that way currently. But we can. It's a challenge but it is what we're called to. What we were created for. So in that sense it isn't a challenge at all but rather a calling.

Should you find yourself single, know that you are in a privileged position. You have the unhindered ability to manifest the truth that has been planted within your heart. It isn’t a time to chase and indulge in endless options, as if there were any. Options aren’t eternal, eventually you have to choose. Now is the time for an intense devotion, to your GOD, your work, and to your future.

We must be present. One step further we must be active and we must contribute to the world we live in. Leaving no stone unturned, no error of thinking unchecked, we must be relentless in making sure that we are men. If we do this and only if we do this will we see our communities, our lives and our relationships flourish as they were meant to.

By Kevin S. Carr

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