Disciple of Thecla
2/8/12 at 10:30 AM 40 Comments

Human Dignity: the Dignity of Marriage

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The California Court of Appeals ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional. A news article stated that now gays and lesbians could enjoy the same human dignities as everyone else. The ruling has a variety of implications and social outcomes. When did marriage become necessary for people to have constitutional rights and human dignity? Are the people who choose not to marry or who have not yet found the "right one" - are they somehow second-class citizens who lack human dignity?

While other bloggers lament the loss of Christian values and the definition of marriage (I agree), I also make the claim that gay marriage is harmful for the gays and lesbians as well as general society.  Gays and lesbians clamored for marriage because they sought human dignity, yet the false belief that a husband or wife can magically bestow human dignity or individual worth is worshipping the creature rather than the Creator.  People deserve human dignity just for being human, regardless of marital status. Feelings of individual worth should come from within that individual. The false belief that marriage can bestow human dignity means that marriage has become about making people feel good about themselves or about validating their sense of self-worth. This is not the purpose behind marriage. These faulty motivations actually lead to the destruction of many marriages. 

But the people in this country who will not marry or who have not yet married - those people never feel second-class. America never regards them as second-class. The singles do not question their own human dignity or self-worth. The single men and women have the same rights and human dignity as everyone else. The United States guarantees them equal rights under the law. Marriage is not necessary to serve as a citizen in this nation. People who need others to affirm their self-worth and human dignity are ultimately insecure. Furthermore, they will ultimately find disappointment because humans are flawed and will disappoint others. When they become disappointed in the other person, they become even more depressed and insecure about their self-worth then they felt previously.

When marriage becomes about making people feel good about themselves and validating their self-worth, it leads to incredible selfishness and abuses within the marriage. Such misguided motivations lay behind the incredibly high divorce rate. Gay marriage will not solve the high divorce rate when they also tend to divorce.  What advantage is there for society?  If you want to understand why gay marriage is wrong, take a look at these other marriages that had the same basis - making oneself feel good and validating self-worth.

An advocate of gay marriage, Kim Kardashian requested a divorce from Kris Humphries after seventy-two days of marriage because she lost that blissful, fairytale ending. Kardashian married Humprhies for her need to feel good about herself. Rather than working as an equal partner, she expected him to continually focus upon her and validate her sense of self-worth. I hope that when Kris Humphries does remarry, then he will marry someone more grounded in reality than a reality TV star.

Democrat Jonathon Edwards cheated on his wife during her illness with terminal breast cancer. Dealing with his wife's illness gave him no good feelings. A woman who needs medical attention and emotional support cannot dedicate her time to making her husband feel good about himself or validating his sense of self-worth.

Newt Gingrich repeatedly cheated on his wife and then married the other woman because a new romance always makes the people involved feel wonderful and extra-special. Rihanna rejoined Chris Brown because the more I read about her, the more I saw a lonely woman. Lonely people suffer from low self-esteem and do not feel like worthwhile individuals.

Now, some of you might protest at the specific examples I described, but what I described has the same selfish basis as the motivations behind gay marriage. Marriage is already a damaged institution, but spreading the damage can never repair the damage. It merely creates a larger area of damage.

Gays want to marry because they want human dignity, but this is something marriage can never give them. Marriage does not exist to make people feel good about themselves or to validate their sense of self-worth because such motivations are incredibly selfish. A man or woman always worried about the personal self-worth and own self-esteem cannot dedicate the time to working as a team. A successful, healthy marriage needs a man and woman who are already self-confident and who are already certain of their individual worth. Because they are free from worry and self-doubt, they can focus upon each other and upon raising healthy, well-adjusted children.

So, what is the purpose of marriage?

When God created Adam and Eve, He also created marriage and told them to be "fruitful and multiply." (Genesis 1:27-28) God created sex for the purpose of procreation. Secular science verifies that the sperm fertilizes the egg. The first marriage was heterosexual and monogamous. Only heterosexuals can procreate through sex. And this is how new generations start. Children are conceived, are born, and are nurtured. Children need a parental environment in which they can be conceived, born, and nurtured. God wants us to return to our original condition. When Jesus began to change the divorce law, the Pharisees protested, and Jesus replied "In the beginning, it was not so." (Mathew 19:8)

Heterosexual sex remains the primary method of producing children. A lifelong marriage is the responsible method of raising children. Sex within a heterosexual marriage is the only way people can have sex responsibly. Sex outside of marriage is an irresponsible misuse of the natural function. Now, some might argue about contraceptives and condoms, but sex for the sake of sex outside of marriage leads to objectification and dehumanization. Gay sex serves no purpose and no function, so it becomes sex just for the sake of sex.

Now, some might argue that heterosexuals have also messed up marriage. I agree. I believe fewer heterosexuals should marry. Staying single is perfectly fine (Mathew 19:11-12), and there are no marriages in Heaven (Mathew 22:29-30). Furthermore, single people have all the same citizen rights as married people.

The purpose of marriage is about conceiving and raising children. A certain news article stated that banning gay marriage did not further responsible procreation, but legalizing gay marriage cannot further responsible procreation because two people of the same gender cannot procreate. A sperm cannot fertilize another sperm, and an egg cannot inseminate another egg. The news article basically stated that because one group lacks responsibility, another group deserves to lack responsibility. The end result is a society and culture more immature and devoid of responsibility than before. Gay marriage can never fix any of the problems in society, so advocating gay marriage with a focus upon society's problems is like trying to change a flat tire by cleaning the kitchen.

Now, there is the claim that banning gay marriage is discrimination against gays, but this claim has no basis or grounds to support it. Denying food, shelter, clothing, employment would be discrimination because those are necessary for survival. Denying the vote, jury duty, or political office would be discrimination because those are citizen's rights. Marriage is not necessary for personal survival. Marriage is not necessary to serve as a citizen. Marriage is for procreation and raising children.

Now, there is the argument: why shouldn't two people who love each other marry? I have my answer here. When people marry for the sake of their emotions, they start a marriage founded upon subjective and changeable criteria. Marriage cannot survive when the criteria changes. The Bible commands people to love everyone. Love - or at least respect - should be present in the marriage, but it should not be the goal of marriage. When a man and woman marry for love, they actually place their own emotions on a more important level than the spouse and children.

Gays and lesbians cheer for their victory because now they can marry for the sake of their emotions, a subjective and changeable criteria.  But because the criteria is changeable and subjective, they divorce just as readily.  What victory have they actually won when they wish to abdicate their own marriages that they fought to obtain?  The first Same-Sex couple has divorced.  Couples move to Texas and other states where their marital rights are invalid.  There, they try to divorce, but why bother when they choose to relocate to where they no longer have marital rights?  More recently, gays and lesbians look to Washington D.C for help in obtaining divorces.  What victory have they obtained?

The argument "why shouldn't two people who love each other marry?" is groundless because the criteria is faulty. The Bible commands people to love everyone, but while marriages should have love, it should never be the focus of the relationship. And a heterosexual marriage is the most functional in establishing new generations.  There is nothing wrong for two people of the same gender to love each other. Love is a very beautiful, wonderful feeling that holds communities together. Love and sex are two completely different things. Love holds communities together and establishes fellowship. Sex is an act designed for procreation. There is nothing wrong for two people of the same gender to love each other, but two people of the same gender should never have sex.

Because love and sex are two completely different things, when two homosexuals have sex, lust is their only motivation. Heterosexual sex serves a function. Sex outside of marriage is a lustful misuse of that function, but the function tends to occur nonetheless. There is no function in gay sex - only lust. And I talk about the sex, not love. Love and sex are very different.

And staying single and celibate is perfectly okay. There is this false belief that sex will lead to personal fulfillment. In reality, seeking sex for personal fulfillment leads people to objectify themselves and others - leads people to devalue their own soul, ignore their genuine spiritual worth and individuality. Staying single and celibate is fine, and I say this to both heterosexuals and homosexuals.  Celibacy is a way to experience love on a truly spiritual level because celibacy never involves physical urges.

Finally... did you ever think I would get to this point?

One reason why homosexuals seek marriage is because they want their sex acts to have validation. I think they seek validation because they have an inferiority complex. One reason why they claim discrimination is because they identify so strongly with their sexual desires that they interpret any disagreement over their sex acts to be an opposition to who they are as individuals. Heterosexuals also have this problem. When people allow their sexual desires to define who they are, then they allow their sexual desires to control them. Then, they objectify themselves and each other as sex things. But objectification is dehumanization because the person ceases to be a person and becomes a thing for possession. Objectification is the motivation behind sexting and false feminism in which women perform sexually for men's pleasure. Objectification is the reason we have Lady Gaga singing "I wanna be your hooker." Objectification is the motivation behind pornography and sex trafficking. God has never defined anyone according to their sexual desires. The gays and lesbians claim they seek human dignity, but by defining themselves according to their sexual desires, they plant the seeds for their own dehumanization and destruction.

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