Disciple of Thecla
8/14/12 at 10:35 AM 32 Comments

Kiss in: the Difference between Love and Sexual Sin

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Disclaimer: this contains one picture and some descriptions that might disturb some readers. If contemporary culture makes you squeamish, then don't read. The pictures were taken from Pajamas Media, who in turn received the pictures from Ringo.


Again, with the Chick Fil-A kiss-in protests, love and sex have been confused as indistinguishable. In reality, love and sex are complete opposites. Although people who have sex should love or respect each other, love should never be synonymous with sex. People do not need sex to love each other. People do not even need marriage to love each other. There are many ways to display love for one another, and none involve sex. However, the groups who support kiss-ins do not understand the difference between love and sex. Moreover, they do not understand love as presented in the scripture!

“I felt like it was an important opportunity to stand on behalf of love and inclusion and gay couples,” [Sarah Halverson] said. “Love is love, and God has given us love to be shared.”

Love is not sex. One is not a synonym for the other. God is love, and Jesus commands us to love. Remember that this commandment of love comes from a man who led a celibate life and who was miraculously conceived through celibate means.

This commandment of love first appeared in the Old Testament, and Jesus repeated it to his followers. (Luke 10:27) Fortunately, we do not need miracles to obey this commandment. In the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus described a man who obeyed this commandment without use of miracles (Luke 10:30-36).

Love is helping the sick. Most of Jesus's miracles were miracles of healing. In chapter eight of Mathew, Jesus healed a leper, a servant, Peter's mother-in-law, and a multitude of others. At the beginning of chapter nine, Jesus healed a paralytic and cured blindness. This is love, and there was nothing sexual about it.

Love is in humility and the absence of pride. Jesus said:

"Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven. Whoever receives one little child in My name receives Me." (Mathew 18:3-5)

Love is in repentance and forgiveness for sins, which Jesus described in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) And there was nothing sexual about the characters in that story.

Love is in self-sacrifice "Greater love has no one than this - than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Genuine love is not synonymous with sex. Genuine love can and does exist in the absence of sex. Love in found within charity, healing, humility, patience, self-sacrifice. All these qualities and loving behaviors come from within the spiritual heart of a person. Unfortunately, many Christians who have the scripture confuse the two, and even non-Christians have them confused.

“There are Christians like us at Fairview that think that God gave every human being divine love,” [Sarah Halverson] said.

Love as described through the works and teachings of Jesus, who led a celibate life and was conceived miraculously through celibate means, has nothing to do with sex and never involves sex at all. Divine love is in the sacrifice of Jesus on the crucifix to atone for our sins: "By this we know love, because [Jesus] laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." (1 John 3:16)

"In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:9-10)

To refer to divine love as sex is heretical. In that ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, He displayed all the qualities that genuinely describes love during His earthly ministry - healing, charity, and forgiveness. Yes, divine love that God gave us is for all who repent of their sins and turn to Jesus. Divine love never involved sex.

Most Americans unfortunately believe in a type of magic sex in which the best sex informs them magically of who their true love is. To these Americans, marriage is the result of magic sex. This reminds me of the chastity belt and its key in the movie "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." Although not meant to be a piece of satire, it parodies a real belief in today's culture. The key to one's heart has been replaced with the key to one's panties. When most people talk about love, they actually talk about sex.

The first social movement that confused the notion of love and sex was the hippie movement in the 1960s and the 1970s. Changes in beliefs and values had increased to the point where the changes received their own movement to declare their existence. The young people of the 60s and 70s announced, "we don't need marriage to love each other!" By love, they meant sex. So, they separated sex from the covenant of marriage, and the separation has widened ever since.

This movement represented a larger cultural trend that shattered the sanctity of marriage. And this slippery slope that this has shoved downward has led to degrading humanity and to increased selfishness. At first, the generation of the 1960s - the generation of our parents and grandparents - did care about human souls; to them, sex was about freedom from society and old cultural values. In the 1980s with the rise of Cosmopolitan, etc., it became sex for the sake of sex with decreasing regard to the human soul; people existed for each other to have sex. Then, the in the 2000s to modern day, sex exists to gratify oneself physically, and the human soul might as well not exist at all.

This slippery slope is why we have Lady Gaga singing "I wanna be your hooker," why we have false feminists so intent on obtaining birth control yet who ignore sex trafficking which is the enslavement of women for sex. This is why we have Twilight that considers domestic violence romantic and why we have 50 Shades of Grey that romanticizes sexual torture.

High school dances now resemble public orgies. I attended one such dance as a high schooler, and there were mainly threesomes and who knows how many into one mess with their bodies rubbing close upon each other. Some of the teachers watched with amusement and interest; some had their backs turned, "kids will be kids." And at least one teacher who worked only to pay ex-wife's alimony, as he admitted, ogled a lesbian couple with his eyes. All of these teachers grew up in the 1960s, which broke the covenant of marriage and removed the concept of sexual morality.

As for me, there was a young man - a complete stranger - stalking me with the intent of putting his hands all over me. The teachers refused to do anything to help me, so I tired of running and hid in the bathroom and waited for my mom to take me home.

And yet, people continue to believe in the concept of magic sex and that great sex will determine the future husband or wife.

Arleen Spenceley conducted a series of surveys over people from our generation about their views and beliefs on sex.

“A comfortable sexual routine should be established before you promise to spend the rest of your life with someone,” wrote a young adult

One said sex with some people is neither initially nor easily gratifying and “I don’t want to be married to someone like that.”

Another said, “I want to know the sex I’m going to get is good enough to keep me loyal.”

The best picture illustration over how confused love and sex has become in our society is this picture. Two men are kissing, and they both wear T-shirts with the Obama logo that say "Legalize Love." A third who appears to be a neo-hippie joins into the kissing. The main focus of the picture is that all three are kissing with the indication that they want sex. With both the shirts and the focus, they illustrate that they believe sex equals love. The neo-hippie contradicts the notion that sex/love should remain within the covenant of monogamous marriage - a notion that most gays and lesbians claim to support. The Neo-hippie and the compliant men proves the picture to be a result of the hippie movement that broke the covenant of marriage and that made sex promiscuous and irresponsible.

It is important to note that the hippie movement began with heterosexuals who broke the covenant of sex within marriage. Therefore, it is more important for Christians and church leaders to tackle sexual sin as a whole and to preach against all sexual sin rather than to focus on any specific sin or group.

Gay sex is a sin, and it does bring a tragic slippery slope. Many homosexuals claim and some actually do value humanity. Just as the hippies claimed and believed. However, we have seen the end result of the heterosexual slippery slope, and it is damaging. Gay sex has its own slippery slope and it will be dangerous. Most do not see this coming and do not this downward spiral to occur. Neither did the hippie generation see what they were spiraling us downward into. Before any Christian preaches against gay sex, first remember the heterosexual slippery slope and then preach against that in addition.

The "Legalize Love" with the Obama logo reveals even more problems within the picture. For one thing, the neo-hippie contradicts the claim that they want marriage entirely for love. Gay sex emerged out of the moment that confused love and sex. From their T-shirts, they believe that people should marry whoever they are sexually attracted to. Thus, to them and to the people surveyed, marriage is dependent upon sexual attraction. If there is no sex, then there is no love. Sex must be promiscuous to determine the true love. The human soul and spiritual compatibility is irrelevant. However, sex no longer exists for the covenant of marriage in our culture. Often, I had gotten into an argument with gay men who ranted in their defense of gay marriage, "Get government out of the bedroom!" and "The government has no right to say what two people do in the privacy of their bedroom."

Good grief!

What generation were they born into?

Sex was kicked out of marriage a long time before I was born. So, those rants are irrelevant to the gay marriage debate because they have no basis and no relevance in contemporary culture. Instead, they rant as though sex has always stayed within the marital covenant, a covenant that broke prior to the birth of my generation.

Furthermore, the "Legalize Love" is problematic because it implies that the government has control and authority over our emotions, our behaviors, and our actions. The slogan both indicates and champions a government with spiritual dictatorship over the people. I say this because love is spiritual. There are many ways in which people can display love for one another, and none involve sex

Men and women who have sex should love or at least respect each other, but love should never be analogous or synonymous with sex. The concept of love must be separate from the concept of sex. Therefore, people can tell each other, "I love you" without any physical implications. The hippies had it wrong, and the people in that picture have it even more wrong. People have never needed marriage to love each other, and people have never needed sex to love each other.

"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer, distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality." (Romans 12:10-13)

Peter wrote: "Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart." (1 Peter 1:22) and "all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous" (1 Peter 3:8)

"And this is His commandment: that we believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another." (1 John 3:23)

"Love suffers long and is kind: love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:3-8)

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