This Saturday is Birthmother’s Day, a day set aside specifically to honor and celebrate those courageous moms who made the difficult and self-sacrificing choice to place their child for adoption.
Birthmother’s Day was created more than 20 years ago by a group of birthmothers in Seattle who realized that they didn’t need to be alone and that there was tremendous value in sharing their stories with others. In honor of birthmothers everywhere and to educate those who may have never heard of Birthmother’s Day, I wanted to share with you one birthmother’s amazing story.
The following, written by Karla Tucker, contains numerous praise for Bethany. Please know that my point in sharing this letter is not to highlight such praise, but to demonstrate how birthmothers everywhere need support, especially as Mother’s Day approaches. I hope you are as moved by her story as I was. If you know a birthmother, or someone who does, please consider sharing this Birthmother’s day ecard to show your appreciation for her.
As written by Karla Tucker:
Oftentimes in life, we look back on choices we’ve made and wonder if we should’ve done something differently. My life seems to have way too much of those types of choices. There’s one choice, however, that I have full confidence in having made, and that’s choosing Bethany Christian Services as the agency to help me place my child for adoption.
When I found myself faced with a tremendously difficult situation, I panicked for all of about two seconds before I dismissed the thought of abortion from my mind. I knew that was not the option for me. What I didn’t know then was that adoption would be the choice. I had always wanted to adopt a child and bring him or her into my home; not the other way around. The months leading up to the final decision to place for adoption were like riding a horrible roller coaster; with ups and downs, twists and turns and gut-wrenching loop-the-loops. Then came Bethany.
My local crisis pregnancy center gave me the names of two adoption agencies, one of which was Bethany. Bethany had my heart from the beginning; I don’t even remember the other agency’s name.
When I talked with Cindy (Bethany counselor) for the first time over the phone, she gave me such a sense of peace. She didn’t judge me or talk down to me, like I felt I deserved. She comforted and encouraged me. She prayed with me. She cared.
Before our first meeting, I picked out five or six couples from the Bethany website that I really liked. I thought I wanted this baby to be some distance away. I guess I was thinking, “out of sight, out of mind.” But Cindy knew better. In her great discernment, she brought two additional portfolios. She didn’t press me to look at them, but she did make it clear in her confidently gentle way that she believed it would be wise for me to just think about the possibility of a local couple. I agreed to look at them, even though I had already made up my mind about a couple in Pennsylvania that I wanted to investigate further.
When I saw the local couple’s portfolio, I knew that was the family I wanted to raise this baby. I wish I had the time here to share with you how God has been weaving our hearts together since we met for the first time a couple years ago. Before meeting the local couple, I was undecided about what level of openness would be best for me in an adoption situation. When the three of us met, with Cindy present, it was like we’d known each other for years. I left that meeting thanking God for bringing all of us together and for Bethany.
Cindy was with me every step of the way. She was more than just the lady who found a couple to take my baby. To put it as simply as I can: she was a God-send. I’d like to share just one of the gems of wisdom she passed along to me through all of this. As the time came closer for the baby to be born, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend any time with him in the hospital or even see him. Cindy said to me, “How can you say ‘Goodbye’ if you never say ‘Hello’?” That may not sound like a big deal to some, but to me, that one question was the final click of the key in the lock of letting this baby go.
The wonderful thing is that because of Bethany and Cindy matching me up so perfectly with the local couple, I didn’t have to say, “Goodbye,” only, “Until next time, little guy.” I get to hear the funny stories about him and see pictures. I get to see him in action (and lots of it) when we visit. I marvel at this wonderful miracle. I can’t imagine the world without him. This is why I’ve made it my goal to encourage women facing an unplanned pregnancy to consider adoption. This is why I tell everyone I can about Bethany Christian Services. Thank you.