The Problem with "Bonnie" and Me

I've recently learned how to use my new GPS unit. But it will never make me a saint.

When I started working with my GPS unit, I tried all of the computerized voices and arbitrarily selected "Bonnie." I checked off several other preferences, keyed in our home address, and loaded several addresses I knew I'd need in coming days. But using a GPS is a little trickier than that.

Almost predictably I ran into a number of problems. I had driven across two state lines before I discovered that I didn't want to follow the yellow line "Bonnie" was showing me. Instead, I needed to follow the dark red line. No wonder I was getting frustrated whenever the two lines split apart with the yellow line heading west while "Bonnie" was telling me to head east.

An even worse problem was translating what I heard "Bonnie" telling me. She likes to say things like "keep left and then keep left" only to repeat herself five seconds later. To say the least, how she phrases things is quite different from what I would say in the same situation. And her constant repetition unnerves me. Of course, heading from Atlanta to Birmingham, "Bonnie" sat there not saying a word for a couple of hours, only to fall asleep with a worn-out battery right when I needed her the most.

Plugging in the power cord fixed everything, I thought, until "Bonnie" started getting too chatty when I came to some road construction, discovered the exit was closed, and realized I needed to take a different route. "Bonnie" kept protesting non-stop so I finally turned her off to get her to shut up.

The fact is when "Bonnie" is chatting away I can get pretty sharp with her, especially when she pulls stunts like telling me to take an exit in ½ mile and the Atlanta freeway system has two such exits side by side at that spot. There I am yelling, "Which one do I take, Bonnie?" and then smarting off by saying, "Don't tell me I just took the wrong exit, Bonnie. You're the one who didn't tell me whether to take I-65 North instead of I-65 South. Thanks a lot for nothing!"

One evening I spent 3½ hours on the road at night driving through a huge storm that sparked more than 19,800 lightning strikes and was spinning off deadly tornadoes, including one that killed 8 people. There I was driving in driving rain hour after hour, only to have "Bonnie" take me to the wrong hotel. I had a few choice snide remarks for her, to say the least.

I never got into the habit of swearing. But swear words, of course, aren't the only words that should make us wince.

We all have had hurtful words spoken to us that we can still remember years later...words no one should ever hear. Yet in anger or spite someone said them to us. What words come to your mind? They may be words that changed how you felt about yourself, about God, about trusting others.

Passages like James 3:5-12 couldn't be more clear-cut. Such words should never come out of our mouths. But put me in a car and I can say them to an inanimate object like my GPS unit...or to my wife...or to my children. There's no way I can justify such outbursts or snide remarks. They're never from God. They're always from the Devil.

When I flew home from Atlanta, I already had made plans to take my wife, Renée, out for lunch. Toward the end of a wonderful brunch at a nice restaurant on the Columbia River, I made three promises to Renée. The third promise was to show how much I cherish her by changing the way I speak to her when I'm frustrated, no matter what's frustrating me. I promised to own the problem 100 percent.

There's no way I want to transfer my frustration onto her by my words, tone of voice, attitudes, or actions. Better to be silent than to say anything that could hurt her.

After all: "The tongue is a fire and also a world of injustice. It is a part of the body, but it defiles the whole body, sets the entire created world ablaze, and is itself set ablaze by hell" (African Bible Commentary, page 1513).

The word "hell" in James 3:5b isn't just a swear word. It's a translation of the Greek word Gehenna. It's the only use of the word outside the words of Jesus in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. The word Gehenna speaks not only of hell, but of the Devil, whom Jesus said is a liar, a thief, a murderer, and a destroyer.

Unlike other writers, James says that the tongue is a fire. Is he right? Doesn't he mean the tongue is like a fire? No, the second part of verse 5 is clear. The tongue is a fire. It's either lit by the Holy Spirit filling us to overflowing with words of grace and mercy and love, or it's lit by the Devil and sparks a forest fire.

On the news already this year we've seen the devastating effects of carelessness in California, arson in Australia, and a terrible plane crash that took 50 lives. But have you ever seen the devastating effects of careless, angry, critical, or slanderous words you have said?

Then again, has anyone else ever said words that deeply hurt you? Has anyone ever said words that inflicted serious damage to your soul? As quickly as possible, put out the fire. Don't let it burn within you any longer. And certainly don't spread it further by anything you might say.

Instead, what should we do? James doesn't tell us in this passage, but the rest of the Scriptures do.

First, we need to understand that our words--whether flippant or angry--all come from the same place. So we need to guard our heart and watch for any signs of fire.

Second, we need to understand that it's not enough to bite our tongue until it bleeds. Instead, we need to confess our sins to God--and, as He prompts us--we need to confess them to the people we have hurt.

Third, beyond confession, we need to ask God's Holy Spirit to flood us with living water. Such living water will heal our hearts and tongues. Such water also will make our tongue fireproof.

Fourth, we need to understand it's not enough to be filled with the Holy Spirit for an hour or two, or a day or two. We desperately need to ask for God's washing, cleansing, and flooding with living water every day of our lives.

Has the Lord spoken to your heart? I hope so. Now, with His help, let's take care of some unfinished business.