Freedom Begins Here: My Chains are Gone

I never thought in a million years that porn would ever be an issue in my life or my marriage. I've been married for over 11 years, and it wasn't until about two years ago that I found porn on our family computer. I was devastated. I thought everything in my marriage was fine.

This woman's story represents one of many sent to FreedomBeginsHere.org from people whose lives have been affected by pornography. She's not alone. The good news is people like her husband who struggle with sexual sin, can find freedom. Yet, many Christian people say, "God has never answered my prayer to take away my lust." Sound familiar? Those who struggle with finding freedom in Christ may still need to answer one important question.

In John Chapter 5, there is a story of a healing pool called Bethesda. For years people would come to this pool to be healed. If they could be the first one in the pool when the waters were stirred, they would be healed of their sickness. The Bible says that the blind, lame, and paralyzed all came, including a man who had been paralyzed for 38 years. What a frustrating situation! This man has been trying to get into this pool for almost 40 years! So, what question would Jesus have for this level of frustration? Jesus asks him, "Do you want to get well?"

What! Where does that come from? Of course he wanted to get well. Why else would he have been there for 38 years? Many of the men I work with have been struggling for 10, 20, 30, 40, even 50 years. They know what it's like to be looking for healing. Jesus' question to them is the same, "Do you want to get well?" They say, "Yes, but I've been asking God for all those years to heal me, to take away temptation, to free me from the struggle."

What we find is that people who still struggle with sexual sin are often "double minded." (James 1:8) There is a part of them that wants to get well and a part of them that doesn't. They actually feel sorry for themselves. What does the paralyzed man in our story say? "Sir, I have no one to help me get into the pool and when I go down someone gets in my way." Sounds like a bit of a victim mentality, right? He was discouraged and angry. He'd also grown accustomed to being paralyzed. He knew the role. People who struggle with sexual sin are also discouraged. They know the role and how to play it well.

Many people who struggle with sexual sin are also angry. They want God to do all the work. They are willing to be made well if God "magically" transforms them. It's like they need brain surgery, as they cry - "Change me God so I don't ever get tempted again." They become angry with God and feel that if God doesn't heal them in the way they want, why bother?

Finally, people are double minded because a part of them is selfish. They enjoy the "high" of sex and don't want to give it up. It has become a friend. Pornographic images and fantasies never say "no" and are always willing to satisfy if only for a few minutes.

One sexual addict put it this way: "I invited Christ into my house which has many rooms. Jesus, you can go into every room...except for this one. That's where I have my computer and my secret world." When Jesus asks, "Do we want to get well?" it's our selfish control that He wants us to completely surrender.

Surrender all of your life to Christ. Not just when it's convenient and doesn't interfere with the way you try to control your "fun." It means becoming selfless and sacrificial. A selfish person believes that he or she deserves to participate. A selfless person believes that his or her first priority is to serve God and others.

The Freedom Begins Here DVD toolkits help those struggling with pornography to break free from the chains of sexual sin. When a person is totally willing to get well they will do anything to make it happen. They know they need God. They are humble and broken. They can learn the tools of honesty and accountability. That person will know how to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." (II Corinthians 10:5)

Dr. Mark Laaser
www.freedombeginshere.org