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As a professional life coach and a man who formerly struggled with a pornography addiction for many years, I’m a big believer in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, and other addiction recovery programs. I find that the 12 Steps are just as appropriate to working a program of recovery from pornography addiction as they are to recovery from drug and alcohol addictions.
Although the “Anonymous” programs are not Christian programs or even religious programs, I believe the 12 Steps are biblically sound. I tend to believe that God inspired them as a sort of “stealth repentance program” to reach those of his children who wouldn’t normally think of their problem in terms of sin, repentance and reconciliation with God.
To me, the primary emphasis of the 12 Steps can be summarized in three areas:
- Effecting a spiritual awakening in which God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves, as we humbly submit our self-will and our heart to his will (Steps 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 11).
- Overcoming pride and resistance to change through rigorously honest self-examination (Steps 1, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 10)
- Making amends and repairing the harmful consequences of our self-destructive behaviors – especially the harm we’ve done to others (Steps 5, 8, 9, 10 and 12).
To me, the most significant principal of the 12 Steps is the principal of spiritual surrender. (In scripture, this is sometimes described as yielding ourselves to God or submitting ourselves to God.)
We don’t attack pornography addiction with more will power. Instead, we prayerfully and consciously “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God” (Step 3). We ask him to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves – not to make us more powerful against lust but to make us more submissive to God’s will, to align our hearts with his. The focus is not on our ability to overcome temptation but our willingness to let God take over our thoughts, our hearts, and our very bodies.
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