Print Blog Article

Sex With Zero Commitment

Tue, Sep. 29, 2015 Posted: 07:29 PM


From tender-hearted love to Tinder-partnered sex. That’s what it’s like today. Just get a Tinder phone app and you can find a willing partner—there are 50 million singles on Tinder, and 100 million singles on other hook-up type smart phone apps.

But make no mistake the partners you find on Tinder aren’t the 19th Century courtship partners that could lead to marriage. Nor are they like the 20th Century dating partners that could lead to a “committed relationship”.

No, welcome to the online, 21st Century smart phone app hook-up partner. Sex with zero commitment. In a sound-byte generation, with texting as the preferred mode of communication, the ideal of building a real relationship as a precursor to sex doesn’t make any sense. Why bother?

As one woman on Tinder explains, “There is no dating. There’s no relationships…[Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt—well, not on the surface.”

No one gets hurt on the surface? Instead the hurt goes straight to the heart for many women. Hoping to achieve a sense of worth through being appreciated by a man, women give sex to get love. Love seldom follows. And these cast-off, hook-up women are referred to as Tinderellas—a used sexual conquest, nothing more.

In research conducted at University of Texas, David Buss explored the app culture of finding mates. Buss explains that when men are sexually gratified, they aren’t seeing a particular woman as a priority in his life.

Another researcher at the U of T, Mark Regnerus laments that the “market price” for sexual relationships has dropped. At one time for a man to get sex he needed to marry a woman, support her, and the children that resulted.

No longer. Now the market price for sex is so low, that it only requires a cheap app.

When we sow seeds of random sex, what do we expect to reap? Hook-ups reap hang-ups. While we wait for the harvest of this latest adventure into hedonism, Christians can offer an alternative.

Christian married couples need to be an example to young people. While it's not easy to change a culture, Christ is in the business of changing hearts—and that’s where we can change singles from being hooked on Tinder to being hooked on Jesus.

A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life—life in all its fullness. John 10:10

Karen Farris