Posted 5/4/15 at 10:52 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Every Monday I like to put up a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it. Today a reader asks how she can respect a husband she still doesn’t trust:
I found out about my husband of 5 years had been addicted to porn and caught him by innocently searching through his photos on his phone while nursing my son in bed one morning. I regularly asked to use his phone so my looking through it was nothing unusual at all. The difference this time is he forgot to hide his stuff apparently this time.
We have had MANY hard conversations since then. He’s been getting help, hasn’t looked at it since July (when I caught him) and has been genuinely turning his life around and back to the Lord.
Here’s my issue: I still don’t trust him yet. I’ve forgiven him but trusting him again is something that takes a lot of work and time. We aren’t at that point yet. Is it possible to respect him without trust? FULL POST
Posted 5/4/15 at 10:39 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
There are plenty of unhealthy ways to date, so I’ve compiled 10 healthy dating practices that I believe cut to the core of what it means to date with intentionality and maturity.
1. Date with intention.
This is going to be for the best of both parties involved. Dating isn’t a game, and the last thing you want to do is get in a relationship with someone when your intentions are anything but pure. If you’re just looking for fun, I’d recommend you be open and honest about your intentions with anyone you meet or connect with. It’s only fair to them and their emotions.
You just never know who you’re going to meet. I’d recommend your first date be in a public place, in front of lots of people and I’d even recommend you let your friends know where you will be in case something were to happen. You never know who the person you’ve chatted with on the phone might act in person, and the last thing you want to happen is end up in a private place with someone whose motives are anything but respectful. FULL POST
Posted 5/4/15 at 10:31 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Dottie came to me for counsel.
I was her pastor and she was battling depression, she said, and had dealt with it for years.
I listened and realized something vital.
My wife and Dottie had a lot in common.
So, after the visit had gone on for a half-hour, I said, “Dottie, there is someone I want you to know. I’d like you and my wife to talk. Now, Margaret is not a trained therapist, although she’s a far better counselor than I. But she knows what you are going through because she’s battled depression, too.”
She assured me she would be willing to meet with her.
And, this being in the years before my wife developed several debilitating infirmities, Margaret was glad to invite Dottie over for coffee. And that started a lifelong friendship.
That was over 20 years ago. Dottie and her husband retired and live in another state now, but I learned later that a few days before God called Margaret to Heaven in January of this year, she and Dottie had chatted on the phone for over an hour. FULL POST
Posted 5/1/15 at 11:54 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I had scrambled eggs for breakfast yesterday morning and did not enjoy them at all. Having survived cancer of the mouth and then radiation for the head and neck area some years ago, my present reality is simply that some foods are to be eaten for their nutritional value, not for their taste.
But lying in bed this morning early and reflecting on having to determine my own menu for the rest of my days and the necessity of learning to cook a few things since the Lord took my wife to Heaven recently, it occurred to me that I should learn how to make scrambled eggs more interesting.
And I will.
Now, I’m not entirely opposed to a little boredom now and then. It can actually assist in the creative process. But for the most part I hate it. Of all the people in the world who should despise boredom in their personal lives, preachers and pastors should lead the parade.
Boring sermons is certainly a matter of widespread concern, true, but I’m not talking about that. FULL POST
Posted 4/30/15 at 2:47 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
“We do not know how to pray as we should….” (Romans 8:26)
My wife and I used to have this running discussion over the philosophy that says, “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing….(what?)” She would say “It’s worth doing well,” and I said, “Poorly.” (I would remind her of our friend Annie who says, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing!” lol)
Case in point: Prayer.
Prayer is worth doing, regardless how poorly we do it.
And we do it poorly, make no mistake about that. “We do not know how to pray as we should.’
The Apostle Paul said that.
My friend, if Paul didn’t know how to pray as he should, it’s a lead-pipe cinch you and I don’t.
But that’s all right. God knows this and has no problem with it. In fact, He did something about it: He gave us a Divine Intercessor.
“…the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words….” (8:26) FULL POST
Posted 4/29/15 at 11:53 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Recently a reader from New Zealand sent me this question:
We have only been married just over a year and really loving it. I’ve noticed in some of your recent posts you’ve been covering when she doesn’t wanna and when he doesn’t wanna. This isn’t really applicable to us thanks to a great start to marriage (through God’s grace). But it’s making me wonder if all couples go through a season/period of distance with one another? If it is inevitable I’d really like some pointers from how to approach it from our end, from the beginning. How to spot it, when to have those conversations, when to get help, any prevention strategies etc. Because I’d like to continue having an awesome marriage and although I know we will (and have) face ups and downs, I’d like to have the best go at it that we possibly can. FULL POST
Posted 4/29/15 at 10:36 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
“Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
“And all the other prisoners were listening to them” (Acts 16:25).
You’ve been put on the spot.
Someone is challenging you, daring you, cursing you, or slandering you. You squirm. Nothing about this is pleasant. You try to think of an appropriate response.
Before you act, I have a suggestion.
There is one huge factor you should always bear in mind: Your response to your challenger is less for them than for the spectators who surround the two of you, observing this little conflict. They’re watching you. They want to see how you react, if you can take it, if you will respond in the flesh or show yourself to be a genuine Christian.
Unfair, you say? Maybe so, in some ways. But in another, this creates an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to do something everlasting. FULL POST
Posted 4/28/15 at 10:24 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I have not been this nervous to write a blog post in a long time. Where do I start? How do I begin? I guess at the beginning.
The past 3 years I have been writing to you about relationships, and how waiting for the right one was the best decision you could make. Waiting on God’s timing, and waiting for peace, and waiting for real love, and waiting for marriage. There are so many things to wait for, and in our microwave generation, it’s just so hard. I’ve been telling you God’s ways are best, not knowing when or if or how my own story would work out.
About three weeks ago, I married Michael. (No, I don’t have pictures yet; I’m just as anxious as you are to see them tho!!:) I am 29 years old. I waited. We waited. Not as long as maybe some of you, and longer than maybe some of you, but we waited nonetheless, and I shared my journey with you while I did. I trusted that after all that I have poured out from my heart to you, that one day, I would be able to say, “God is right” and “It is worth it.” Well, today is that day, and I am so excited to write this post about waiting, and why we did. FULL POST
Posted 4/28/15 at 10:08 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
It’s actually several facets of the same thing: I’m speaking for God.
Imagine such a thing.
Lives hang in the balance.
People are making decisions about God based on something I say.
People are making choices about their eternal destiny based on something I say.
Is this frightening or what?
What if I get it wrong?
What if I misrepresent God?
What if I leave out an important aspect, something that changes everything?
What if people draw nigh unto me and love me and think that’s the same as loving God?
What if I stupidly think because they love me that all is well with their soul and so ease up once I find they like me?
What if I manipulate those who trust in me into doing things for me, instead of for God?
What if I forget my place, that I’m only a messenger, and begin to believe this is all about me?
God help me.
God help all pastors. Not all, we begrudgingly admit, are called of God or are spiritually mature or know their Bibles. Not all, we sadly confess, love the Lord nor His people nor His gospel. FULL POST
Posted 4/27/15 at 10:38 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Everyday someone asks me can I post this or post that for them for them to make money or gain notariety. No, I can not.
Everyday someone asks can I donate to their dream, hobby, passion, fantasy. No, I can not.
Actually, I've given thousands of dollars to people's dreams, hobbies, and passions. It hasn't returned to me void because God is constantly blessing me, but I realized something in the process.
I give from my heart and expect nothing in return only when God puts it on my heart to do so. I know where my blessings come from.
The internet and cable television has made us lazy. I just saw a post that said "people will watch EMPIRE for an hour every week but won't spend 20 minutes learning how to build one." That's the truth for 99.9% of the people watching empire.
I was online yesterday and saw a GoFundMe page for a vacation trip to Miami.
We have become lazy. The bug is contagious and you have to make sure you don't catch it. Laziness is a curse. Laziness will come back to haunt you. You have to be very careful what you ask for and very careful what you accept. The borrower becomes servant to the lender ~Prov 22.7. Get up and work. If you want it, work for it. If you can't afford it, work for it. If you have to work for years, keep working! If you ask for something, be willing to give something in return. Nothing is free in life so don't expect anything for free. FULL POST