Posted 11/25/15 at 10:17 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
It was some forty years ago, and I was flying home from somewhere, the last leg of the trip being from Memphis to Columbus MS where I pastored.
It was a dark and stormy night.
And the planes assigned to our Golden Triangle Airport by Southern Airways were the ancient Martin 404s. Prop jets, maybe they are called.
We bounced all over the sky that night. Lightning flashed around us, rain pelted our little plane, and thunder crashed.
You’ve heard of white-knucklers; this was the mother of them all.
The next day in the supermarket, a woman whom I did not know introduced herself. “My husband was on that awful flight from Memphis last night.”
Oh yes. That was unforgettable, I said.
“But he told me every time he began to panic, he looked up and saw the pastor a few rows ahead of him, and you seemed to be fine. And that gave him confidence.”
I told her I was glad, but I was frightened out of my wits.
Why is it, we wonder, that some people think if a preacher or a nun or priest is on board, God is somehow going to take extra care of an endangered flight? As though He loved them more than the others. “God is no respect of persons,” Scripture says somewhere. FULL POST
Posted 11/25/15 at 9:17 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Lauren and Bob were deeply in debt. Lauren kept seeing the bills come in the mail, and Bob would grab them–but cheques were never written.
“I’m not sleeping well, and I’m worried we’re going to lose the house. But if I bring it up he’ll accuse me of not trusting him.”
Lauren knew something was wrong, but she was afraid that dealing with it would wreck their relationship.
Sometimes in every marriage there’s something that needs to be addressed. Maybe it’s something as serious as debt, but maybe it’s simply that you’re afraid he doesn’t find you attractive, and it’s making you insecure so you pull away. Or maybe you’re afraid your sex life is getting boring, but you’re afraid of his answer if you ask.
When an issue is blocking our intimacy, it needs to be dealt with. In Leslie Vernick’s bookHow to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, she shares the story of Beth, who found evidence that her husband Roger was unfaithful. Beth said nothing. Leslie writes, FULL POST
Posted 11/24/15 at 10:27 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
November and December are both months filled with the spirit of giving. Here are 20 Bible verses to chew on during this wonderful season. We give not to get anything in return, but because Jesus gave his life for us.
Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.
Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.
The righteous gives and does not hold back.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.
There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. FULL POST
Posted 11/24/15 at 10:23 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I like to post a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it! But first, something quick:
I spent this weekend updating my blog! I changed the design, and made it much easier to browse past posts! Just click on the menus above and you’ll find all the categories of the blogs and snippets of posts. There are still some bugs I’m working out (especially on the mobile end), but I’m getting there! I hope you like it!
Now, on with the question of the day: When I do my Girl Talk, my one night event at churches where I talk about marriage and sex, I invariably get a variation of this question:
My husband and I like to watch porn together. If we’re both consenting, and he’s not watching it in secret, is it okay? FULL POST
Posted 11/24/15 at 10:20 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
This month I was in Raeford, North Carolina, at RockFish Church, with a great crowd of about 200 women. And boy did they have a lot of questions about sex! I got through as many as I could, but there were about 10 left over at the end of the night that I didn’t have time for.
The interesting thing about these Q&A sessions is that the same questions about sex pop up again and again. So we all really wonder the same things. So I thought that today, for Top 10 Tuesday, I’d answer those 10 leftover questions by sending you all to some of the posts I’ve written on the different topics. So here we go!
It’s not only right, it’s good! We have freedom to enjoy sex and God created it and WANTS us to! It’s not like one position is necessarily holier than another, and in fact, many women find that positions OTHER than the missionary position are more likely to help them reach orgasm (especially being on top, since you can control the angle a little bit better). FULL POST
Posted 11/4/15 at 10:17 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
God, too big for us to completely understand but personal enough to have a relationship with. That’s part of the beauty of knowing him.
The nation, the earth, the universe itself. All of these things are just a small facet of God’s divine dominion. And while we spend our lives on this tiny ball of dirt known as Earth, I cannot begin to imagine the galaxies and far away places we have yet to discover, all of which were created by the hands of God—beautiful, magnificent places.
I’ve never met anyone who knew everything there is to know about God. I’ve never met anyone who could fully comprehend the majesty of God’s being. And I’ve never met anyone who could truly wrap their brains around complexity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is too big for us to fully know, and to me that is exhilarating to say the least. How mundane would life be if our faith was put in the hands of someone we could know everything about.
I don’t know why God chooses to heal some, but let the course of life define others. I don’t know why God allows bad things to happen to good people, or why bad people are allowed to thrive amidst their terrible deeds and actions. I don’t know why God does or doesn’t do a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust him and place my life in his control. FULL POST
Posted 11/2/15 at 1:06 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Spiritual dehydration can creep into our lives in many ways, but learning to combat this infection can be the difference between a healthy soul and a broken one.
Don’t compare your inch to someone else’s mile. Everyone is on their own spiritual journey, and the reality is that none of us are going to be on the exact same page or chapter. We’re all going through different things, experiencing God in different ways, and trying to wrestle through different questions. Do away with comparison, as it will do nothing but get you down and make you feel inferior compared to the accomplishments of others. Comparison is a game you will never win at.
It’s not fair to compare you own life with that of someone else. All of us were uniquely made for a different purpose and to experience different things. I’ll be honest in admitting that I constantly find myself comparing the accomplishments of others to my own. It’s not healthy, nor does it help my current spiritual journey either. Human nature yearns for the approval of others, and much of that is found within the weaving of comparison. We compare in hopes of being better, in turn making us feel better about ourselves. Regardless of what side we’re on, comparison is never healthy nor does it help progress our spiritual well-being. Do away with comparison. FULL POST
Posted 11/2/15 at 1:00 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
When Rudy Giuliani became mayor of New York, the city was reeling from crime. It was a scary place to live.
And what he decided to do gave people apoplexy. Instead of trying to understand criminals, or get to the root of why people choose crime, he adopted James Q. Wilson’s Broken Windows theory. And I think this may apply to our marriages, too.
Wilson said that instead of worrying about the big crimes, you should start by worrying about the little ones: the broken windows, the graffiti, the muggings. Focus on petty things that give people the sense that “this is not a safe place”. The street looks dismal. People take no pride in things. Once one building has a broken window, people stop taking care of the buildings on either side. And that gives criminals the impression: you can operate here with impunity, because no one will do anything to you. Nobody cares.
So Giuliani started erasing all the graffiti, had people arrested for it, and arrested all those who jumped the turnstiles at the subways. And lo and behold, murders dropped. Burglaries dropped. Violent crime dropped. FULL POST
Posted 10/15/15 at 1:09 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
It’s true. I’m proud to be a Christian, represent Jesus Christ and proclaim The Gospel that has forever transposed my life. But while I’m all “for” Christianity and the progression of The Gospel, I can honestly say that the way some Christians act breaks my heart. It’s something that keeps me up at night. This is my struggle.
I’m not really sure what it derives from. Maybe it’s the “God hates fags”picket signs being somehow justified by interpretation of biblical text, or the extreme judgment that comes from most self-proclaimed cross bearers when someone in the public eye fails. Regardless, I have a really hard time liking some Christians. I sometimes wonder, “God, why do you allow these people to represent you?”
I often wonder why pastors choose to bash the failures of public figures and use them as examples for sermon illustrations, or why Christian bloggers think it’s okay to spew personalized hatred towards someone for sake of clicks. Or better yet, why some churches find themselves bashing one another all because, “they’re just not like us.” I understand we’re all entitled to an opinion, but that doesn’t mean our opinions have to be shared with cruelty and rashness. It can all be done in love and sincerity. And while I understand that not all Christians have chosen to act this way, there is a great percentage of them that do. It’s disheartening. It’s a tiny flame that spreads like a wildfire. FULL POST
Posted 10/13/15 at 11:16 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
A mom wrote in and asked:
I have an 3 kids under 8. We have had conversations about aspects of the relationship between men and women, how babies come out of the women’s body (not yet talked about how they get in there in the first place though) and other things like that. But we have not yet talked about the actual act of sex. I’ve heard reports that you need to have this conversation with your kids between the ages of 7-9, after that age they will have most likely gotten the information from friends or stumbling across it online.
So my question is, how do you start this conversation? I am very comfortable talking about sex with adults, but my 8 year old son is a whole other area! So I thought i’d see if you had any thoughts or advice on how you may have done this with your kids. Thanks so much!