Posted 4/1/15 at 9:52 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Well, it’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! And today we’re going to tackle the tough problem of pornography in marriage.
This week I’ve had a mini-series on what to do when you discover your husband is using porn. I’ve been interviewing Vicki Tiede, author of When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography. We looked at what to do when you discover your husband’s watching porn, and how to deal with your husband’s porn use. Today I thought I’d sum up what we’ve discussed and add some of my own thoughts. FULL POST
Posted 4/1/15 at 9:46 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Let me drop a truth bomb on you, “Made In His Image” comes in many different shapes and styles. What does this mean? It means you don’t have to look like everyone else who calls themselves a Christian. God made you unique, so embrace the heck out of it.
There is no such thing as the “ideal” outer image of a Christ-follower. What does this mean for you and I? It means we should embrace the uniqueness God gave each and every one of us. We’re not all alike, so let’s stop trying to fit everyone into each other’s molds.
-Suits and ties aren’t your style? Awesome. Don’t wear them!
-Your nose is pierced and you have tattoos? Rad. Rep your uniqueness proudly.
-You wear ripped jeans and have a hipsteresque haircut? Wonderful. Embrace it boldly.
-Your favorite shoes are penny-loafers and you have a huge selection of Ralph Lauren Polos? Sweet! Be you.
-You’re not a huge fan of “main-stream” Christian music? That’s fine. Don’t listen to it! FULL POST
Posted 3/31/15 at 11:49 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
“We being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” (Romans 12:5).
Has the Lord ever spoken to you through your own words?
One morning recently, I posted the following on Facebook: Pastors, do not ever say that your people do not like change. There are no 1947 Packards on your church parking lot. Even your seniors drive late-model cars, own flat-screen televisions, and are on the computer. They do not mind change, so long as it’s not abrupt, not all at once, and not forced on them. Pastor, respect your people and they may surprise you.
Where did that last sentence come from, I wondered as it flew off my fingers through the keyboard onto the screen.
That was a new thought.
“Pastors, respect your people.”
There is–let us reluctantly admit–a lot of disrespect of church members among the clergy. Congregations feel it and rarely voice it. Colleagues in the ministry see it among their peers and rarely mention it. But it’s there. FULL POST
Posted 3/30/15 at 12:47 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I define my fairytale. It doesn't mean that we are happy every second of the day. It doesn't mean that we don't have disagreements. It doesn't mean that it's easy. It doesn't mean that we've never made mistakes.
But it does mean that we are giving our best. It does mean that we are selfless. It does mean that we are happy. It does mean that we don't argue. It does mean that we don't cheat. It does mean that we are teammates and not opponents.
I call it a fairytale because to be in a completely blissful relationship for over the last 5 years is almost unheard of today. I call it a perfect relationship because of what I'm comparing it to. As a professional relationship coach I've come to realize that yelling, fussing, and fighting is normal in most relationships today. If it's not that, then it's cheating. If it's not that, then it's ulterior motives like money, position, etc. A lot of relationships today are shams. Too many people are faking it. We stopped faking about 6 years ago and we started growing. FULL POST
Posted 3/30/15 at 10:09 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Every Monday I like to post a reader question and take a stab at answering it. Today we’re talking mother-in-law issues:
What do you do when your mother-in-law interferes? She will call the house and if I don’t answer she will call my husband at work and bug him about me not answering…She calls every evening around 7 when my husband is getting home. Most times I don’t even get a hello from him before she calls. Some nights she will keep him on the phone for up to an hour…Almost every Sunday she bugs us about going to church with them and she gets mad if we don’t go to their church. Every time we plan on going out something comes up (usually because of his mom) and we don’t. We have only been out once in the last year for our anniversary. I feel like I never see my husband and when I do his mom is involved. It is very stressful and it is causing a wedge between us. Please help! FULL POST
Posted 3/30/15 at 9:54 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I’m not perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I’m pretty sure I’m my own worst enemy. This is me being real, honest and transparent about who I am in light of all the incredible things God is currently doing in my life. I think more pastors and authors should do the same.
It’s easy to look at someone through the window of their tweets, photos and blog posts only to think, “Man, they’ve got it all together” when in fact they don’t. That’s the weird thing about social media…people see the highlight reel of someone’s life without the nitty-gritty reality of the behind-the-scenes.
I’m human, just like you and the other 7 billion people in this world. I’m good at a lot of things, but I also have a ton of aspects in my life I’m still working on. For instance… FULL POST
Posted 3/27/15 at 11:54 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
In January I challenged everybody to the Ultimate Marriage Reading Challenge–read one book a month all year, on a set subject. This month’s was on setting boundaries in your marriage. For those in marriages characterized by mutual respect, where this wasn’t an issue, I suggested the awesome book Ask It by Andy Stanley. Then I had several other suggestions for those in different situations, culminating with The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick. And today I’d like to share 10 truths about those marriages, using many of Leslie’s words from the book. FULL POST
Posted 3/27/15 at 10:04 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Community is a big part of the life we live. And while some of us may have a bigger sense of community than others, the importance of having friends to confide in, spend time with and celebrate alongside are pinnacle to living the community-based life Jesus has called us to.
Finding new friends is easy, but finding great friends can be quite tough. True friendships should last a lifetime, and I believe these 10 qualities are a good start when searching for friends you can truly do life with.
Flakes are lame. Nobody likes to spend time with someone who constantly backs out of plans and shows up late. You’ll find yourself getting more and more frustrated with this person each and every time it happens. Mind you, not everyone is perfect, but you want someone in your life who is reliable and can be counted on.
Don’t set yourself for friendship failure by befriending someone you cannot trust. Friendships with trust issues will always be a burden, especially if they are not handled carefully. FULL POST
Posted 3/26/15 at 2:36 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
I have a friend named Bruce who is hilarious himself. He’s always posting on Facebook. I featured him in a column a while ago on dating your spouse. My daughter used to baby-sit for him.
And everyone in our small town knows him because his Facebook posts are often hilarious. So when I saw this last week, I couldn’t stop laughing.
His 6-year-old daughter apparently figured out how to purchase things from iTunes on his account, and she purchased something called “the doll house”. This was AFTER she’d already been reprimanded for purchasing credits for Pet Store. So she presented her mother with this:
“I cant controle my Body.”
There’s wisdom in that 6-year-old!
I love it. Kids have so little impulse control, and as parents one of the things we need to teach them is to own up when they do something wrong. My friends made her make restitution and write this apology note, and she obviously “got” it. FULL POST
Posted 3/26/15 at 1:23 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices
Today I want to share with you an email I received from wonderful, godly woman I know. In the past, this woman has faced terrible things, but this is not a story of victimization. It is a story of victory. Praise God that our heavenly Father does not leave us even in our darkest times. I am so happy she chose to share her heart with us on this topic, and I hope it encourages you in that whatever has happened in the past, God can and will give the victory today and in the future. Stop running from your past. There is always so much hope in any life yielded to our Savior.
Dear Full time Girl,
Quite some time ago, I replied to one of your blog posts. I believe it was a response to a post a young woman had made regarding having worth, finding worth and feeling worthy in the eyes of her boyfriend, because she had been sexually violated at some point in her past.
I offered to share my story at that time, but have put off the telling of it. This has proven to be more of a challenge to me than I had anticipated. First, because the details and memories are painful. I have spent many years working to gain the victory over my thinking regarding my past. Second, because giving my story tempts me to ask the question: WHY? Why me? Why does God allow bad things happen to Good people, and innocent children? FULL POST