Guest Views

CP Blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of The Christian Post. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author(s).

Posted 12/8/15 at 11:09 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Do I Have To Live with a Sexless Marriage?

How are you supposed to live in a sexless marriage?

I like to post a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it. Today’s is from a woman whose husband has given up on sex altogether.

My husband has gone to the doctor and tells me it’s because of his age that he is having “erectile dysfunction” (he is only 41)…when I bring things up he gets very mad and says that I am obsessed with sex. It makes me feel so undesired. Our last conversation he said that he was sick of hearing me. Granted, I do bring it up every few months because I think maybe we can try. If he tried it would mean the world to me. I feel like since he doesn’t try, not even with kissing, that maybe I should just give up. I am so frustrated, I have been so patient and understanding not to overstep boundaries, but really!? I didn’t get married to live with a roommate, he is my husband and I love him but I feel alone. I wish he was willing to talk about things, to maybe seek counselling, but that is not the case. He is so focused on work and money and not us. FULL POST

Posted 12/4/15 at 1:26 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices

If Christianity Bores You, Then You Haven’t Met Jesus

I used to think Christianity was boring, dull and hands-down a waste of time. I was never a fan of going to Church or getting dropped off at yet another youth group event when I was younger. It all seemed to be pointless and irrelevant to my current stage of life.I felt this way for the first 19 years of my life, that is until I actually experienced Jesus for who he really was and not who I assumed him to be. I dropped my pride and finally let God in. Only then was my life transformed. This didn’t happen overnight, but with persistence and humility my relationship with God truly started to grow.

For a lot of people, the idea of Christianity doesn’t bring much excitement to the table. The thought of reading a bible, attending a church service or even praying makes certain individuals cringe. And let’s not forget to mention those who claim to be believers, yet still think the wondrous life of a Christ follower is still not what it’s cracked up to be. For the two groups I have previously mentioned, I beg to differ. FULL POST

Posted 12/4/15 at 1:20 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Why Do We Think We Can Change Bad Boys?

Sheila’s Marriage Moment: Let’s Stop Trying to Change Bad Boys!

Every Friday I like to write a quick, 400-word inspirational marriage thought. Here’s this week’s on our propensity to want to change our husbands–to change bad boys.

The other night I was home alone, bored, so I checked Netflix to see if there were any good movies.

It told me I’d give The Rewrite with Hugh Grant and Marisa Tomei four stars, so I clicked play.

Fifteen minutes later I turned it off.

Basically, Hugh Grant’s character was a pig. He used women, he was shallow and selfish, and he had no redeeming virtues. But you know the way the story was going: he’d meet Marisa Tomei, and she’d be so amazing and so what-he’s-always-needed-but-never-found and he would change.

Why is that the plot of most love stories?

Why are we so drawn to the idea that our love will be enough to make a bad boy good?

God’s love is enough to make a bad boy good, but a woman’s love isn’t. And too many of us get married thinking that we can “fix” our husbands.
Christian romance novels are awfully guilty of spreading that, too. FULL POST

Posted 12/3/15 at 9:01 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

What Will You Choose in the Moment? Love or Bitterness

So often in our everyday lives we face choices: am I going to be loving, or am I going to let myself get angry?

Am I going to reach out, or am I going to just care about what I’m feeling?

It’s the choice between love and bitterness.

Today Mike Mason, author of the awesome book the Mystery of Marriage, joins us to share about how to choose love!

Before having a shower, I always run a few inches of warm water in the tub, and for 10-15 minutes I lie there and soak. When I say soak, I don’t just mean my body but my spirit. Letting go of all worries and distracting thoughts, I sink into my heart and simply rest in the presence of God. To put it another way, I take this time for contemplative prayer. FULL POST

Posted 12/3/15 at 8:56 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Can Sex Be Hot and Holy at the Same Time?

Can sex be hot and holy at the same time?

Every Monday I like to post a reader question and take a stab at answering it, and this week’s is all about our attitudes towards sex–and what we think God thinks about sex.

I received this really fascinating question earlier this year:

I need your help to correct my thinking patterns! I have been doing your 31 Days book and have been reaping benefits already. I am trying very hard to embrace my sexuality and learn that it is good to receive pleasure from my husband. But then, God brought some scripture to mind that seems to…not contradict…but I don’t understand how to embrace my sexuality, while still be this meek and quiet woman of God. FULL POST

Posted 11/30/15 at 11:08 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

How Do We Manage Expectations About Sex?

Expectations about sex can seriously affect our enjoyment of marriage.

It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you all can link up at the bottom with your own marriage posts.

And today I want to share a personal story and then some things I’ve seen on the web that have got me thinking. I’m hoping that we can all have a good discussion about this, because I’m not completely sure what the answer is.

So let me tell you my story for a bit of background.

Before we got married I picked up a Christian book on sex that was written by a guy. It doesn’t matter which one it was; but let’s just say that it made me a nervous wreck. It was all about how to have an orgasm your first time out, and it explained in detail what he was to do (rub this part 213 times, for instance) and what she was to do (basically nothing, just let him touch you in every way imaginable when it’s all brand new), and I just about died. FULL POST

Posted 11/25/15 at 10:17 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

You're a Pastor, You're Not Like Us

It was some forty years ago, and I was flying home from somewhere, the last leg of the trip being from Memphis to Columbus MS where I pastored.

It was a dark and stormy night.

And the planes assigned to our Golden Triangle Airport by Southern Airways were the ancient Martin 404s. Prop jets, maybe they are called.

We bounced all over the sky that night. Lightning flashed around us, rain pelted our little plane, and thunder crashed.

You’ve heard of white-knucklers; this was the mother of them all.

The next day in the supermarket, a woman whom I did not know introduced herself. “My husband was on that awful flight from Memphis last night.”

Oh yes. That was unforgettable, I said.

“But he told me every time he began to panic, he looked up and saw the pastor a few rows ahead of him, and you seemed to be fine. And that gave him confidence.”

I told her I was glad, but I was frightened out of my wits.

Why is it, we wonder, that some people think if a preacher or a nun or priest is on board, God is somehow going to take extra care of an endangered flight? As though He loved them more than the others. “God is no respect of persons,” Scripture says somewhere. FULL POST

Posted 11/25/15 at 9:17 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Don’t Be Scared To Say The Things That Need To Be Said

Lauren and Bob were deeply in debt. Lauren kept seeing the bills come in the mail, and Bob would grab them–but cheques were never written.

“I’m not sleeping well, and I’m worried we’re going to lose the house. But if I bring it up he’ll accuse me of not trusting him.”

Lauren knew something was wrong, but she was afraid that dealing with it would wreck their relationship.

Sometimes in every marriage there’s something that needs to be addressed. Maybe it’s something as serious as debt, but maybe it’s simply that you’re afraid he doesn’t find you attractive, and it’s making you insecure so you pull away. Or maybe you’re afraid your sex life is getting boring, but you’re afraid of his answer if you ask.

When an issue is blocking our intimacy, it needs to be dealt with. In Leslie Vernick’s bookHow to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, she shares the story of Beth, who found evidence that her husband Roger was unfaithful. Beth said nothing. Leslie writes, FULL POST

Posted 11/24/15 at 10:27 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

20 Bible Verses on Giving

November and December are both months filled with the spirit of giving. Here are 20 Bible verses to chew on during this wonderful season. We give not to get anything in return, but because Jesus gave his life for us.

1. Deuteronomy 15:10

Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.

2. Deuteronomy 16:17

Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.

3. Proverbs 21:26

The righteous gives and does not hold back.

4. Proverbs 3:27

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

5. Proverbs 11:24-25

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. FULL POST

Posted 11/24/15 at 10:23 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Q&A: Is Watching Porn Together Okay if We Both Agree?

Is watching porn together as a couple okay if you’re both consenting adults?

I like to post a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it! But first, something quick:

I spent this weekend updating my blog! I changed the design, and made it much easier to browse past posts! Just click on the menus above and you’ll find all the categories of the blogs and snippets of posts. There are still some bugs I’m working out (especially on the mobile end), but I’m getting there! I hope you like it!

Now, on with the question of the day: When I do my Girl Talk, my one night event at churches where I talk about marriage and sex, I invariably get a variation of this question:

My husband and I like to watch porn together. If we’re both consenting, and he’s not watching it in secret, is it okay? FULL POST

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