The Basketball Wives reality star said she is learning to become a servant of God through her life classes with inspirational speaker and spiritualist Iyanla Vanzant. The class aired on the OWN Network Saturday and Sunday.
In the sessions Vanzant reviewed Lozada’s violent tendencies, choice in men and her childhood hurts to figure out who Lozada is really is.
Vanzant asked, “Without the husband, without the cars, the money, the show, the bank accounts … When you stripe down in the shower morning and no one else is around, who are you?”
After hesitating, Lozada responded, “I am Evelyn Lozada, someone that is becoming a servant of God.” She later refined her answer to “I am Evelyn Lozada and I’m here to serve.”
Lozada and her Basketball Wives friends gained a lot of controversy for their violent behaviors. Though there were many fighters on the show, Lozada was especially hot-headed and picked fights with a number of her co-stars.
Lozada infamously verbally abused and jumped across a table to “kill” co-star Jennifer Williams. In a separate incident, Lozada threw two wine bottles at co-star Kenya Bell while out at a restaurant.
Lozada told Vanzant that her bad behavior is the result of her defensive attitude.
“I’m actually always on defense mode [because] I don’t trust anybody. I just … I always … So many things have happened in my life … just feeling stabbed in the back, taken advantage of,” she confessed.
Lozada has since expressed remorse for her behavior. In an open letter to her pre-adolescent self, she described watching her stepdaughter imitating her on the BBW show and feeling “real shame.”
“In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching the imprint of encouragement felt by Star (Jones), Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you … encouraging you… willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you,” she wrote.
Vanzant told The Yolanda Adams Morning Show that Lozada was the one who asked to appear on her show, Iyanla Fix My Life.
In their counseling sessions Lozada confided in Vanzant that she is always on the defensive because she is afraid of losing it all.
“Very often people will use anger to cover their fear,” Vanzant said.
Lozada did lose it all when, 38 days after marrying professional football player Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, he head-butted her leaving her bloodied, broken and living in a hotel. Lozada said the event occurred when she confronted him about a possible affair. She reported that she is not talking with Johnson and has filed for divorce.
Vanzant worked with Lozada three weeks before the abusive incident. In a follow-up interview after the abuse, Vanzant urged Lozada to accept responsibility for ignoring Johnson’s true nature and believing that violence is an acceptable response to problems.
Vanzant urged Lozada to pray for Johnson and engage in a “daily spiritual practice.”