Joy on the Narrow Road
10/17/14 at 02:33 AM 0 Comments

God Is A Jealous God- Trust Me, I Know!

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When you invite Jesus into your heart, you better make sure there is room for Him. If not or if you build up monuments to others instead of Him, be warned, He will come in to destroy the temple of idols. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

"But rather, you are to tear down their altars and smash their sacred pillars and cut down their Asherim-- for you shall not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God--" Exodus 34:14,15

That is exactly what He did in my heart yesterday and it was not fun. The day after I posted the blog about God flipping a switch in me and sending me home to be a blessing to my family, He also decided to clean house in my heart. I didn't realize how big of a monument I had built to one certain musician but when it started tumbling and crashing I sure felt it's weight. I admit that I fought God on this one because I had prayed from the moment I heard him sing until this very moment. I have been asking God why for 9 months, why was I drawn to him, why did it matter, why did I care? All I knew was that his singing made me happy.

When this musician made a decision to unfollow me on Twitter my world began crashing. God knew though that I would try to make the best out of it. He knew that I would just sweep it up and carry on as usual. So He allowed a heckler to ridicule me and publicly I might add. At that point not only was he being ripped from my heart but people were laughing at me and making a joke of it to him. The pain became so intense I could hardly breathe. In this moment I reached out for a particular friend and instead of comfort and support was further wounded. This was unbelievable to me. God was destroying everything I had been clinging to for comfort and fun for nine months. (Yes, I hear how ridiculous that sounds now, but yesterday it only hurt.) There was nothing for me to do but weep and I did for 18 hours. Like I said, it was a huge monument. In my pain I decided to try to help God tear it down. I deleted every tweet, every picture, and unfollowed everyone in his circle that was connected to me, including him. This is what fueled my tears for so many hours. Letting go of what I loved so deeply for so many months.

Finally, around 8pm last night, God sent a messenger and the advice she gave me had the power to instantly stop the pain. I am not kidding. I knew without a doubt it was from God. As soon as I heard it, another switch was flipped and a smile crossed my face, my brain changed direction, and all of the pain was gone. My perspective was changed instantly. I even laughed and told my kids that I was finally happy. They had watched me cry all day, before school, after school, before work, after work... it was pathetic and I was embarrassed. But I am also very real and that is why I am sharing this with you.

I went to bed happy and woke up this morning amazed that my perspective was completely changed. After work, I came home and went to the other places I had collected souvenirs of this idol. I deleted everything I could find: Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, you name it, I deleted it. I unsubscribed, cleared favorites, likes and history everywhere. I didn't even cry as rows and rows of pictures were deleted off of my computer, picture editing websites, and yes... even my phone. God started and I finished. Everything is cleaned up so much so that I don't even have any pictures from the summer concerts I went to. Oh well. The Internet is full of pictures if I ever want to see them. My pictures and tweets are still out there wherever they were re-tweeted or shared. I could only clean up my own pages.

I have peace about this. I realize people probably do not go to such extremes but this fits right up my alley as I truly love to delete things. I am a professional when it comes to throwing things out. (I know which ones of you are nodding your head right now and I know who fears me being left alone in their house. I am smiling at you as I write this.) For me, however there has never been fear in getting rid of things.

The Lord has good things in store for me. I am sure of it. When I posted my other blog to The Christian Post today, I saw that someone left me a comment and said that it was awesome and thanked me for writing it. That right there was such an encouragement to me and motivated me to write this one (twice! the first one is lost in cyberspace.)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I am ready Lord, here I am, thy faithful servant, use me.

One last thing I want to tell you. I never really got an answer to all of my whys about the last nine months but I did learn things about myself during that time. I did learn to have fun, I learned to hear music differently through gifted musicians and many other things I don't need to share. I don't regret a minute of it even though I am terribly embarrassed to have built up such a idol in my heart. I am more blessed that God loves me enough to tear it down.

This is how we know God loves us, while we were yet sinners, Christ laid down His life for us. Romans 5:8

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

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