Joy on the Narrow Road
10/16/14 at 01:07 PM 0 Comments

He Flipped A Switch In Me And Sent Me On A New Mission

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Living "in Christ" takes practice or discipline as Christians call it. One day at a time is all we are required to live. So we only need to give our best effort for one day, then repeat.

I've been dealing with many issues in my marriage and family for several months now. I partially moved out of my home back in August. For two months I have been alone in a small dwelling with only God, His Word, music and coffee! I've grown very attached to the solitude. I discovered things about myself during the time there, mostly what makes me happy. Last week everything shifted leaving me with very little options. The only workable one was to return home. Uncertainty was my shadow that day. I was terribly sad as I went to work thinking about my family who have not changed since I left and seemed to have adapted without me. Make note: I did not want to go back home to the same misery I left.

In life, I try to wait upon God in all things. I think about Him and talk to Him constantly. God and I are best friends. Because of this relationship, I know how to listen for His voice, call it a feeling or a nudging, but I know when He is speaking to me. This particular day while at work, more discouraging news was plopped on top of what I already was dealing with. Then to make things even worse, I broke a vase while cleaning a clients house. I had no strength left after all of these blows and I just fell apart and cried most of the time I worked. Yet through all of this, I did get that feeling and a full assurance of what I needed to do. I knew for sure that I needed to move back home. There was no doubt whatsoever. It didn't mean I was happy about it, I certainly was not. I simply knew that I needed to go and do something that I did not want to do. By God's grace alone was this even possible.

God wasn't finished with me yet. He was so creative, he used my client to give me further instructions. Just like in the story of Saul in the bible, God used Ananias to give Saul instructions as to what to do now that God had met with him. My client gave me advice about respect and making things different when I return home, she used a stern tone to drive her point across to me. Needless to say, it stuck. This lady had no idea I had been teaching the lesson about Saul to my Sunday school class and her advice was just the signal I needed to hear God's instructions from Saul's story in the book of Acts chapter 9. Saul had been persecuting Christians and one day God met him on the road to Damascus and changed his heart. After this meeting with God, Saul was used by God to deliver the Gospel message throughout the land instead of persecuting the Christians.

After thinking about these things, I went home. I made changes to the house signifying things would be different. As I was making these changes, as I was obeying God, He flipped the switch in me just like he did in Saul. I suddenly got the idea to bless my family and not alienate them. I had run from my problems because I could not see a way to fix them. God has now told me that it is not my job to fix them but to simply obey Him and serve my family with a loving heart full of compassion. When I realized this, my thoughts began to stir with ideas of all the things I could do for my family. All the ways I could bless my family whether they deserved it or not, I just needed to do it. You see Jesus is my example and He died for us while we were yet sinners. We did nothing to earn His sacrifice or love. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. John 3:16

With Jesus as my leader I am sure to follow His way. I am on a new mission, just like Saul, set out to be a blessing. I have been home for a few days and already the changes are working out great. Today as a matter of fact, my kids hung out in the living room with me for a couple of hours, ate dinner without complaining and didn't give me any grief about anything. I sat in the silence of the room with my kids and acknowledged God's marvelous workings in my life. Trust and obey is all I kept thinking. God's ways are not our ways. So far, He has equipped me with the desire to do as He says and honestly I am excited about all of the possibilities that lie before me. I give to so many people and I am thrilled to want to give to my own family....even though they haven't changed since when I left a few months ago. I have! Praise the Lord!

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