Marriage God's Way

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Posted 9/30/16 at 8:40 PM | Scott LaPierre

Understanding Love

The following is an excerpt from my book, Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre

The English language has a single word for “love.” A man uses the same word to say he loves football, working on his car, and his wife. For his wife’s sake, let’s hope he loves her differently from the way he loves football or automobiles. A wife in turn might say that she loves shopping, her husband, and her children. Obviously, the love we have for things we enjoy is different from the love we experience in relationships. And even within our relationships, we recognize we love our parents differently from the way we love our spouses. We love our children differently from the way we love our pastor or fellow church members, our co-workers, or our clients. FULL POST

Posted 9/12/16 at 4:51 PM | Scott LaPierre

God’s Chastening Is Not Punishment, but a Father’s Loving Discipline

The following is an excerpt from my book, Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre.

Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre

Hebrews 12:5–6 discusses the way God produces good in our lives:

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.”

We often apply these verses to God’s punishment of sin, but the real context is God working out certain issues to produce fruit and righteousness in our lives. Since none of us is a perfect husband or wife, we all have sin in our marriages. That means each of us has certain behaviors and struggles God needs to fix as we grow in our sanctification and become more like Christ. God will chasten us to make that happen. While that does not always feel good, we should embrace the chastening, understanding that God is doing something good and worthwhile in our life.

The author of Hebrews goes on to say in verses 11–13:

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. FULL POST

Posted 9/5/16 at 5:57 PM | Scott LaPierre

Embrace the Struggle

The following is an excerpt from my book, Marriage God's Way.

Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre

As you read about marriage, whether in God's Word or books like Marriage God's Way, you'll recognize weaknesses in your relationship with your spouse. This can create tension, but it's actually a good thing! God is introducing areas that need to be improved, and the best way to do that is by asking each other tough questions. A husband might say, “Outside of the Lord Himself, do you feel like you are taking second place to anything in my life?” If a wife answers that she does not feel she is the supreme relationship in her husband’s life, the husband should not try to talk her out of the way she feels or persuade her to see things differently. Likewise, a wife might ask her husband, “Do you feel like I respect you?” If the husband explains how she makes him feel disrespected, the wife should not argue with her husband and try to convince him he’s wrong. Instead, each spouse should listen to the other and try to make the appropriate changes. FULL POST

Posted 8/30/16 at 12:22 PM | Scott LaPierre

Handling Frustrations Toward Our Spouse

The following is an excerpt from my book, Marriage God's Way.

Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre - Handling Frustrations Toward Our Spouse

God's Word is not split into one section for husbands and another for wives. The biblical passages on marriage, such as Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7, contain intertwined exhortations for both spouses. Husbands should read the instruction for wives, and wives should read the instruction for husbands so they can understand what is commanded of their spouse. If a husband knows what is expected of his wife, and a wife knows what is expected of her husband, they can help each other fulfill their biblical responsibilities.

Although, there is also a danger associated with this approach. Since the standard set by God’s Word is so high: FULL POST

Posted 8/20/16 at 6:49 PM | Scott LaPierre

Marriage “Problems” Are Really Symptoms

Marriage God's Way by Scott LaPierre

The following is an excerpt from my book, Marriage God's Way.

Because our relationship with our spouse is a reflection of our relationship with Christ, our marriage “problems” are really only symptoms. The actual problems are in our relationship with Christ. In my own marriage, for example, there have been times when the “problem” looked like I didn’t have enough time for my wife and children, but that was only a symptom. The problem was that I would not listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompt to meet my family’s needs, and I was allowing the ministry to take priority to my family.

This is why any biblical marriage counseling must address the couple’s relationship with the Lord. Couples I counsel are often confused when they share a problem they are experiencing and I respond by asking, “So what does your time in God’s Word look like? How is your prayer life? What about your involvement in the church?” A wife will say, “I just told you my husband yells at me. Why are you talking about his time in the Word?” Because the hope is that as a husband reads God’s Word he will become convicted of his sin and repent. He will become a more patient and loving man. I do not have the power to change a husband’s heart (and apparently neither does a wife or there would be no need for counseling). A husband can only become a new man through a relationship with Christ. FULL POST