Today's Christian Marriage
2/3/12 at 02:39 PM 4 Comments

BIBLICAL MARRIAGE? Dear Lord, I Messed Up!

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To date, I have attempted to teach all aspects of the truth of Biblical marriage, i.e., how it is made, what violates it, the consequences of those violations, and more, particularly to those who declare to be born again members of the body of Christ.

For those of you who have read my book or my articles on this blog, you should have clearly concluded that the theology I teach concerning marriage and fornication is considerably contrary to the theology that is being taught and promoted.

My hope has been that most who have patiently read my articles (meaning, the subject is too deep to write all aspects of marriage in one article, hence the purpose of my book) have viewed each article as:

1) A building block, defining and supporting the reasons for me teaching as I do on Biblical marriage and why it contradicts other teachings on the topic.

2) An insight through God's Word on just how horrible conditions are sexually within Christendom.

3) A Biblically secure, dependable, and defendable exposition of instruction for the church's future purity, example, and promotion of marriage.

The primary evidence that creates the contradiction between marital theologies is plainly the Biblical view of individual sexual intimacy (connections) - its effects and consequences.

More so, other evidentiary contradictions of Scriptural theology and interpretation exist and have been highlighted because of their employment, one way or another, rightly or wrongly, in facilitating the construction of the perception of Biblical marriage. The most notable of these other contrary Biblical perceptions and understandings are the bride of Christ, the book of Hosea, and the workings of grace, primarily.

Because the theological differences are considerably vast, all can't be right. Of course, I am absolutely convinced that I am right concerning my discernment regarding Scriptural instruction and application to the subject of Biblical marriage. I acquire this view, because when each theological view is represented and applied in the Word of God, my perception/application possesses a significantly more thorough, contextual, and cohesive rendering to what it speaks involving the makings of a marriage and its violations than does any other.

If one makes an honest effort to incorporate the marital theology of others into Scripture, it doesn't take long to determine that its application either fosters a confusing outcome or is contradicted by Scripture itself. A number of examples have been noted in my previous articles. This is why many trained scholars and revisionists explain and rewrite Scripture as they do, because based on their theology it makes no sense to them, as it is written. So, they change it to fit their theology. They have to. After all, they are scholars, ya know...? And yet, in spite of their inapplicable re-creations and embellishments, confusion and contradiction remains.

Although my theological conviction is strong and my understanding keen, I realize that I am obligated to clearly prove, based on Scripture, as best I can, the reasons for my believing and teaching the way I do, which I have and still am striving to do. To what degree others will apprehend and accept the truth of Biblical marriage that I teach is up to the Lord, His will, and timing, as well as the hearts of men. Some acknowledge seeing its truth, practicality, and cohesiveness immediately.

Believe me when I say, I have not pursued this endeavor haphazardly. I did not venture this task of revealing my theology without much consideration of what I would be up against – centuries of wrong Scriptural theology and a very entrenched bias toward that theology.

From the onset, I had to be convinced I knew that what I was teaching was Biblical truth. Why? Because it is all I want. I don't want to teach anything that is not true. It is not about me, it is about God's people living a holy and acceptable life for the Lord and having accurate knowledge to do it. If I am proven wrong, I will be happy to admit it and move on. However, I haven't, as of yet, been convinced of that conclusion. In fact, as articles, interviews, sermons, and books spoken and/or written by those who adopt erred theologies of marriage keep coming forth, I am convinced all the more of my position.

Also, I see organized religion, which accepts this erred theology, continually embarrassing itself through its confusion, inappropriate sexual antics and discussions, acceptance of fornicated lifestyles, and, as I have pointed out numerous times, adopting completely secular marriage concepts, causing great harm in the process. It is hypocritically replete with sexual sins, in spite of the Apostle Paul's admonishment "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints" (Ephesians 5:3, KJV), because of a lack of knowledge and enforcement of right Biblical standards of theology and lifestyle.

The perceived message of the theology predominantly accepted by many professing Christians appears to declare to unbelievers that "because of grace, we aren't expected to attain to anything. Our carnality, infidelity, illegitimate divorcing, fornications, uncleanness, covetousness, lasciviousness, etc., etc. can be constantly forgiven and our person renewed no matter our sin - whereas, not so with you. So, believe like us, be saved, become part of the assumed bride of Christ, and then you won't be expected to attain to anything either. You, then, can possess an 'I know you said that, but I didn't suppose you really meant it' mentality, like us." Oh, such a leavened lump!

I am fully aware of the predominant theology that has been taught, how long the teaching of it has existed, the magnitude of its reach, and the depth of its hold upon many throughout the world. I had been taught it, as well. Nevertheless, for anyone who cares to know and see, the theology on marriage that I present is what Scripture pointedly teaches and defends - not so with other theologies.

One such wrong theology I just alluded to, which I believe contributes to so many committing and living in fornication, is the perception of God's grace when applied to sexually intimate engagements. The belief that grace is an eliminator of all consequence (at least that which can't be seen), brought about by a Christian's disordered sexually intimate engagement, is absolutely wrong and unscriptural. It adds to the confusion and contradiction regarding Scriptural reference to marriage and fornication and is detrimental to the church and its connection to Christ.

When one is led to believe sexual violations (fornication) are no greater of a sin than just a change of mind toward commitment or the telling of a lie, and can be forgiven and erased with no consequence to the body and soul, it fosters the attitude, "What's the big deal? I made a mistake. I'll just repent and, then, I can start all over again with no consequence," regardless of what they did, who they did it with, and the natural power of effect attached to what they have done. This is the predominately accepted and practiced theology by numerous professing Christians.

This is what wrong teaching on the application of grace and the acceptance of secular marriage concepts propagates; what I believe to be great factors causing many professors of Christ to be defiled, despised by the world, and promoters of fornication throughout the world to every generation that receives its unbiblical theology of marriage and effects of grace toward the violation of marriage.

So, what is the purpose of me saying all of this? Well, its purpose is to indicate, I understand with all gravity that what I have been teaching from God's Word is contrary to status quo teaching and what people's response to it might be. However, when faced with such a challenge, it is important to be as the Bereans " that they received the word with a readiness of mind, and searched the Scriptures daily, whether these things were so" (Acts 17:11), and not just a follower of the herd.

Also, now that I have defined Biblical marriage to the degree I have and many are reading my theology, a number of those Christian readers have realized themselves to be in violation of God's will and design for them sexually. Because of the severity of the violation, they are concerned.

I am a firm believer in the grace of God through Christ, that His blood can and does wash away our sins, and that we have an advocate with the Father, whereby "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" – all sins. However, all sins can be forgiven, but all sins are not equal in effect and consequence. The committing of fornication - sinning against the body - is one that stands out to be altogether different from every other sin, as I have vividly taught. This difference demands recognition and accountability.

Granted, many who have committed fornication knowing the little they knew, without any knowledge of my blog-writings or book, knew that their sexual engagement was wrong and worthy of condemnation, yet did it anyway. How much of that, do you suppose, had to do with the wrong application of grace?

So, what is to be recommended to those who have violated the will of God sexually, having believed wrong theology when it comes to marriage and grace, but now understand sexual intimacy and its ramifications as I have taught, realizing the consequence?

What is to be said to those who may say, "Biblical Marriage? Dear Lord I messed up!" I have Christians write to me asking this question. Now, after providing enough teaching and insight to Biblical marriage, I want to humbly give my advice. For we are in a MESS!

There is only one hope that I know of in Scripture that one can look to after having recognized they have sinned sexually. I believe the Scripture to be very clear that within grace there is a one-time sacrifice provided to those who have sinned, because of ignorance – ignorance to Biblical truth, which involves a wrong theology of sexual intimacies and the application of grace.

Under Old Testament law, the one who had sinned ignorantly was to bring a sin offering and, then, the priest was to make atonement for him. "And if any soul sin through ignorance, then he shall bring a she goat of the first year for a sin offering. And the priest shall make an atonement for the soul that sinneth ignorantly, when he sinneth by ignorance before the Lord, to make an atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him" (Numbers 15:27&28).

I have never declared that one cannot receive forgiveness for the sin of fornication. However, because of a defiled connection being made that is not unmade when forgiven, the fornicator must not make any more sexual connections, but must stay celibate to avoid further fornication.

So, the question is... Does the repented sin of ignorance to sexual intimacies permit a Christian fornicator to start afresh, once more, in spite of the connections made?

Well, in my humble opinion, I have to believe the answer to that question is yes. I say yes, based on the Scripture above, as well as a belief that the Lord could have and would have stopped it His self if no other remedy existed. Note: This teaching is the remedy in itself.

In Genesis 20:3-6, Abimelech sent for and took Sarah from Abraham to have as his wife, because Sarah and Abraham told him that they were brother and sister and not husband and wife. Howbeit, God came to Abimelech in a dream and informed him that "thou art but a dead man" for taking Sarah, which he had not yet been sexually intimate with, but intended to be. Abimelech pleaded his case of innocence of heart before the Lord. In another dream, God acknowledged Abimelech's integrity and clearly indicated that He had "withheld" Abimelech from sinning against Him, "therefore suffered I thee not to touch her."

In Christ, I believe the atonement for the sin of fornication through ignorance exists to which celibacy is not required. Not that the body is made new and is no longer defiled, but that accountability is not leveled. The Lord will pardon and overlook the sin.

However, knowledge is knowledge and ignorance is ignorance. No one can claim ignorance if they truly know. This is now where all Christians stand whosoever has read anything that I or anyone else has taught regarding this theology of Biblical marriage.

Now, with understanding, it behooves every guilty party to sincerely repent and acquire all the knowledge available of the truth, and never commit fornication hereafter, knowing of the severe consequence that will now apply as a result. To avoid knowledge or to commit fornication with knowledge, there will be no excuse or sacrifice. Even though one can still be forgiven having comprehension, celibacy will be their living lot. Otherwise, they will be living in fornication and will account for it.

"For If we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries" (Hebrews 10:27).

"But the soul that doeth aught presumptuously...that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Because he hath despised the word of the Lord, and hath broken his commandment, that soul shall utterly be cut off; his iniquity shall be upon him" (Numbers 15:30&31).

Now, it is up to everyone who reads my declared Biblical theology to decide whether they choose to accept it as Scriptural truth or not. The only other option is to adhere to the predominately accepted theology or some other. And as I indicated before, only one is right. I will hold fast to mine.

As far as your present situation, for there are many different ones to be sure, I will just recommend that if you believe my teaching aligns with Scripture, then acquire all the knowledge that is available from me and analyze where you stand Scripturally. If in violation, then repent.

Next, once forgiven of the past, and if your present situation can exist as if it were new within the confines of Biblical marriage, then, continue in it. Otherwise, you will need to get yourself on a new path immediately. Each will need to seek God's guidance and go with what you feel He is advocating for you. It would be a very wise thing to do. Also, I am available at my website.

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Attention: Recommended initial article reading order for a Biblical marriage foundation:

The Honor of Biblical Marriage

Fornication: Sinning Against Your Body – Part 1&2


Premarital Cohabitation: A Christian Mythology

Biblical Marriage and the Erroneous Marriage Covenant

Putting Biblical Marriage Asunder


Divorce: It’s All About Being Married

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