Today's Christian Marriage
1/27/10 at 11:28 AM 0 Comments

How to Forgive and Be Forgiven

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Can I Save My Marriage? Read the article below for tips on how to save your marriage.

The closer you are to someone, the more likely 
you are to step on their toes. And being married 
to someone certainly puts you in close quarters. 
So the chances are good that you and your spouse 
have sore feet.

Okay, enough of the smelly metaphor. The point is 
that it's NORMAL for you and your spouse to err 
and for those "misses" to cause hurt...sometimes 
serious hurt.

Did your spouse hurt you? Have you made mistakes 
that hurt your spouse?

Except in the case of physical abuse, you can 
"move on" from anything. In fact, your marriage 
can end up even BETTER!

I're probably thinking, "Better? How 
could it be better than before we screwed up?"

It CAN be better, but you have to do one thing 
first. You have to forgive.

What does it REALLY mean to forgive?

Many people will say, "I forgive you," but 
continue to harbor anger in their heart. Some 
people say the words, but it's obvious from their 
actions that nothing's changed.

Other people will say "I forgive you" but what 
they really mean is, "I don't want to talk about 
this. I can't deal with this. I'm turning you 
off." And so the 3 magic words come out and form 
a wall that shuts out their spouse. True, they're 
not angry, but that's because they've shut down 
all emotion and refuse to reconnect.

Saying "I forgive you" is an entirely different 
ball game than truly forgiving.

Look carefully at the word "forgive." It tells 
you what it means. "For-Give" other words, to 
GIVE as you did beFORE.

That's true forgiveness. When you GIVE of 
yourself like you did beFORE you were hurt, then 
you know you've forgiven. When you stand as close 
to your spouse as you stood the day your feet got 
stepped on...that's forgiveness.

That's not easy to do. But it is possible. You 
can forgive each other and move on. That's one of 
the things we'll work on in the next Marriage 
Fitness Tele-Boot Camp.

And once you forgive, you'll see that your 
marriage will be BETTER than it was before. 
You'll be happy that the mistake was made (in a 
strange way) because you'll realize that you 
would never have achieved the love you finally 
did without that mistake as your catalyst.

Did you know that when a broken bone heals it's 
stronger than it was before it was broken? You 
too can be STRONGER than before things broke down 
between you and your spouse.

Did you ever make love after a big fight? Did you 
ever think after you made-up, "Hey, this is 
great? We should fight more often." (Ha Ha) 
Sometimes the highest-highs follow the 

But you have to know how to reconcile. You have 
to know how to get to a place of sincere 

Let me know if you have any questions.

Wishing you well,

Mort Fertel 
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

Get FREE marriage therapy: Mort Fertel's '7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage' available at

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