The closer you are to someone, the more likely
you are to step on their toes. And being married
to someone certainly puts you in close quarters.
So the chances are good that you and your spouse
have sore feet.
Okay, enough of the smelly metaphor. The point is
that it's NORMAL for you and your spouse to err
and for those "misses" to cause hurt...sometimes
Did your spouse hurt you? Have you made mistakes
that hurt your spouse?
Except in the case of physical abuse, you can
"move on" from anything. In fact, your marriage
can end up even BETTER!
I know...you're probably thinking, "Better? How
could it be better than before we screwed up?"
It CAN be better, but you have to do one thing
first. You have to forgive.
What does it REALLY mean to forgive?
Many people will say, "I forgive you," but
continue to harbor anger in their heart. Some
people say the words, but it's obvious from their
actions that nothing's changed.
Other people will say "I forgive you" but what
they really mean is, "I don't want to talk about
this. I can't deal with this. I'm turning you
off." And so the 3 magic words come out and form
a wall that shuts out their spouse. True, they're
not angry, but that's because they've shut down
all emotion and refuse to reconnect.
Saying "I forgive you" is an entirely different
ball game than truly forgiving.
Look carefully at the word "forgive." It tells
you what it means. "For-Give"...in other words, to
GIVE as you did beFORE.
That's true forgiveness. When you GIVE of
yourself like you did beFORE you were hurt, then
you know you've forgiven. When you stand as close
to your spouse as you stood the day your feet got
stepped on...that's forgiveness.
That's not easy to do. But it is possible. You
can forgive each other and move on. That's one of
the things we'll work on in the next Marriage
Fitness Tele-Boot Camp.
And once you forgive, you'll see that your
marriage will be BETTER than it was before.
You'll be happy that the mistake was made (in a
strange way) because you'll realize that you
would never have achieved the love you finally
did without that mistake as your catalyst.
Did you know that when a broken bone heals it's
stronger than it was before it was broken? You
too can be STRONGER than before things broke down
between you and your spouse.
Did you ever make love after a big fight? Did you
ever think after you made-up, "Hey, this is
great? We should fight more often." (Ha Ha)
Sometimes the highest-highs follow the
But you have to know how to reconcile. You have
to know how to get to a place of sincere
Let me know if you have any questions.
Wishing you well,
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness