Today's Christian Marriage
2/1/10 at 12:34 PM 0 Comments

How to restore HONOR to your marriage

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Would you believe there's a lot you can
learn about your marriage from the American

There is. Listen up.

Recently, I took my kids to Fort McHenry. You
know, that's where Frances Scott Key wrote the
Star Spangled Banner when he saw the flag still
raised after a 26 hour bombing by the British.

What really got my attention was the HONOR the
tour guide bestowed upon the flag. Let me
describe the scene.

There were hundreds of people touring the fort
when the guide announced that it was time to
lower the flag. He asked the guests to help.

I don't know if you've been to Fort McHenry, but
the flag is ENORMOUS. The guide said it was 40
feet long by 30 feet wide. That's half the size of
a basketball court. So when that flag came down,
it took all of us (a few hundred guests) to stand
around the four sides of the flag and hold it off
the ground.

Now you might ask: Why can't the flag touch the
ground? Why interrupt a few hundred people
touring Fort McHenry so stitched cloth doesn't
touch a well manicured lawn? Why not just let it
down, fold it up, and stuff it away?

No way!

You should have heard the tour guide talk about
the flag. You would have thought it was a
delicate family heirloom.

Not only did the tour guide beg us to be careful
that the flag not touch the ground, but he also
pleaded for us to be ambassadors for the Star
Spangled Banner. He explained that professional
singers bastardize the Star Spangled Banner by
forgetting words or inserting sounds between
words to bring attention to themselves. He felt
this was dishonorable to the flag and to the
national anthem and that these performers lacked
a certain awe or respect that the flag and the
anthem were due.

The tour guide went on for 20 minutes explaining
EXACTLY how to care for a flag. He also recited
every verse of the Star Spangled Banner and
talked about the PROPER way to sing it.

The whole time I had 3 questions:

1. Was I going to hell for eating popcorn during
the national anthem at the Yankees game?

2. What would this tour guide do to me if I
accidentally dropped the flag?

3. Did the tour guide treat his wife as well as
he treated the flag and the anthem?

Do you remember when you and your spouse were so
CAREFUL with each other? You treated each other
like a guide at Fort McHenry treats the American
flag and the national anthem. You measured your
words and watched your behavior.

And then you got careless. Then you started to
take each other for granted. What happened?

One of the keys to restoring a marriage is to
re-instill FEAR in each other. I don't mean fear
like you fear a robber. I mean fear like you
would fear carrying a million dollar antique
vase. You wouldn't want to drop it. You'd be so
careful. You'd do everything you could to protect
its condition.

How do you bring that consciousness back to a
failed marriage? And even if YOU were willing to
learn, how do you motivate YOUR SPOUSE to want
to save the marriage too?

Let me know if you have any
questions about how to stop your divorce.

 I'll do whatever I can to help you.

Be well,

Mort Fertel
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

Get FREE marital counseling email articles: Mort Fertel's '7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage' available at

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