Have you ever been to a vineyard? There are acres upon acres of land devoted to growing grapes. These grapes will then be plucked, crushed, pressed, skinned and fermented to make one of the most popular beverages in the world – wine.
Now imagine those poor grapes. They go through a lot. Some individuals who are in an unhappy marriage say that the pain they experience is akin to being crushed like grapes and beaten down emotionally. They ask themselves “why am I doing this?” and “where is this relationship going?”
But just as a grape goes through a difficult journey before it becomes a fine wine, sometimes a marriage has to go through some painful early stages before it matures.
Many believe that those with the best marriages are people who grew up well-adjusted, in happy homes with normal parents. But that’s not always the case. Those people might have good marriages, but the BEST marriages are those in which couples were crushed, experience pain, and salvaged their relationship from the ruins of broken hearts.
For many couples, it takes the experience of truly hitting rock bottom to realize there is something there worth saving. Of course, that turnaround isn’t automatic. In order to fix your marriage, you have to take responsibility.
But what does it mean to be responsible? Well, if you’re taking responsibility for your marriage, then your marriage is no longer determined solely by what happens, but also how you RESPOND to what happens. If you’re responsible, you’re not a victim to circumstance. You are the master of your fate.
How you respond to your marital situation in the present, will determine your marital situation in the future. Your actions create your marriage. Your mashed-up, fermented grapes can become that fine wine.
Making a relationship work is not magic. Love is not mysterious. You don’t have to get “lucky”. You can create love. You just need to know the recipe.