Exhale

I finally arrived home from Greece after an 11 hour flight back to America, a 5 hour layover in New York and to no surprise an additional 3.5 hour delay at the lovely JFK airport. (note to self, NEVER fly threw JFK if at all possible-smile) My head finally hit the pillow after a very long journey home, at about 2am on that Tuesday morning. My alarm went off at 7am and I was out the door in an hour heading to Atlanta to sing on TBN later that night. I was exhausted to say the least.

On my way to Atlanta I received a text from Mom Lenderink. My brother in law Troy (and Trent's brother) had been given 2 to 4 weeks to live. My heart sunk. It couldn't wait. I had Anita pull out her computer in the car as we were driving to Atlanta and book me a flight home to Michigan to see Troy immediately.

It was a stunning Friday morning as I pulled onto the Lenderink's long driveway. I stopped the car at the top of the hill to catch my breath and took a picture of the surroundings for the memory of it. I continued down the drive until I reached the Lenderink's home. There sat Troy on the porch as the sun captured the beauty of his face and the clouds danced around his thoughts. I was heartbroken and couldn't hold in the pain I felt. The tears fell with each blink of my eyes. I tried to stop them and whispered to myself to be strong. But my heart was wrapped up in this moment of what felt like good-bye. I reached for his face and kissed his hand. "I want more time", I thought to myself. I want more time with Troy. And the overwhelming feeling, of also wanting more time with Trent overcame me, too. So much of Troy reminded me of Trent at that moment and having to say good-bye to Trent, too. Words honestly can't describe what I felt. MY words can't even describe it. But I felt Jesus on that porch!

The time spent with Troy Friday was a gift from God. We just sat together over looking the lake for about 20 to 30 minutes. Just us, not saying a word but just letting the cool Michigan breeze push back any fears that either of us felt at that moment and began to exhale all that God had inhaled in us throughout our lives. Troy decided to go for a walk in his wheelchair with Brian helping him up the long driveway and I decided to go for a walk in the woods to see Trent's resting place with the LORD helping ME!

There is soo much I could tell you about the day spent at the Lenderink's and all the special moments God gave me in what would have appeared to be the midst of a storm I must admit, there have been many storms in my life where I just wanted to quit, be mad at God and just hide for a very long time. But this was one storm that I wanted to ride out, knowing that I would see glimpses of God all around me. And I did the entire day. As hard as that day was for me, I can't imagine what it's been like for Troy.

I kissed Troy once again, told him how much I loved him and that I'd see him soon. Then drove away looking in my rear view mirror as the family waved good-bye to me one more time. Some times there are no answers and life is soo hard to understand, I thought.

Lord, help us to come to You when we find ourselves lacking answers in almost impossible situations, that are soo hard and painful in our lives. When we have done all that we know to do and don't know what else to do, please remind us that every answer we need is found in YOU. Your wisdom truly holds the answers we are looking for. Give us the courage to keep looking and to never give up no matter how big the storm may seem. So today, we stand before you making the decision to come to You, at this very moment, with ears and hearts wide open to hear your voice clearly, and then to trust what you speak to us. I believe You can cause the walls in our lives to fall down, and our barrier will become our bridge. I receive it as you release it! Amen!

If you have a moment to send Troy an email, I know it would really mean alot to him, especially right now, and to his fiance Faye, who is a BABY Christian. troy@lenderink.com.

God bless you all. Keep fighting the good fight and I hope to see you on the road soon.

A fellow traveler,
Tammy Trent