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Christian dating: How difficult is it to find love online?

Mon, Nov. 20, 2017 Posted: 11:28 AM

While finding love is never a particularly easy task, it can be even more difficult when faith plays a large part in our lives. Anyone who uses social media will most probably be aware of the pitfalls that lay before us while we are waiting to be hit by Cupid’s bow. Whether it is a friend recounting the details of a terrible date with a less than chivalrous guy in a Facebook rant, or a sibling warning you not to join dating site ‘X’ because it’s “full of scammers”, we have all been privy to advice on where to find, and where not to find love.

But does the modern dating scene provide any hurdles for the christian community in particular? When it comes to online dating, these hurdles can be numerous. Are you looking for a lifelong soulmate? Do you mind if your partner doesn’t want to have children? Is your partner’s faith important to you? These are all questions that are simply not answered on all dating sites, and as such many Christians who are looking for love will have to filter through many non-compatible ‘matches’ to find the few that could be suitable.

Wasting time filtering through unsuitable profiles isn't a bain singularly associated with faith-based searches for love, though. This annoying facet of online dating affects most people in the modern world, but why is that? Has it always been this way? Is the online dating scene hampered by the fact that it is just that; dating that happens to be ‘online’? While it is true that rudeness seems to gestate easily online, and some people may look to the likes of Twitter and Youtube comment sections when trying to showcase the infantile and sometimes plain nasty way in which people interact online, not every corner of cyberspace exhibits this sort of literary bile. Much like in the real world, some websites, forums, and comments sections can be extremely welcoming while others can be filled with less desireable conversation, and the online dating scene is no difference.

What sites to avoid

What makes a dating site great for some people doesn't necessarily make it great for others. Tinder, which is one of the biggest and most popular dating site on the internet right now, is renowned for creating a scene that relies heavily on physical appearance. When all you get to see about your prospective date is a picture and their age, it is extremely difficult to work out whether you are compatible, outside of an initial physical attraction. For those of us looking for a serious relationship, Tinder and its ilk can become tedious, quickly. These sites tend to attract a certain type of clientele, that are looking for less serious meetups, they are quite easy to spot as soon as you sign up. If you manage to fill in your own profile in under 30 seconds, there is a good chance you are signing up to one of these sites.

The more salacious sites out there aren’t the only ones to watch out for, when you first start online dating. Others out there specialize in finding people whose bank balance is their badge of honour, while some cater to people who have always wanted to date someone in a certain profession. While this may suit some, those looking for a long-term and serious relationship will probably do much better looking elsewhere.

So how to avoid these sites? Well the clues are everywhere. Is the picture on the front page of the site reflective of your own intentions? Are the dater’s profiles ‘picture-heavy’? Does the ‘about us’ section of the website instil doubt in your mind? When it comes to choosing which sites to sign up for, it can sometimes pay to trust your gut instinct, and most sites are pretty honest about their own motives and design.

What about the good ones?

For all the sites out there that you don’t want to try, there are also plenty that should fit the bill for Christians looking for life partners. The best way to find them is by using a site like, where they contrast sites against each other, and even have a separate section for Christian dating. Other than these review sites, you can take the advice about ‘what sites to avoid’, and reverse it. Sites that ask plenty of questions when you sign up, are likely to contain much more detailed profiles for you to make an informed decision upon. After all, none of us like wasting our time, and equally none of us like wasting other people’s time either.

Luckily for you, these days you quite often find dating sites offering free signups, which means you don’t need to actually part with any cash before seeing whether the site is suitable. If you are unhappy at any point during the signup process, you can simply start looking elsewhere.

When all's said and done, Christian dating is not really any different to dating in any walk of life. Your faith is an important part of your life, and as such will form an important part of your decision making when dating. This isn’t much different from those who prefer dating people within the same profession, or have a preference for people who don’t drink alcohol. These are all preferences, nothing more, nothing less. As such, you shouldn’t be put off online dating purely because you feel that the odds are stacked against you, or that online dating simply doesn’t fit within your faith. It could be that you are simply looking in the wrong places. In this respect, ‘finding the one’ doesn’t only refer to your partner, but also the dating site you will utilise to find them in the first place. Find the right site, and suddenly finding the right partner becomes a lot easier.

Mark John