• January 30th, 2012
    03:48 PM ET

    Teenagers Talking Back: How to Manage This Annoying Behavior

    You: "You need to stop playing video games and do your chores. Have you taken out the trash yet? You promised you'd do that yesterday."

    Your child: "I'm in the middle of this game. Why do I have to take out the f----ng trash? Do it yourself!"

    You: "That's it! I'm taking away the Xbox. I've had enough of your back talk."

    Your child: "Get off my back! Alright, I'll take it out if it'll shut you up! (Mumbles under her breath and slams the door on her way out.

    When your kids start to talk back, you might as well welcome them to adolescence. Back talk, however disrespectful and obnoxious it is in the moment, is your child's way of learning how to assert herself. As every parent of a teen knows, adolescents often aren't thinking things through; they're just beginning to learn how to stand up for themselves, and most of the time they're not going to do it very well. Your job is to help your child change rude behavior by teaching her how to state her viewpoint in a more respectful and appropriate way. This doesn't mean she'll always get her way—but she'll eventually learn to voice her opinions without being disrespectful.

    FULL POST

  • January 17th, 2012
    02:45 PM ET

    "Sometimes I Don't Like My Child."

    It's a truth we don't often admit, even to ourselves: we don't always like our kids. I can hear the guilt in parents' voices when they say, "Sometimes I really don't like my child. He's a pain, he argues with me all the time and he's just not fun to be around." Or maybe your child just isn't the person you thought he would be: perhaps he's not academic or outgoing enough, or maybe he likes to complain and is very negative. It's important to accept the fact that you won't always like your kids—and they won't always like you. This is especially hard for parents of difficult, acting out kids to grapple with. But the fact is, you're on your way to less guilt and a better relationship with your child when you can acknowledge your feelings.

    FULL POST

  • January 09th, 2012
    04:54 PM ET

    How to Find the Behavioral Triggers That Set Your Kid Off

    Why are your child's "triggers" so important to be aware of when it comes to losing your temper, or your kids acting out? Many parents I talk to on the Parental Support Line are mystified by their child's behavior. They feel like they're walking through a minefield at home—where something, anything, could set their child off at any moment. This is an incredibly tough feeling for parents to deal with, and many feel at a loss about how to stop it; as a result, they feel defeated and hopeless. However, it is possible to turn things around.

    FULL POST

  • January 05th, 2012
    12:02 PM ET

    Calm Parenting: Stop Letting Your Child's Behavior Make You Crazy

    Does your child's behavior make you crazy? The truth is, there's no such thing as anxiety-free anything—let alone anxiety-free parenting. You worry about your child's behavior, health, attitude and relationships. You're anxious about how he's going to turn out and if he'll have success in life, and yet you're told over and over to "be calm." "Calm?!" you scream. "How am I supposed to be calm when my child doesn't do what I say, talks back and has a bad attitude?" You might also be thinking, "How else can I get her attention?" In saner moments, you might agree that it would be nice to have a calm home and peaceful relationships, but feel like it's an impossibility.

    FULL POST

  • January 01st, 2012
    11:06 PM ET

    Fathers' Love Lifegiving for Daughters

    Fathers have been given a tremendous ability to influence the lives of their daughters – either positively or negatively. How a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other men for the rest of her life. This is a massive responsibility for fathers to show their daughters love, respect and appreciation.

    A new book, That's My Girl: How a Father's Love Protects and Empowers His Daughter, will help fathers understand their daughters on a deeper level. Bestselling author Rick Johnson shares his own experiences raising a less-than-cooperative daughter to help other men realize the important role they play in shaping their daughters. That's My Girl is an honest look at what girls need from their fathers and provides applicable advice for men with daughters of any age to transform their relationship.

    "A daughter is a gift from God," says Johnson. "She needs to be treasured, nurtured and even protected by her father. God has placed within a daughter's heart the inherent desire, even need, to love and respect her father," He tells fathers, "The most important thing is for you to make sure your daughter knows you love her. She derives self-esteem and value from what you speak into her heart." FULL POST

  • December 19th, 2011
    03:00 PM ET

    Should You Negotiate Your Child’s Curfew?

    There are times when your thirteen year old may seem like a seasoned litigator, and your kitchen feels like a courtroom. Kids are surprisingly adept at negotiating, and sometimes it's hard to "beat them at their own game." It's important to teach kids how to negotiate because it's a necessary life skill, and it helps create kids who can function independently. They need to learn healthy ways to interact with people to get what they need.

    FULL POST

  • December 12th, 2011
    06:48 PM ET

    Boundaries Teach Boys Self-Discipline

    This past season, several high-profile college head football and basketball coaches have been vilified and lost their jobs due to the perception that they harshly enforced disciplinary methods upon a player or players in their program. I'm not defending these coaches' methods as I do not know the situation, but here's what I do know. Many young men today, especially talented athletes, have been raised without a father or any other form of accountability or boundaries in their life. They have gotten whatever they want their entire lives. They do not understand the value of true leadership or the concept of respect. These young men rebel against any kind of discipline and despise authority figures. Even though they may in truth crave discipline, they have steered their own ship for too long. They have learned to do what they want, when they want, and so any kind of restrictions—whether it is healthy for them or not—are very uncomfortable. They instinctively resist accountability and become self-focused and self-absorbed. Without willingly acceding to the mentorship and authority of other men, young males with this attitude will struggle their entire lives, creating problems in the lives of those who love and depend upon them. FULL POST

  • December 12th, 2011
    03:29 PM ET

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder: The War at Home

    When Hunter was a baby, Pat never imagined parenting him would mean becoming trapped in an argument that would last 15 years. From the time he was old enough to express himself, it seemed that he was looking for a fight with her.

    "He's a very strong-willed person," says Pat, her polite demeanor belying an obvious understatement. "He's manipulative, and he learned at a very young age how to make that work for him to get what he wanted."

    "The simplest things always seem to turn into huge problems because Hunter simply refuses to do what he is asked to do, whether it was brushing his teeth at age five, or raking the yard at age 15. The word 'no' lights his fuse, especially when in response to something he wants to do. He's always doing these irritating things," Pat explains, "as if he enjoys bothering you."

    Getting out of bed in the morning is the issue around which Hunter and his parents argue the most. "We've had the worst time in the world getting him up in the morning and into the shower. I know this is unbelievable, but he gets in the shower, stretches out in the bottom of the tub with the water beating on him, and goes back to sleep. From that moment on, we have to micromanage his morning to get him to the bus stop."

    Recently, Hunter was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Pat finally has a name for the behavior that's been exhausting her all these years. Now, she needs a solution. How does a parent stop the arguments with a child whose primary way of communicating is arguing?

    FULL POST

  • December 05th, 2011
    03:09 PM ET

    Stop the Blame Game: How to Teach Your Child to Stop Making Excuses and Start Taking Responsibility

    When parents realize that their children might have either a behavioral or learning problem, the first thing many do is blame themselves. Parents are usually very frightened and worried about their children's behavior. This fear often manifests itself in negative ways. One of those ways is blame.

    FULL POST

  • November 28th, 2011
    04:37 PM ET

    "Am I a Bad Parent?" How to Let Go of Parenting Guilt

    Countless readers write in to Empowering Parents and say, "I'm supposed to know how to make my child behave, but I don't. He's out of control and people blame me for his behavior. I feel guilty and ashamed most of the time, and very alone. It's the worst feeling in the world." The truth is, you're not supposed to know everything about being a parent—it's a skill you have to learn, just like anything else. While there's no one "right way" to parent, there are more effective ways to handle your child's behavior.

    FULL POST

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About this blog
Here you will find parenting tips from experts on building a healthy family.

Contributors
  • Empowering Parents is a weekly newsletter, online magazine and parenting blog published by Legacy Publishing Company. Our goal is to empower people who parent by providing useful problem-solving techn
  • Rick is the founder of Better Dads, a fathering skills program designed to inspire and equip men to be more engaged in the lives of their children.