In our country, grateful Americans set aside July 4th to celebrate a grand holiday. The festive fireworks, mouth-watering barbeques and fun with family and friends remind us about the value of our independence. But there’s another Independence Day that most parents dread. It’s the day your child walks out your door to begin life as an autonomous, responsible citizen.

As he crosses the threshold from the safety of your home into the dangers of the real world, you won’t be thinking about the petty battles you fought during the adolescent years. It won’t matter whether your teen’s room was clean, whether he watched too much television, or whether you liked his friends. What will matter most is whether you taught him what he needs to survive in the jungle that awaits him.

In this regard, independence is earned … not granted. It’s not enough that your teen has turned eighteen. He needs to mature and gain wisdom in order to enjoy an independent lifestyle. FULL POST

Do you often feel overwhelmed as the parent of an ODD child? Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner have worked with parents of kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder for 20 years—and Kim is the parent of an adult child with ODD. Read on to find out the 5 things you need to know to be a more effective parent.

FULL POST

If you're like most parents, you probably spend enormous amounts of time and energy teaching about the importance of being responsible. You encourage it, you explain why it's important, and you remind your child again and again why he should do the things he's supposed to do. You complain, nag and lecture, but to no avail. It probably seems like you're talking to a brick wall, because your kid still won't clean his room, empty the dishwasher, complete his homework or apologize to his little brother unless you threaten and punish.

FULL POST

You: "You need to stop playing video games and do your chores. Have you taken out the trash yet? You promised you'd do that yesterday."

Your child: "I'm in the middle of this game. Why do I have to take out the f----ng trash? Do it yourself!"

You: "That's it! I'm taking away the Xbox. I've had enough of your back talk."

Your child: "Get off my back! Alright, I'll take it out if it'll shut you up! (Mumbles under her breath and slams the door on her way out.

When your kids start to talk back, you might as well welcome them to adolescence. Back talk, however disrespectful and obnoxious it is in the moment, is your child's way of learning how to assert herself. As every parent of a teen knows, adolescents often aren't thinking things through; they're just beginning to learn how to stand up for themselves, and most of the time they're not going to do it very well. Your job is to help your child change rude behavior by teaching her how to state her viewpoint in a more respectful and appropriate way. This doesn't mean she'll always get her way—but she'll eventually learn to voice her opinions without being disrespectful.

FULL POST

It's a truth we don't often admit, even to ourselves: we don't always like our kids. I can hear the guilt in parents' voices when they say, "Sometimes I really don't like my child. He's a pain, he argues with me all the time and he's just not fun to be around." Or maybe your child just isn't the person you thought he would be: perhaps he's not academic or outgoing enough, or maybe he likes to complain and is very negative. It's important to accept the fact that you won't always like your kids—and they won't always like you. This is especially hard for parents of difficult, acting out kids to grapple with. But the fact is, you're on your way to less guilt and a better relationship with your child when you can acknowledge your feelings.

FULL POST

Why are your child's "triggers" so important to be aware of when it comes to losing your temper, or your kids acting out? Many parents I talk to on the Parental Support Line are mystified by their child's behavior. They feel like they're walking through a minefield at home—where something, anything, could set their child off at any moment. This is an incredibly tough feeling for parents to deal with, and many feel at a loss about how to stop it; as a result, they feel defeated and hopeless. However, it is possible to turn things around.

FULL POST

Does your child's behavior make you crazy? The truth is, there's no such thing as anxiety-free anything—let alone anxiety-free parenting. You worry about your child's behavior, health, attitude and relationships. You're anxious about how he's going to turn out and if he'll have success in life, and yet you're told over and over to "be calm." "Calm?!" you scream. "How am I supposed to be calm when my child doesn't do what I say, talks back and has a bad attitude?" You might also be thinking, "How else can I get her attention?" In saner moments, you might agree that it would be nice to have a calm home and peaceful relationships, but feel like it's an impossibility.

FULL POST

Fathers have been given a tremendous ability to influence the lives of their daughters – either positively or negatively. How a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other men for the rest of her life. This is a massive responsibility for fathers to show their daughters love, respect and appreciation.

A new book, That's My Girl: How a Father's Love Protects and Empowers His Daughter, will help fathers understand their daughters on a deeper level. Bestselling author Rick Johnson shares his own experiences raising a less-than-cooperative daughter to help other men realize the important role they play in shaping their daughters. That's My Girl is an honest look at what girls need from their fathers and provides applicable advice for men with daughters of any age to transform their relationship.

"A daughter is a gift from God," says Johnson. "She needs to be treasured, nurtured and even protected by her father. God has placed within a daughter's heart the inherent desire, even need, to love and respect her father," He tells fathers, "The most important thing is for you to make sure your daughter knows you love her. She derives self-esteem and value from what you speak into her heart." FULL POST

There are times when your thirteen year old may seem like a seasoned litigator, and your kitchen feels like a courtroom. Kids are surprisingly adept at negotiating, and sometimes it's hard to "beat them at their own game." It's important to teach kids how to negotiate because it's a necessary life skill, and it helps create kids who can function independently. They need to learn healthy ways to interact with people to get what they need.

FULL POST