A Praying Life
4/22/15 at 11:02 PM 0 Comments

Weather The Storm Part Four

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Well, if you have been following this segment of the Blog “Weather the Storm” this is the final part of this series. I really encourage you to take the time to reread those sections but I will do a quick review.

Weather the Storm tackles a prevalent but seldom acknowledge problem in the body of Christ. The problem is the high number of divorce among our Pastors and leaders. There was a time when the body of Christ and society frowned upon divorce. Now it seems to be too quickly accepted. Nevertheless, the blog was not about pointing fingers or condemning but rather examine the aspects that lead to the breakdown of marriage.

A reoccurring theme was misplaced priorities, ineffective communication and failure to attend to each other’s need. Sometimes there was a lack of accountability that contributed to the problem. Resources were listed to provide encouragement, information and support.

Weather the Storm part two examines the breakdown from the eyes of the “First Lady”. It tells her story, her pain, struggles, self esteem, feeling of loneliest, feeling unloved, unwanted, unfulfilled, disrespected, rejected, insignificant and misunderstood. The saddest part being that most times “Pastor” had not a clue of what was happening with his mate.

Many First ladies who leave their husbands have no idea of how many other First ladies feel the same way. There is a lack of support group to assist and provide ray of hope to encourage them to work things out. There is a need for true intercessors and armor bearers to help shield the “First Lady”.

Weather the Storm part three examines the breakdown from the eyes of the Pastor. It tells his story, his burden, his need to be perceived as being strong, as having the answers, over-burden, difficulty setting priorities, long working hours, giving out all he has while failing to take the time to be refreshed and allow others to pour into him, dealing with Jezebel spirits and temptations, feeling isolated, struggling with finances and unable to confide in others for fear of being betrayed and yes, sometimes, the spirit of Pride.

A pastor who does not have a Pastor to mentor him and to provide accountability is a Pastor that has been set up for failure. He needs a Pastor to Pastor him. Pastors are unlikely to go to counseling for fear of judgmental attitudes and perceptions of inadequacy and it offends their “manhood”

This segment also addresses the need of the Pastor to take the time to care for his physical, emotional and spiritual life. Pastors need to be cared for too. The burden/responsibilities need to be shared. There is a need for Intercessors and true armor bearer in place to undergird and help shield the Pastor. Hopefully, this segment provides insight to “First Ladies” of issues they did not fully recognized due to dealing with their own painful issues.

Weather the Storm Part four. Well, here we are. Perhaps you have been following these series and have been waiting for this, the last segment. Perhaps you are at the crossroads trying to decide which way to go. Perhaps in spite of all you have done the other party has made the decision for you and does not want to reconcile. What now?

Divorce on a stress scale is rated the same or higher than death. There will inevitable be times of anger, bitterness, despair, disbelief, hurt, pain, frustration and even shame. There is little point in saying: true Christians should not hate, be angry, bitter, and full of envy or un-forgiveness. As a counselor I would often tell my clients “emotions are not right or wrong”. They are real and we should not deny what we feel.

You can’t go around being angry all the time or constantly breaking down in tears and frustrations. This is what I often suggest to my clients. Designate a time for meditations at least daily until no longer needed. Get in a quiet place alone, put on your Gospel music. Bring in your mind, body and spirit in one place. Focus on being still and on your breathing for a few minutes. Now is the time to allow whatever feeling to come up. Don’t deny it, don’t justify it, and don’t bargain. Just allow yourself to feel it, identify it and own it. Yes, the hate, anger, bitterness, sorrow, pain, and shame whatever it is. You have a right to your emotions. Let the tears roll, hit the pillow, grab some paper and rip it into pieces

BUT WAIT; don’t think you are going to hold on to these emotions. No, you will feel it, acknowledge it and RELEASE IT. It would be totally unhealthy for you to SIT IN THAT PAIN. The purpose of this designated time is to assist you to come to grips with what you are experiencing. Now it is time to go in a different direction.
Now it is time to ask for strength to FORGIVE. Now it is time to wrap yourself up in pure worship to God. You will not be able to get through this if you don’t understand how to use two of the most powerful weapons God has given to us. Praise and worship are the weapons you will use. God is forever worthy of our worship. You had to first empty out of the bitterness and everything else in order to make room to receive his comforting power and love.

Things you must remember: God so love you. You belonged to him before you ever belonged to anyone else. God is not surprised about what has happen. God is still in control. His love for you is everlasting, fulfilling and unfailing. He keeps all of his promises. The Holy Spirit is there to comfort as only he can. Receive the comforting power of the Holy Spirit. You are not damaged goods, nor worthless, or a failure nor should you walk in shame.

This moment in time will not define who you are. It is only a chapter in your life. TURN THE PAGE. YOU ARE THE WOMAN OR MAN GOD CALL YOU TO BE AND YOU ARE WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE. In the end, what is important is that you wrap yourself in worship. Worship is a mighty weapon against the enemy, depression, gossip, slander whatever the enemy tries to throw at you. If this is the not the outcome you prayed for but it is the reality of the situation then seek God for his grace to see you through.


People will talk either way. Only God knows, understands and will judge. Remember the story of the eagle. He senses the storm, waits for the storm and heads into the storm knowing that the storm will thrust him above it. The Eagle will seek a high place and wait for the storm. The high place is in the presence of God, under the shadow of his wings, finding the strength to fly into the storm being assured that the wind of God, will undergird you, thrust you up and cause you to rise above the storm.

SPEAK THE ANSWER NOT THE PROBLEM. THE ANSWER IS THE WORD OF GOD. Father, God I pray that every reader will find strength, grace, be inspired, motivated, encouraged, broken and yielded to you and receive your truth as they read this. I PRAY THAT LIVES WILL BE CHANGED FOR YOUR GLORY.

God you are our strength, our strong tower, our defense, our hope and deliverer. We cover every marriage particularly those of our pastors and leaders in the BLOOD OF JESUS. You honor marriage. We pray for those for whatever reason has come to the painful decision of divorce whether it is their decision or the decision of the mate. We pray for the healing virtue of the living God to flow through them, in them and over them. Give them power to forgive and strength to move on. Surround them with intercessors who will not talk nor judge but hold them up in prayer. Help them to be overcomers by the authority of your blood, your holy word and the testimony of their mouth. You are still greater in them than the enemy without. You are still in control and all power is in your hands. What you allow to happen, you will bring us through it. For this cause we bow in humble submission to your will, receiving your comfort and strength as we commit ourselves to you knowing that you will keep us from falling. We are still victorious for you are our victory and you will never be defeated.


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