A Praying Life
2/3/15 at 04:41 PM 0 Comments

Weather The Storm Part Two

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WEATHER THE STORM PART TWO

Previously I approached the difficult and very sensitive subject of divorce among our Pastors, religious leaders and those in ministry. As I stated then and restate here: Matters of the heart are sensitive and no one can judge what another person is experiencing so this is not about judging rather about examining different aspects of the breakdown of a relationship. I want to encourage those who are considering divorce to consider again. SELAH, pause, mediate, and think again. I encourage you to weather the storm which is to say hang in there, wait it out, and hold on until the storm is over.

For those that have not read the original blog on “WEATHER THE STORM” I will first cover some of the key points in that blog:

Divorce a. The legal dissolution of a marriage.b. A court order or other document establishing such dissolution. A separation between things that were once connected or associated.
No one should stay in a situation where domestic violence exist and put them in harm’s way. And yes, domestic violence does exist in the pulpit and among them that confess Christ. No, it is not God’s will for you to be a punching bag for anyone. No, I’m not telling anyone to get a divorce but you need to take steps to ensure your safety.

Those who are true believers will face challenges in their marriages because the enemy will surely attack. Satan is not as focused on destroying marriages of non-believers as he is on that of believers because he is after more than the marriages but is looking to shake the faith of the believer. Those in ministry, particularly pastors need to prepare themselves for the attack on marriages and in those things concerning their personal lives. There will be difficulties. Satan comes to destroy those things that are most precious to you!

Setting priorities. Christians particularly Pastors and leaders, must understand the need for priorities and seek God help with setting priorities. GOD FIRST, your wife/family and THEN ministry. You must take care of your family first. How can you take care of God’s family if you are not meeting the NEEDS OF YOUR FAMILY? Your first duty and responsibility is to minister to your wife/husband. Your vows were to take care of each other and be there for each other. Thank God for the ministry God has given you but I encourage every Pastor and leader to remember God called you to the ministry but ultimately the PEOPLE BELONG AND WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO HIM.

I shared resources: How to issue a restraining order against Satan by Vivian L. Harris. The power of a praying wife by Stormie Omartian. Suggested consulting with a Christian counselor. Love Songs for couples:http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Love-Songs-T-D-Jakes/dp/B00000I5ZW
Now let us talk about a few more words before moving on.
VOW: An earnest promise to perform a specified act or behave in a certain manner, especially a solemn promise to live and act in accordance with the rules of a religious order. To promise solemnly; pledge. To make a pledge or threat to undertake.

COVENANT: To make a pledge or threat to undertake. In the Bible, a divine promise establishing or modifying God's relationship to humanity or to a particular group. A condition in a contract such as a deed or lease, nonperformance or violation of which gives rise to a cause of action for breach.
When a person enters into the union of marriage they are making both a vow and a covenant with each other and before God. A typical vow may be: I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. A slight variation may read: I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Genesis 2:24 KJV Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. GOD HONORS MARRIAGE. IT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY IT IS SACRED UNTO GOD.

What factors contribute to divorce? The consensus indicates the following this applies to marriages in general but the impact is amplified when it comes to those in ministry.
• Ineffective communication
• Failure to prioritize relationship with mate
• Finances
• Infidelity/Abuse
• Lack of conflict resolution
• Failed expectation of each other
• Physical, sexual and or emotional abuse
• Pride
• Unwilling to forgive

The Marriage Mission blog indicates the following reasons:
• Feeling lonely and abandoned
• Feeling unwanted & undesirable
• Feels husband is indifferent to her
• Feels she does not matter to him
• Left out of major decisions
• Hurt my feeling and never apologize
• Consistently says mean and spiteful things
• Feels he demean her in front of others

Ronald V. Ash author of “The Problems Facing a Pastor’s Wife Today” cited the following:

1. Time pressures due to husband’s heavy schedule
2. Husband, serving others, neglects own family
3. Financial stress
4. No one ministers to clergy family
5. Lack of family privacy—a goldfish bowl existence
6. Children expected to model church’s expectations
7. No in-depth sharing with other church couples
8. Lack of personal friends
9. Emotional stress caused by crisis situations
10. Husband must work when others are free

As stated previously in the Weather the Storm Blog, Pastors (male & female) MUST LEARN TO SET PRIORITIES. GOD, FAMILY AND THEN MINISTRY. You are accountable and have a responsibility to do all within your power to safeguard your marriage with the same intensity you would if a stranger walk into your home to attack (hurt, wound or kill) your mate. Satan is the culprit that comes to Kill, Steal and Destroy not just your marriage but your ministry and your church. So I ask you what you would do to prevent that “stranger” from destroying the one you love. Divorce is a strong man that must be exposed, bounded, brought down and destroyed.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Pastors, wives/husbands, those in ministry wake up. Look around you. Pay attention to what is happening with your mate. LOOK AT THEM. NO, REALLY LOOK AT THEM. LISTEN TO THEM BUT LOOK AS WELL. What do you see? Do you see pain? Listen to them. Do you hear hurt? Whatever you do, don’t be indifferent so please look at them with eyes of compassion, love and grace.

Vivian Harris author of “How to issue a restraining order against Satan” identifies six areas of attack from the enemy: spiritual, marriage, health, finances, personal & ministry. Excerpts: “Marriage restraint (stole weekly passion, vacations, cause wife’s respect for husband leadership abilities to waiver, cause husband’s ability to lead to waver, caused to to display pain, anger & spite towards each other, infidelity (physical & emotional),decrease in communication & time together. Restitution requested as follows: restore lovemaking and daily touching, tranquil vacations, stabilize wife’s respect for husband leadership ability, stabilize husband leadership ability & confidence, restore love, patience, emotional healing, friendship, restore sanctity of marriage vows on the altar of our heart. “

When was the last time you had a date night? A romantic evening at home? Your first ministry is to each other.

THE WORD OF GOD GIVES US THE AUTHORITY TO FIGHT.
Nehemiah 4:14 NLT Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, "Don't be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!"

There will always be a victim in a divorce for one will want to work it out while the other will not want to take any steps to preserve the marriage. One will hold on to love while the other would have already emotionally divorced their mate. One who is willing to FIGHT and one who just wants out.

DIVORCE IS A MATTER THAT ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. It is a matter of the heart between God, husband and wife. If your mate absolutely refuses to do anything to preserve the marriage and you have done all that you can then turn to God for his strength during this difficult time.

Know beyond a certainty that GOD LOVES YOU, YOU ARE VALUABLE TO HIM, HE WILL WIPE EVERY TEAR, and HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN COMFORT AND HEAL YOU. POUR OUT YOUR HEART TO HIM. HE WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU.

SPEAK THE ANSWER NOT THE PROBLEM. GOD WE PLEAD THE BLOOD OF YOUR SON JESUS OVER EVERY MARRIAGE. We see, understand, and recognize who the enemy is and we will not be deceived. We will not give him the victory that your son, Jesus has obtained for us through his suffering, dying and resurrection. We pray for strength to fight for our marriages, heal every broken heart, clean every wound, and make us whole again.

Turn each heart to you, open the ears and let us hear your voice, circumcise our heart that it may be tender towards you and our mate. Our hearts are in your hand and we submit to your will, we desire to please you and acknowledge you in everything. Direct our steps and bind it to the path you would have us on. We bow down in humility to you and let the spirit of pride be far from us that would keep us from walking in your will.

Father we placed our marriages on the altar. Help us to protect the sacrifice. Send your holy fire to burn everything that should not be there. Purify our hearts, minds, soul, and heal our emotions as we wait before you. There is no other hope outside of you. We fasten our eyes on you, trusting you to give us a testimony of your grace, love and mercy. We bow to you in humble submission and glorify your name for you are WORTHY, WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE.

Now Father, God I pray that the heart of each reader will be touched, healed, encouraged, inspired and motivated to seek your face. Let hearts be changed, eyes enlighten, ears opened and hearts receive this word. I ask that you would breathe your anointing upon each word and let your word accomplished its purpose and for this I thank you and give you glory in Jesus name. All for your glory.

Read more: http://blogs.christianpost.com/prayer/weather-the-storm-23964/#ixzz3QcyCpGtl

Weather The Storm Part Three will address "Healing After The Storm"

RESOURCES:
Marriage Missions http://marriagemissions.com/why-wives-and-husbands-leave-marriage-marriage-message-79/
The Problems Facing a Pastor’s Wife Today By Ronald V. Ash
http://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/bid/28051/How-to-Find-Christian-Marriage-Counseling
http://smolderingwickministries.org/
http://blog.chron.com/sacredduty/2012/11/when-pastors-need-pastoral-care/
http://www.northwoodschristiancounseling.com/counseling-for-pastors/

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