I love this show called the talk with Sharon Osborne I really just love her, an amazing woman. Anyway, she was talking on there a few weeks ago with a guest and they discussed empty nest and how it took her 2 years and it felt like death.
I just sat there and was like WHAT? That is what I said, that my son leaving felt like death. I literally had to keep walking around my house and saying “He is not dead!” which just is crazy…he was just in boot camp. I mean not just, that is crazy tough when you CAN’T contact someone and it’s your 20 year old son and let’s not talk about the days when they couldn’t do that! I don’t think I would’ve survived. This was torture, I literally felt like my whole world ended! What was I going to do now? My whole world has been my sons and I forgot to think beyond that. Actually, I thought beyond that but, only because my call always seemed to forever include my sons and I couldn’t understand what went so wrong.
I tried to never interfere with their decisions because I did not want to impose my call on them but, they had to choose on their own their role…but, I did expect them to talk to me about them when they’re ready, and he did and it had been discussed before about joining the military but, man now that it was said out loud and life was going to start happening…I lost all vision! Couldn’t see a thing beyond, what do I do now? Plus I had lost my job a few months previous so I fell apart and all I could feel was like death. Like someone died.
Anyway, when Sharon Osborne said that I realized that it might have been as simple as “empty nest” I was feeling. I searched everywhere for “why does this feel so bad” lol not the internet, just in me. Never thought about searching the internet but, that might have been because I was on the Navy Mom support groups which, we all were feeling that…potentially, a bunch of empty nesters! Lol Just kidding but, maybe not.
It’s been 2 years for me and sometimes I still feel the pain of it . I know, I still have one son at home but, he is my son that is not the social one. He has the side of me that stays more to himself, the reader, nerd side of me. Tony has the social side of me, let’s go shopping, let’s go out to eat, or let’s spend money. Lol that’s him and I. With Jacob, we can discuss his ideas, watch a movie, order in, play a board game; as long as we stay far away from stores or road trips. So, that might be why I experienced more with the first to leave.
I don’t know, we will find out when Jacob moves out…Not really looking forward to it. UGH
Thank you Mrs. O for just that sentence!