The Diary of A Single Mom
1/19/16 at 10:32 AM 0 Comments

Child Training Begins Right Here

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I really have no other way of beginning the training then by sharing some of my own scenarios and then later explaining how they played out. I already told you about the Barney show and how I trained Jacob to answer when I called him no matter what he was doing. I do think I need to elaborate at bit more on that subject. You will learn by experience that what I am about to tell you will happen in many areas and when it does you’ll think, ‘I read this in that parenting blog and I am NOT going to get frustrated, I’m just going to continue being consistent because she said this would happen.’ It’s ok you can laugh out loud (LOL) at that especially when it happens.

We got through the initial ‘Barney training’ (http://blogs.christianpost.com/the-diary-of-a-single-mom/train-them-up-dont-beat-them-down-26674/) but that was not all there was to it because for some reason answering when I called him it suddenly did not apply to when he was playing so I had to run the whole training again. In the time following it would happen about once in each situation however, not for his brother growing up seeing Jacob get spanked for this he just knew, plus I taught them to warn each other to listen so they won’t get spanked. They were not allowed to be happy about the other getting spanked or they would both get spanked. Our saying from the word of God was, “Am I my brother’s keeper? YES” Eventually the answering when I call became answering, “Coming” and get up and come to me because I soon found out that just answering led to more loud communication like, “Come here” and they would answer, “What?” and so and so forth. Needless to say I had to evolve the training to what suited our lives.

Next very fitting training scenario I found completely and totally necessary was when I trained them to share toys. At this point in our lives I was a full-time nanny to two other children where my job was to continue this same training that the mother was doing at night during the day. She did not want to put them in daycare and have everything that she was doing be undone daily so I stepped in and would train them along with mine, so I was training four kids ages 4, 3, 2, and 1 at this point. I do not exactly remember the ages but they are all 1 year a part so that’s what I have figured.

I started by training my two on a weekend. They were in a room with their belongings, playing while I was outside the door with a wooden spoon. There were some scenarios like answering where I took them in a separate room and spanked and then scenarios like this where I would hide outside the door and wait for the problem to happen and then quickly pop in the room and first teach them how they should respond. It went something like this, “No whining, no crying allowed. Let me show you what you do” I would get the toy and give it back to one and tell the other how to ask, “Can I play with that?” in the beginning, the answer was always YES, and hand it to him and then back again.

This is not as easy as it seems, as I am sure you can imagine. Children have this sense of when they give they will NEVER get it back again so we have to show to them and prove to them that’s not how it is, they will get it back. Well, when I took this training ‘on the job’ with four children it was quite literally an all day training session. I hid outside the door and waited and then taught and each time after I hid and waited outside the door and at the onset of a sharing dilemma I quickly popped in with the spoon and did a quick ‘pop’ to each child that was acting and reacting and made them repeat the proper way to share and say, “please and thank you” as well. It was time consuming, but really think about it…one day of training to teach a life lesson is not so bad. The tricky part was keeping the consistency of it throughout the years.
Now my children have their own rooms and they do not like when each one goes into the others’ room and although I allow the privacy to a point it is not a way of not sharing and quite honestly we don’t have that problem. They are amazing if I do say so myself.

Once you get over the hurdle of the initial spanking and on to the basic training – we can call this kiddie boot camp – seriously though, there are several main areas as mentioned earlier that are fundamental in shaping children’s behavior and instant obedience. I want to say always, but in actuality it was always since I got the revelation about spanking and then all the revelations along the way, so – I would look at spanking and training my children how God would expect us to respond to His leading and guiding. I know God doesn’t spank us and if you believe that God does things to teach you lessons you really need some bible schooling about what the bible really says – He is a good Father. God does teach us and train; the Holy Ghost and is our guide - our conscience and when we mess up he shows us in the Word how we messed up and how to fix it and even gives us the scripture to say when something bad happens to us. “By His stripes we are healed” and “No weapon formed against us shall prosper” for just a couple examples.

What I have seen is that when our children are growing we need to train them to be obedient and happy about it because God expects us to be happy too, even in sowing (“a cheerful giver”) so if they try to walk away from a spanking or rebuke or disciplinary action then it’s our job as their guides to train them to walk away happy. In the beginning I thought if they went up to their room and slammed the door and screamed that was ok since they were just letting out frustration but really it never set well with me and so God corrected me and taught me what to do just I then taught my children what to do.

Whenever I would begin to do something different I always told them at a separate time so they would have the chance to change their reaction. I would say something like, “Hey guys so you know how I would let you stomp up the stairs and slam your door because you were mad and didn’t like what I was saying? As of today that will not be allowed any longer. You must obey and then you must be happy about it. You are not allowed to walk away with a pout on your face or anger in your heart. The Bible says that Children must obey as well as honor their parents. So, immediately after this talk it is not allowed. I would tell them I love them and remind them that they MUST obey. Sometimes I would have them repeat after me, ‘I will obey mommy every time she tells me how to behave and what to do without question and I will be happy about it.’”

That would be the beginning of the new household standard. Initially when they would try to continue in old behavior I would call them back to me calmly and remind them of what was said and show them how to change their faces and their attitude – that is was really just simply a an action that needed to be done and normally if you smile your attitude changes with it. After that if they walked away and would not obey then I spanked for it but I really do not recall having an issue with this for very long or even having to spank much for it at all. By this time they knew if I said it – it was truth and I did not speak lightly – if mom said it that’s how it would be.

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