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Child Training for Life

Tue, Nov. 03, 2015 Posted: 10:28 AM


When we become a part of the Kingdom of God we are just that – part of a kingdom. In a kingdom the parents raise the children to be respectful of, honor, and serve the king. In the same manner, when you are part of the Kingdom of God we teach our children to love, honor, respect, and obey God. We are the doorway through which that respect and honor is tramitted. Teach our children to love, honor, and respectfully obey us, as their parents, and that will transpire to the same with God.

Through the years consistency had to remain intact. Last week I told of a the story of Jacob not hearing me when I called and getting him to the point of obedience. In doing so, there had to remain consistency on my part meaning that if he did not answer when I called he would get spanked on first offense, not 1 -2 -3 and then spanking. If you use that method you are basically teaching your child that instant obedience is not necessary they can disobey three times and then they can listen; if you want a child that you always have to repeat it three times then use that method but I definitely did not want that, why would I when I could have instant first time obedience if that is what I train them for.

Let’s talk about this for a moment...what is your focus when raising your children? Are you hoping one day they will be your friend? There should always be a dividing line between parents and friends. When my boys were 21 & 19 and I did not expect friendship out of them. Did we go out and shop together? Yes. Did we still play board games together? Yes. We go out to eat together, we watch movies together, we fellowship, pray, and have quiet time all together, but we all know if they do something that is not right, I spank them. If their attitude needs adjusting…it gets adjusted. They are not allowed to disrespect me or call me out on the carpet in front of people; we have a respectful fellowship between parent and children. This is a healthy relationship between parent and child - when they have things to do they go and the same goes for me. In other words, there is no feeling guilty for doing our own thing apart from each other.

When I started raising my boys the one thing that had to be adjusted was my heart. I had to really see beyond what was the present moments’ thoughts of, “I feel bad for spanking them for such a small thing” and change to thoughts of “What do I want my children to be like when they are older?” and did I really want them to struggle through some issues I had in life due to the lack of knowledge that my parents had in raising me. Don’t get me wrong my parents were great and I know I was very blessed to have them and they did the best they could with what they knew.

Bottom line is you can have children that do not manipulate, whine, or fight. Just make up your mind what you are willing to tolerate and don’t feel that you have to tackle everything at one time. Much like our relationship with God, He deals with something and we get through that and when it’s gone and then on to the next thing. Start where you are. The biggest need I had was simple obedience: Answer when I call was first, pick up your toys on first request, no running indoors, no fighting, share toys, and then on to the ones that a parent tends to not notice until the basics are gone.

For instance, I did not notice that my children kept interrupting me on the phone or that they whined when they asked for things. Slowly as the listening became more and more obedient I started to notice that they did those things so then it was time to take care of those things.

Another example is when my youngest son, Tony, would stick his tongue out to be funny and I thought it was so cute never thought of this as rebellion or an attitude adjustment. He was a funny kid and so I thought ‘funny’ until one day I NOTICED it and that was when I had to take care of it. My Pastors taught me that when God reveals something He heals it. That has transpired to me to mean that when He shows us an area that we need help in then He will help us with that area. Same goes with raising our children, when God shows us something they are doing that is not acceptable than He gives us the plan for dealing with that issue. It’s not a cookie cutter plan but the result should always be the same, instant obedience and a good attitude.

Marianne Kurtz