The Diary of A Single Mom
3/29/16 at 11:48 AM 0 Comments

Contracts With Your Children

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By definition a contract is a binding agreement between parties.

As my children were growing in their obedience and I was growing in my patience, there were several times when I felt a contract would help there be cooperation between the three of us. I can't believe I'm going to tell on myself like this...honest and real!

The first time I did this was when they became old enough to understand, which was just a few years after I first started disciplining them. I can only tell about this if I tell the whole story, so here it is...

As I have said in earlier blogs or maybe in my book that is coming out (I honestly don't recall) but I was not raised the way I ended up raising my boys. My parents just did not have a revelation of "Spare the rod, spoil the child" like I did. I mean they spanked us but a lot of times they were pretty upset. Don't get me wrong they did by no means beat my brother and I. Continuing my story...I had a pretty bad temper and when I would forget to be consistent I would sometimes lose my temper; this did not mean I beat my children, it just means it wasn't the right way (see my blog on "Impart Peace, Not Anger").

There was one instance when I got so upset at my oldest son that I found myself in the bedroom with the paddle in hand and about to spank him in anger and the look on his face was one of fear!! I did not like that look at all and can still this like as if it just happened. I walked out of the room and went in my bedroom and started to pray...now, this was not a good prayer...it was more like "Why me? Why do my children have to irritate me so bad? Why God Why??" only with tears and anger.

When I walked out of the room I told my son to stay in the room because he will get spanked because he was wrong but I cannot do it right now. He was in the room crying, I was in my room crying and didn't know how to go on. It took me probably ½ hour for God to break through and tell me it was my lack of consistency and that is why I was so aggravated that he was STILL doing the same things wrong.

Once I got that I went in the room and apologized for getting angry, hugged him, loved on him, and then spanked him in peace.

The reason for this blog is to tell you about the contract though...so after this happened we talked and wrote up a contract that said that if I ever tried to spank them in anger they can respectfully tell me in these words, "Mom you are angry and you said you are not allowed to spank us when you are angry" and at that point I would walk away and calm down and my side of the contract was to be consistent with them (I explained what that word meant) and they would do their very best to be obedient knowing that things were going to change.

I am not saying this was a cure all but writing it, signing it, and talking about what we all could do to help our home be peaceful helped have a different level of understanding.

During their lives we made several other contracts as they grew and we needed to change to allow for that growth.

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