The Diary of A Single Mom
9/15/16 at 09:06 AM 0 Comments

Life After Bulimia

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Life After Bulimia

I have written about insecurities but being in a constant state of insecurity regarding what I look like is a whole other story.

I know everyone deals with insecurity but, I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak from mine. One thing I could never understand is the saying: "You can’t love someone unless you love yourself"

I never agreed with this statement before because I know I can love…I love my kids, my friends, my family, and I think I have the ability to love without judging them. I never believed that I didn't have the ability to love just because I struggle with loving myself.

Then I started thinking how not loving yourself can hurt a relationship. Yep...I might be wrong about not agreeing with it...and now it's in writing...that I'm wrong. Oh NO!!!

When you're always looking at all the negatives within yourself then it's hard to imagine people seeing the positive. With family it's different because you know the unconditional love is there...at least in my family it is. My kids will love me unconditionally, my mom will and has loved me unconditionally no matter what I have done, my aunts, my uncles...they all love me unconditionally. But, someone outside the family...not so secure in that love.

I'm thinking this doesn't mean it's a matter of me loving myself. In my limited revelation of this saying I think it's more like letting someone love me and see me for the person that I know that I am but I have a hard time seeing. How can they see it if I have a hard time seeing it.

When you don't love yourself it's hard to think that anyone else will. To me it's not that I don't have the ability to love, it's that I don't have the abilty to see what others love about me. I mean I know I'm a good person and I know I have good qualities but, when you look behind the smile curtain and can see the real me...it's just always thinking about what I look like and mulitplying the reasons for someone to not love me or be attracted to me.

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