The Diary of A Single Mom
12/1/15 at 04:29 PM 0 Comments

One Navy Mom's Holiday...

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I'm getting through…

The holidays have always been a challenge but the past 2 years have been an especially big challenge for me. My son joined the navy and everything that I was knew to be normal joined the Navy with him. Meaning…the Saturday morning Starbucks and Village Inn breakfasts with either all 3 of us or just him and I. The all-day shopping in Destin and drinking Starbucks, the sitting around the house on a Saturday morning and then Jacob gets off work and we all just talk about everything! These things will never be the same. The problem is that I have no idea what I want in the future. I had it all planned out. I would give my life for the boys to be raised without people going in and out of their lives, I’d teach them how to guard their heart from being hurt, I’d guide them in every direction that I could that was a good direction without controlling them so that they can have the best of everything without all the hurt. These were my plans. Then when they were old enough to leave home I’d be married and transition right into a life with my husband where we travel and enjoy life…apparently this is my fairy tale!

The Way it really went down…

Three weeks earlier I start getting a feeling in my gut that I need to talk to Tony about joining the Navy, 2 years previous he wanted to join but I said give it a little time, take some college and go from there, that is what he did. Now was this gut feeling and I was like, “no way, he decided to become a cop…I’m good with that. Shut up devil and leave me alone!”

Then July 31st 2014 I get a text, “mom, can we talk tonight. It’s about my future and I have been praying and feel like I know what is next.” Or something to that effect. My response, “of course, I’ll be home around…” I get home and he is awake and ready to talk and kind of nervous. “Mom, I think it’s time I join the Military. I have been researching and talked to a recruit already and I want to join the Navy.” My response, “I know it is. I was supposed to talk to you about it weeks ago but I couldn’t. I’m really tired. I want to go to sleep.” And so he leaves and I CRY, CRY, CRY, CRY like I have never cried in my life. How can this be? I didn’t feel anything like this when we talked 2 years ago, or when WE decided he would become a cop, or ANYTIME! EVER! This pain is almost too much to bear! BUT, I have no idea what is coming next…

BOOTCAMP! YAY!!! I drive him to the place and leave him there and go to the mall for some shopping therapy (bought a cute handbag – it’s the only one I’ll use now).

Now starts the real fun! Contact with him is available all the way until he gets to the place. So in the airport we can talk, facetime, text, but then airplane – NOPE. His destination – NOPE! So, these are the last moments of contact before he is gone. Finally, I get a phone call, “Mom, I’m here, I’m safe. You’ll hear from me in a few weeks. I love you.” Me, “I love you too.” And then he is gone. That’s it…for weeks. Well, expect I get a box with his belongings in it. All his civilian stuff that he was wearing and carrying, including his phone! Which was kind of awesome, because he took pictures for me to see of his trip there, so I looked and cried and cried and looked and cried and cried and cried!

This is when it gets real…There is a joke about the Navy Moms phone never leaving her side. That is the truth. I was in church Praise and Worship with my phone in hand on vibrate lifted up to worship…I was leaving WHATEVER I was doing to answer a call if it said Waukegan, IL (that’s where the calls came from) and these calls could come whenever! Now, the greatest and worst part was the FB page for the moms of my sons PIR (graduation) date…when the calls started coming everyone FB that they received call on a private website…this is good until your son is the one that doesn’t get to call for whatever reason. So, everyone’s kid calls EXCEPT YOURS! WTF?? I don’t get it! Cry, cry, cry, sob, sob, sob…no bottle of wine is strong enough to take away that hurt…BUT THEN, a FB post and you are mentioned in it! It’s from a mom of a SR (they are not sailors yet so they are Sailor Recruits, I think) and her son said that if Kurtz mom is on FB let her know that he had watch and they let him call at a different time! YAY!!!! I kind of got my call BUT…now I wait some more!

So, here it was one year later and now he is out to sea and all of a sudden I am sucked back into keeping my phone on me at all times because no decent navy mom doesn’t have her phone attached to her body somewhere and ready to quick draw like a bad western movie.

That’s my holiday…I think I choose a cruise for Christmas…Please God let him be back in the barracks for Christmas and then boots in the house after that! No more surprises! Not these kind…I want him home!

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