The Diary of A Single Mom
3/1/16 at 10:09 AM 0 Comments

Questioning Your Parenting...?

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Every parent, I think, at one time or another questions their parenting at one point or another. And I think that’s healthy to a certain degree. I mean, if you never check yourself than you will never know if you are doing something wrong.

One way is if it makes you happy to spank your children, than you probably need to check yourself. When my boys were wayyyyyy younger, like 2 and 4 when I first starting spanking, because before that I didn’t necessarily think spanking was the right way to go, I was spanking my oldest and I had this actual grieving in my heart. I didn’t always have this. I used to control myself but secretly be thinking “you deserve this” I know that sounds mean but I’m just being honest. Now I didn’t lose control, spanking were administered very soundly.

1. Take them into the other room
2. Explain why they are getting spanked and make sure they understand. When they are young this is very simple, “You must obey Mommy”
3. Spank them with a paddle, I don’t believe in using your hand.
4. Hold them on your lap and rock them, you don’t even have to talk just love on them. This used to confuse me because I thought that this would teach them that doing something wrong would get them this attention but, a very wise woman (Allison – my mentor) explained that as long as I love my kids throughout the day, every day, they would not get confused. AND it worked.
5. Then I give them the words to say to teach them how to apologize. “Mommy, I’m sorry I did not obey you.” And I say, “I forgive you”.

This is kind of my direct “how-to’s” of spanking, the ‘don’t lose it’, way of doing it. No anger, no danger to children. You’re just parenting…not letting them do what you said they couldn’t do and get away with it. PERIOD.

I was mentored and soon figured out that if I just did what I said I was going to do there would not be a problem with anger…well, most times. Sometimes it’s still frustrating when you continuously spank for the same thing. With this consistency, our children will know that it is consistently wrong to do something or behave a certain way.

My son always loved Jurassic Park, like we went through 3 VHS tapes, because they would wear out. I didn’t let him veg in front of the t.v. but I did work and so the easiest way for my mom, the only person who babysat them, was to watch movies with them…and Jurassic Park was the movie!! Always!

Anyway…I learned that from this movie that the Velociraptor would keep testing the fence to find a weak spot…THIS was my boys! I think this movie taught them that too, as if being a kid wasn’t enough…learn from the movie! YES! And I thought it was a good movie…oops!

Do I question my parenting? Yes. Do I fight feeling like a failure? Yes. Why? I am not quite sure…but I will figure it out and post it…promise! What I do know is that I will keep fighting that feeling because it’s just a feeling and I know my boys love me and so far they seem to have turned out good. Walking in the right way, making mostly good decisions, and building their futures before looking for love in all the wrong places.

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