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Training for Sharing

Tue, Apr. 05, 2016 Posted: 09:38 AM


One of the things that I see that baffles me, is seeing adults who do not know how to share.

I do understand that there is a certain amount of respect that is held for things that we own and have spent money on. In this training scenario I taught my sons to not only share but to learn to respect what I have purchased for them. In other words, they had to also learn to be respectful of others things as they would want someone to respect their things.

This training scenario I found completely and totally necessary when I trained them to share their toys. At this point in our lives I was a full-time nanny to two other children where my job was to continue this same training that the mother was doing at night during the day. She didn’t want to put them in daycare and have everything that she was doing be undone daily so I stepped in and would train them along with mine, so I was training four kids ages 4, 3, 2, and 1 at this point. I do not exactly remember the ages but they are all 1 year a part so that’s what I have figured.

Training for sharing toys was very easy all I did was begin by just training my two on a weekend and they were in a room with their belongings playing while I was outside the door with a wooden spoon. There were some scenarios like answering where I took them in a separate room and spanked and then scenarios like this where I would hide outside the door and wait for the problem to happen and then quickly pop in the room and first teach them how they should respond. It went something like this, “No whining, no crying allowed. Let me show you what you do” I would get the toy and give it back to one and tell the other how to ask, “Can I play with that?” and the answer was always, “Yes” and hand it to him and then back again.

This is not as easy as it seems, as I am sure you can imagine. Children have this sense of when they give they NEVER get it back again so we have to show to them and prove to them that’s not how it is, they will get it back. Well, when I took this training ‘on the job’ with four children it was quite literally an all day training session. I hid outside the door and waited and then taught and each time after I hid and waited outside the door and at the onset of a sharing dilemma I quickly popped in with the spoon and did a quick ‘pop’ to each child that was acting and reacting and made them repeat the proper way to share and say, “please and thank you” as well. It was time consuming but really think about it…one day of training to teach a life lesson is not so bad. The tricky part was keeping the consistency of it throughout the years.

Now my children have their own rooms and they do not like when each one goes into the others’ room and although I allow the privacy to a point it is not a way of not sharing and quite honestly we don’t have that problem. They are quite amazing if I do say so myself.

Marianne Kurtz