Posted 9/15/16 at 9:06 AM | Marianne Kurtz
Life After Bulimia
I have written about insecurities but being in a constant state of insecurity regarding what I look like is a whole other story.
I know everyone deals with insecurity but, I can’t speak from their point of view. I can only speak from mine. One thing I could never understand is the saying: "You can’t love someone unless you love yourself"
I never agreed with this statement before because I know I can love…I love my kids, my friends, my family, and I think I have the ability to love without judging them. I never believed that I didn't have the ability to love just because I struggle with loving myself.
Then I started thinking how not loving yourself can hurt a relationship. Yep...I might be wrong about not agreeing with it...and now it's in writing...that I'm wrong. Oh NO!!!
When you're always looking at all the negatives within yourself then it's hard to imagine people seeing the positive. With family it's different because you know the unconditional love is there...at least in my family it is. My kids will love me unconditionally, my mom will and has loved me unconditionally no matter what I have done, my aunts, my uncles...they all love me unconditionally. But, someone outside the family...not so secure in that love. FULL POST
Posted 9/8/16 at 2:00 PM | Marianne Kurtz
It was in 1995 that I found myself a single parent of two children that I tried to have joy being around but they just did not listen to anything I said. My cry for help to God was one of utter frustration.
I knew when I was pregnant with my oldest son that although I was not in a place in my life where having a child was a great choice I knew two things: 1) He would never go to public school and 2) I would raise them in the way they should go even though I was nowhere near the right way to go.
At this point in my life I had no way of knowing how to achieve either of those two things and low and behold 3 years later I did not like even being around them very much because they seemed to ignore everything I said. If I said, “Pick up your toys” I would end up doing it and in my head I was showing them how, even though after three years of saying the same thing I couldn’t figure out how they possibly did not know how to do it themselves by now.
Not only was it the fact that they were not obedient at all but the fact that I knew there was no way I would be able to be home and school my children! How in the world was this ever going to happen? Well, I was not in the greatest place in my walk with God but I did know that He would come through and He did. FULL POST
Posted 9/7/16 at 8:00 PM | Trace Embry
There is little argument that our nation is in decline. However, many would debate why our nation is declining.
Although Bill O’Reilly of Fox News is not a parenting professional, he often attributes America’s decline to the disintegration of the traditional family. With children born out of wedlock, dads out of the picture, and a general lack of stability, it is no wonder he looks to the family as a cause.
I believe a starting point to a solid family structure is how seriously the parents take the influence of media on their family. Bill also discusses how horrendous music, entertainment and digital addictions are also contributing factors.
This stance isn’t popular, but I believe Bill is on to something. Our teens are feeding on American entertainment. It’s time for us as parents to take that seriously. FULL POST
Posted 9/7/16 at 7:52 PM | Trace Embry
Our world is busy. Our homes are busy. It’s easy for us as parents to get caught up in our important tasks. However, sometimes we overlook the fundamentals. Today, I’d like to outline two things that you can address to turn your home around.
First, learn to tell your child “no.” Too many parents are afraid of losing the approval or favor of their child by saying “no.” For as long as I’ve worked with troubled teens I’ve learned that virtually no child really hates their parent for saying “no” – even when they tell them they do.
Children are very good at over-reacting and making emotional statements. Even teens have several years left to fully develop emotionally.
Stick to what you know is right, address disrespect with discipline. Continue despite your teen’s reaction to the word no. Even while your teen is saying “I hate you” their spirit is loving and respecting you deeper. FULL POST
Posted 9/7/16 at 7:47 PM | Trace Embry
Whether planning a romantic evening out, or just some time in town, many parents often hire a babysitter to take care of their children. But, in today’s culture, can you trust your babysitter?
Babysitting isn’t the exact experience it used to be. There can be regulations in place that make hiring a sitter on-par with hiring other professionals.
All kidding aside; when considering a babysitter, you really do need to check on the requirements of your state. Also, never hire someone you do not trust. Make sure that you know more about your sitter than just the name on their resume.
Check your prospective baby sitter’s social media accounts. Don’t assume you don’t have to check the accounts of your sitter if they are family. A good sign that your sitter isn’t a good fit is a refusal to accept your friend request on a ‘private’ account. FULL POST
Posted 8/30/16 at 6:57 PM | Robert Hoffman
The majority of parents with children under three are often faced with the dilemma of whether or not to enroll their children in preschool. It is often difficult for both the child and parent to let go. Is it the appropriate place for the child, or is it going to make her or him feel abandoned by dad and mom? In many countries such as Germany and United States, Preschool is not compulsory. However, many parents (80% of parents in Germany for instance) prefer to send their children to preschool. Well, there are a number of preschool advantages that every parent ought to have in their mind.
Learning with and from one another
Children from various age groups are usually combined into a single group. Each child has different abilities and talents; culture, heritage, or religion may vary too. All these differences are important bases for learning. Children learn consciously through observation, repetition and imitation. Therefore, each child learns from his peers and develops his abilities and social skills as well as knowledge, which often spawns positive emotions. FULL POST
Posted 8/24/16 at 2:01 PM | Trace Embry
The secret to imparting character into your child may be right under your nose: chores. Chores are crucial. In fact, it is so crucial it may be the secret to raising a perfect teen.
Chores play an important role in your child’s success. However, many parents miss this. Instead, they dread asking their teens to do things around the house. Unfortunately some parents, as well as their children, consider many of these tasks to be “beneath them” or drudgery.
Rather than thinking of chores as drudgery, wouldn’t it benefit our children to see these tasks as preparation for the real world?
Cleaning windows, scrubbing soap scum from around sinks and faucets, and cleaning toilets are all jobs that require a degree of drudgery. According to Oswald Chambers: “Drudgery is the touchstone of character.” FULL POST
Posted 8/18/16 at 3:47 PM | Marianne Kurtz
Does your son or daughter always has to talk when you talk with someone or get your attention the moment you get on the phone? I have not met a parent yet that has not had to train their child to stop doing this. Something about being the center of attention to a child seems almost innate. I'm not sure the childish logic of this continuous action but I am sure how to train for it.
Everyone's child has some special talent that mommy is so proud of and she just wants everyone to see what her kid can do, "Come here Tommy and show so and so how you sing that song or dance or sing and dance" whatever the case may be. Well, now little Tommy is the center of attention and WOW does he like it and he really is pretty cute and maybe even sings and dances just perfect but...!
But have we as the loving parents who just want our kids talent to be seen just created a monster? The answer is that it doesn't have to be that way. You can train your child that even though you might have brought attention to them for a moment in giving them the "stage" to show what they can do it was and always should be to give the glory to God because He gives the talent. AND...that doesn't mean they will always be the center of attention. FULL POST
Posted 8/9/16 at 10:36 AM | Marianne Kurtz
It's easy to say what you believe in behind closed doors but what about when you are out in public. As the world gets louder about what they believe in it's time that Christians and parents who believe in spanking, (not beating their kids) controlled discipline, speak up for what the Bible says.
Too many opinions about it not being the correct way to discipline! It is the Christian way and IT does work when consistent and not done in anger. As Christians we cannot just sit back and watch the world tell us how to raise our children when the answer lies in the Word not the world.
The problem has been not being consistent which in turn leads to anger in discipline and that is where the problem begins because then you get mad and see red. Don't beat them down with words or an object or your hands, Train them up in peace, love and the rod of correct - I call this my paddle! ! It is better to walk away and take a breather from any situation if you are angry and get over it before dealing with it...disciplining children should be no different. Walk away for a moment; don't keep saying stupid stuff and expect things to not blow up in your face. Take a moment, get over it, think reasonably and then deal with it in peace. If you spank in anger you impart anger; spank in peace and surety that you know "Spare the Rod..." then you impart peace. It works!
Posted 7/25/16 at 11:19 AM | Marianne Kurtz
The Frustration of Insecurities!
Insecurity can come in many different forms but being insecure about people loving you is possibly the bottom line.
I remember back to the days when I believed what people told me, the words “I love you” had meaning and a purity to it. Now, I’m not sure if it’s just the years of hearing people say it and then leave that same love behind for the smallest reasons (sometimes also in the name of love) or if those words are just thrown around like its nothing. Kind of funny that I used to think it was such a special sentence to hear and now it’s just a phrase “Luv ya”, “love ya”, I heart you, however you say it…and I am guilty too. I have definitely said it too prematurely but I feel like I’ve finally learned not to throw it around like it is just a phrase.
Fast forward 20 years and I even doubt my kids love me…why is that? I know they do…that’s how ridiculous it is. Insecurity: lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt FULL POST