Posted 4/26/16 at 7:55 PM | Trace Embry
How can you position your teen for success?
You may be surprised at the many unique ways you can position your teen for success.
There used to be a day when something would break in your home and your dad could fix it.
And if dad couldn’t fix it, then the neighbor could.
Today, however, it’s easier to buy something new or hire a repairman.
Fixing things together with your teen is actually a tool for building relationships and teachable moments.
Parents, while your child is still young help him discover his interests and talents.
It just may be that honing a trade may position your teen for success instead of four years of college. Especially in today’s computer age there are tremendous opportunities for success and personal satisfaction in the trades. FULL POST
Posted 4/25/16 at 8:15 AM | Marianne Kurtz
Communication is Key as well…
One of the main things I always say is that consistency is key and it is true, consistency is key but, communication is key as well.
A friend of mine asked that I write about this.
My sons and I have always had great communication. From when they were small, I tried to teach them to not be afraid to communicate. I’m not talking about sharing emotions and that type thing. What I mean is this…
When my oldest was about 14 or maybe 15 I had an amazing discovery happen. It was a typical day at work and my coworker was getting married soon and was reading this book, I do not know the name, and was telling me about this part in the book where the author said that a man and a woman can be staring at like a doorknob and the woman has the potential to be thinking about a million things, but the man has the potential to be thinking about nothing at all. My coworker continued to talk about the book but I was stuck. “What do you mean?” I asked. “A guy could be thinking about nothing? How is it possible to not think about a thing?” I could not believe it. All of a sudden I saw the look on my sons face every time I would ask him if something was wrong because he was staring at something. To me, that meant he was thinking about something that was bothering him. That’s what it would have been to me… “Maybe I should I do this, or that, or I wonder if I should change around the furniture in the other room”… get it? Just always thinking something. I was flabbergasted! FULL POST
Posted 4/19/16 at 7:54 PM | Trace Embry
The problem of self-injurious behavior in the lives of our teens is a tough topic to discuss.
Millions claim cutting themselves relieves their pain.
What pain? It’s the pain that comes from the chaos and insecurity of a life without boundaries and no one to enforce them.
In general, kids who cut on themselves are most often those who’ve been exposed to, and engaged in, excessive sinful activity without intervention.
My theory is that today’s teenagers who struggle with cutting themselves are trying to, without being cognitively aware of it, atone for their own sin. All they know is that their own shed blood makes things feel better.
Teenage cutting and self-injurious behavior is an epidemic today!
This ought to tell us that something is radically wrong with our entire culture.
If cutting is an issue with your child, seek help! Without being accusatory, assure your child that Jesus Christ has already shed His blood for the sins of the whole world–including all of theirs. FULL POST
Posted 4/19/16 at 11:10 AM | Marianne Kurtz
I don't think it's a mid life crisis. I think it's more like my kids are grown and I have no idea who I am again. This is where the whole "as I find myself came from" except it was because I was finding myself as they were growing. Then I found it very different once tony left and I had the son home that has more of the part of me that likes to be alone...so I found myself alone! Like...really alone!
Day in and day out. Alone.
No one to talk to but my dog. Then I have to find myself again. So, if you have the money you maybe buy a new car, or a woman might get a boob job...because what did we do with time before we had families and were so busy we couldn't see past one day! Now those same days that we grew into as teenagers and young adults, we are left with as 40-50 years olds with no clue how to fill our days! I spent many many days doing yoga and getting very concerned that I stretch very specific muscles. This is just my thoughts on its opportunity not midlife crisis But it took me a while to see that!
Posted 4/11/16 at 10:00 AM | Marianne Kurtz
I feel like a new journey is beginning beginning of a new adventure. A new and improved time with God, a new and improved time with family, and a new and improved time of friendship. I go to bed at night and can't wait to get up in the morning and it's not because things changed around me. But is changed inside. From a conversation I had with my son about me wanting to be married. It's a personal conversation but I'm going to share it because it made me see something In me that only his truth could let me see.
Posted 4/5/16 at 9:38 AM | Marianne Kurtz
One of the things that I see that baffles me, is seeing adults who do not know how to share.
I do understand that there is a certain amount of respect that is held for things that we own and have spent money on. In this training scenario I taught my sons to not only share but to learn to respect what I have purchased for them. In other words, they had to also learn to be respectful of others things as they would want someone to respect their things.
This training scenario I found completely and totally necessary when I trained them to share their toys. At this point in our lives I was a full-time nanny to two other children where my job was to continue this same training that the mother was doing at night during the day. She didn’t want to put them in daycare and have everything that she was doing be undone daily so I stepped in and would train them along with mine, so I was training four kids ages 4, 3, 2, and 1 at this point. I do not exactly remember the ages but they are all 1 year a part so that’s what I have figured. FULL POST
Posted 3/29/16 at 11:48 AM | Marianne Kurtz
By definition a contract is a binding agreement between parties.
As my children were growing in their obedience and I was growing in my patience, there were several times when I felt a contract would help there be cooperation between the three of us. I can't believe I'm going to tell on myself like this...honest and real!
The first time I did this was when they became old enough to understand, which was just a few years after I first started disciplining them. I can only tell about this if I tell the whole story, so here it is...
As I have said in earlier blogs or maybe in my book that is coming out (I honestly don't recall) but I was not raised the way I ended up raising my boys. My parents just did not have a revelation of "Spare the rod, spoil the child" like I did. I mean they spanked us but a lot of times they were pretty upset. Don't get me wrong they did by no means beat my brother and I. Continuing my story...I had a pretty bad temper and when I would forget to be consistent I would sometimes lose my temper; this did not mean I beat my children, it just means it wasn't the right way (see my blog on "Impart Peace, Not Anger"). FULL POST
Posted 3/22/16 at 11:22 AM | Marianne Kurtz
I must say one of the things that was very challenging for me through the years was consistency. It is challenging to stay consistent in a lot of things in life...exercise, cooking (that might just be me), etc...you get the idea. There were many times throughout training that I would find myself saying over and over "If you do that again I am going to spank you" and next thing you know I am in anger and would be tempted to think 'it's not working'.
Now, I'm not sure if you are reading this because you already spank your children and just need encouragement or if you were like me and took the opposite approach in the beginning and then realized that spanking is the resolve that God intended. Spare the rod spoil the child. I, of course, can only speak of the latter which means that I would get frustrated because I seemed to say "I'm going to spank you if you do that again" instead of just spanking. The bottom line is they already know what is expected and our lovely children are just still going to try to get us to do things their way. It is much less frustrating and much more beneficial to our children to simply spank each and every time because they really do know what is right and wrong. FULL POST
Posted 3/15/16 at 11:54 AM | Marianne Kurtz
Dating and SVU
Some of you may not know what SVU is but it is literally my favorite tv show. Law and Order Special Victims Unit, yep and now the theme is stuck in your head if you’re a fan.
Here’s the thing…when you have watched as much of that as I have EVERY situation feels like a potential SVU moment. I actually have them often and it’s kind of fun to think how a piece of paper may have fallen of your car and then a crime happened after and that paper lead to my finger print and the SVU department comes knocking on my door! WHAT?? Just saying…that would be just a little fun…in retrospect, of course.
What isn’t fun is when you enter into a dating situation that is very much like an SVU moment. Here was mine…I went to meet with some people at a house and I was going to be pretty late but when I showed up there was only 2 guys and me! What?? Ummmmmmmm. So I sit down and immediately text my friend the address to where I am at and just send a text hey, I’m out with some people…here is my address. OK…smart, right? Yep. FULL POST