Relationships

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Posted 4/29/15 at 11:53 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Getting to Deeper Levels of Communication

It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! And today I want to talk about how to really get to know each other and stay close–even once you’re married. And it all starts with intentionally getting to deeper levels of communication.

Recently a reader from New Zealand sent me this question:

We have only been married just over a year and really loving it. I’ve noticed in some of your recent posts you’ve been covering when she doesn’t wanna and when he doesn’t wanna. This isn’t really applicable to us thanks to a great start to marriage (through God’s grace). But it’s making me wonder if all couples go through a season/period of distance with one another? If it is inevitable I’d really like some pointers from how to approach it from our end, from the beginning. How to spot it, when to have those conversations, when to get help, any prevention strategies etc. Because I’d like to continue having an awesome marriage and although I know we will (and have) face ups and downs, I’d like to have the best go at it that we possibly can. FULL POST

Posted 4/28/15 at 5:01 AM | selwyn perry

Her grave

Her grave is on the hillside where she lays
Among the trees and flowers and natures ways:
Of Summer, Autumn, winter, spring,
And all that natures made to bring.

I sometimes stand there by her grave
And think of lives we tried to save;
Our baby boy, a few months old
Who lies with her in that ground so
Cold.

He brought us joy and sorrow, both,
But must have known this world is loathe
To keep a treasure so divine,
So pure and loving, and so fine.

I know, of course, that they both sleep,
Like winter’s snow lies thick and deep;
Unseen, then life beneath begins to wake,
Rising from sleep, its life, death cannot take.

Posted 4/27/15 at 2:46 PM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Men, When Your Wife Worries Give Her Your Understanding, Not Your Frustration

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

April 27, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

iStock

Tip 53: Men, When Your Wife Worries Give Her Your Understanding, Not Your Frustration

Guys, I know this is a huge shocker, but…. women’s brains are wired differently than men’s. I know there are times when you as a husband probably feel completely baffled by your wife’s thoughts and actions. One man recently shared with me that he didn’t understand why his wife worried so much about all sorts of things; it made him feel like she didn’t trust him. FULL POST

Posted 4/25/15 at 8:05 AM | selwyn perry

Time

TIME
I think I'll leave the pots tonight,
Why?
Because I'm not a machine,
I don't want to be a clockwork thing,
Wound up in the morning
And run down at night,
Sleeping in a bed of dreams
Where nothing is what it seems or means,
Phantoms of spirit free to roam
That make my waking thoughts
Cling to wings, waking to the time of day
When I may no longer play
But like a clock keep time, and be on time;
Such a ticking and moving in motion
In an out, roundabout, fast or slow,
Measured woe like a piston on the go.
I'll leave the pots tonight and let them
Wait for me; perhaps I'll then be free.
But can I really do without a clock, tic
Toc, tic toc, letting me know when to sew
And reap, when to wake and when to sleep?
To do away with time! And like a nursery rhyme
Never be on time; would I then be free
Without a clock to bother me?
What after all is time but the son's bright light
And the earth's dark night,
The moons bright face, and the stars milky haze.
Why not let time stay where it is in the sun
And moon, 'To divide the day from the night,
And for seasons and for light?'
(Genesis 1:14)

Posted 4/24/15 at 2:21 PM | Ron Edmondson

7 Things You May Not Know But Need to Know about Your Husband

I recently wrote a post about 7 things you may not know about your wife. It was a popular post and I committed to write a companion post for the wives.

Here are 7 things wives need to know — but may not know — about your husband:

His ego is more fragile than you imagined. I know, you’re probably tired of hearing about the male ego. I get it. But, it hasn’t gone away and, frankly, the world isn’t too kind on our ego. We see the jokes on every sitcom and commercial about how inadequate we are at times. But, there’s not a man with a soul that’s alive that doesn’t want to be admired by the woman in his life. Not one.

He is very visual. Very. More than you are probably thinking. You see his eyes roam. That’s a natural reaction for him. He doesn’t have to work on it. Now he has responsibility over his eyes — not the girl who attracted them — but if there’s a pretty girl around, he probably saw her long before you did. And, he likely battles staring more than you will ever understand. FULL POST

Posted 4/22/15 at 10:43 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Help! Why Is It So Hard to Connect With My Spouse?

It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! And today I want to talk about the heart of marriage: connection. We get married because we want to feel this deep connection to someone, and yet too often, years go by and we feel like we’re just drifting. What happened?

Pastor and life coach Chuck Taylor has written a fun and easy-to-follow book called The Connection Principle, which outlines three communication tools for getting what you want in your marriage. It’s part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle, which is on sale until April 27, and I really enjoyed reading it!

I talk a lot about how to be giving in marriage on this blog: How to love your husband, think about his needs, and do the right thing. FULL POST

Posted 4/21/15 at 11:43 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Removing Toxic People

You have to get to the point that you're able to recognize the people in your life who are draining you. You can't focus when you're drained. You can't achieve your goals or even complete your daily tasks if you're drained.

It may be friends or family. As long as the person isn't your dependent, you can cut them off. Some people believe that you can't cut off family. I disagree. Why should I let you stress me to my grave just because you're family? The fact that they are family should mean they are trying to make your life better. If someone is making your days worse, they aren't family. They are enemies disguised as family. A stranger shouldn't treat you better than your family does.

Don't get trapped thinking that you can't move on with your life just because you've known someone all your life.

I refuse to be held back in the name of family. I refuse to be stressed to death in the name of family. I refused to be verbal and emotionally abused in the name of family. If you are adding stress to my life, you aren't family. You're no better than an adversary. FULL POST

Posted 4/13/15 at 11:41 AM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Choose What Type of Couple You Want to Be.

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

April 13, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Photo Credit: seanmcgrath via Compfight cc


Tip #52: Choose what type of couple you want to be.

One night recently, I had to stop everything, and write something down. Because it was far, far too important to forget – and provides a key tip for marriages. FULL POST

Posted 4/9/15 at 8:53 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Message to the Ladies: Why He Won't Commit

I received a question from a young lady who is waiting on her man to marry her. It's been a few years and she's wondering when will the proposal come.

That's a scary place to be in. You have to decide your own timeline because there are too many examples of good and bad turnouts to count statistics. I know people who have been together for over 30 years and never got married. I also know people who were together 5-10 years before they got married. I know people who were together 10 years and broke up without ever getting married.

Weigh the pro's and cons. The only benefit to long-term dating is that you get to know a person really well. The cons are endless. You can have a baby out of wedlock and have no real stability. You can have a baby and then get left and have no real stability. You can give years of your life and still not a get a ring. You can give years of your life and then get left for someone else. You can give years of your life and then get cheated on and have to watch someone else have a baby from your man before you get a ring. All of those things happen every day. You have to ask yourself is it worth it? FULL POST

Posted 4/6/15 at 3:14 PM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Men: If you want more sex, give her better anticipation time

Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

April 6, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Image credit: "The smile that would make you happy." by Lara Cores is licensed under

Tip 52: Men: If you want more sex, give her better anticipation time FULL POST

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