Relationships

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Posted 9/22/15 at 7:47 AM | Veronica Philips

Each One Teach One...

Deaf are the Ears that wears the Crown.
Ya know, it wasn’t the Gay Pride Parades, the Rainbows, or the talk shows that changed my mind. It wasn’t the books, the Christian Pastors, nor the Media….that made me take a second look and then change my stance on Gay Marriage. For all that there was going on in society at the time, from the Aides epidemic of the 80’s to the Civil Union struggles of this decade, I maintained the Christian Authority that Homosexuality was WRONG…and I took the moral high road that, “I’ll be your friend, but I won’t support your life”. I couldn’t have been more arrogant if I had wore a crown. In the end, it was one person. One small, (not so quite) person who shared with me her story of humiliation, and any moral Superiority I had felt before went out the window. I realized that Jesus may not have encountered a gay man (Gosh I wish He had of), but the Bible is CLEAR in what we must do….. we must LOVE…..DUH. Except….we’re not going to talk about THAT….:)
How I changed from my Saulian stance toward the Homosexual Community to the Liberal, Left-leaning jerk I am today is nothing extraordinary. The woman I call friend, share me the tale of the day she was brutally outted, then ousted from a Sunday Service. It pissed me off. In hindsight, I marveled at how one person, brought down my Goliath Stronghold. Then I realized that that’s how we change the world. You don’t have to agree with my ideals, I actually don’t care, but the way to change society is to change one person, and that journey that begins with one set of willing ears. I may not clearly understand the Lord’s Will or Stance on Homosexuality but I know what it ISN’T. Shoving the graphic pictures, name calling, political ads, the AM radio DJ’s vying for listenership, the pomp and circumstance of Pastors….NONE of that is going to change a mind. You can show all the graphic ads of animal abuse you want (If you do, I will delete you), but if all your friends are anit-animal abusers…you will reach, and change…no one. Change comes from the heart, but it must first go through the ears, and that starts with the mouth. Each one, teach one…that’s how you bring change….and THAT is how I end this status. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.

Posted 9/15/15 at 8:33 AM | Veronica Philips

If the Devil is in the Details, Whose in the Forest?

If you’re in the middle of the forest, and a tree falls, does it make a sound? Hell you don’t know, you’re too busy trying to find the way out! In the middle of College Algebra last night, Merrill, thinker of all things smart, got up and left me, to watch the MNF game. Can’t judge him….I’ve done the same thing to him with English. I like a good challenge as much as anyone else. I was lost in a maze of numbers that he understood, but I kept saying, “I do it”….forget him, but I NEED him…Darn it.
The Devil is in the Details, or in this case, the forest (my math). Pride sets in when we realize we’re lost, but instead of trusting our rescuers, we decline their help. When he got to heaven, the man said to Jesus, “I trusted you, and I died!” Jesus responded, “I sent you a boat, plane and helicopter, what else did you need?” I get it, we all do it….. It’s hard to see the path out when we have blinders on. I hate that part about our nature, but Satan doesn’t. He sees our pride, raises it with panic, then bets us to keep wandering….keep roaming, when the whole time…the WHOLE time, guides were standing by. Seriously friends, I cannot say to Merrill, “I need you to discipline the boy” then get mad at him when he disciplines him. Trust only goes as far as we allow it. In the Forest, it’s dark and scary, yet we do walk with those whose gone before us, a Woodsy Waze, if you will, our rescue comes from our relinquishment of control…it hurts, but death hurts more….It’s funny how we say to God, “I just need a Word”, He says, “Trust” and we say, “I’m gonna need another Word”.
At an Oldsmobile Leadership Conference, a team building exercise was for us to chose a leader, then blindfold ourselves. We had to trust that the leader would lead us around the obstacles, to the final victory. Those who didn’t trust, hesitated and fell back, those who semi-trusted walked around with their hand out…then there were those who said, “I can’t do any better with this blinder on” and made it to the end….they were then sent back to help the roamers……get it? We have trusted advisors, friends, other family that we can lean on…hold to…follow…to do what’s in our best interest….but we don’t…..because we can’t, and we can’t because pride and fear, two emotions that do NOT come from the Lord, block our view.
What it really boils down to is, do you…or don’t you? Do you trust them or NO? It really IS that black and white. Telling my husband, “I’m going to do this and this and this, you get this little, bitty part of raising YOUR children” is neither productive, fair, righteous, nor complimentary to our partnership. When you’re in too deep, you must trust others to guide you through. Their sight…is far better….than yours. There may come a day, when you’ll lead them out of their forest as well. Okay, gotta go. There’s a MATH mess on the table. Did ya see the tomato’s I canned last night? Yep….didn’t use MATH….FREAKING once….how do you like them Pie’s? Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Tuesday.

Posted 9/12/15 at 8:23 AM | Veronica Philips

I'm An Ozarks Girls...

Merrill and I were in the garden picking green beans earlier this week. In the Winter, spaghetti with our canned tomato sauce, green beans, and his homemade salsa are staples in this house. “Something’s in this garden” he said, while being very cautious. Neither one of us fear snakes, but we don’t engage them either. Peter Cottontail had been trapped in there, a few days earlier, so it was natural that I had brushed off his fear with a “Wussy” and moved on. Thursday, we found out, that what was stalking the garden was indeed not a snake or rabbit, but the largest Jeremiah Bull Frog I had ever seen. Looking up at my mother and I with the largest Irish eyes I had ever seen, he begged us to move on and forget we ever saw him. “ I felt sorry for him” was the response I gave to an insensitive individual, after asking me why I didn’t eat him. Finding out I’m an Ozarks girl, he replied, “You’ve betrayed your people….That’s good eatin’ right there”…..
It took me years to embrace my roots as an Ozark girl. We are not the toothless, stupid, poor, uneducated, God Fearing Bible Thumpers that Hollywood has made us out to be. We do have running water, indoor bathrooms, our children do not drink Coke from the bottle, and no, we do not marry our brothers/sisters. The true Ozarkian folk are kind, hard working people, whom will give you the very shirt off their backs. They have an amazing BS Meter for all things nefarious, and be stupid enough to get on the bad side of one, you might as well pack up and leave. Yes, hunting, fishing, Nascar, and Friday Night Football is required for membership, but we’ll welcome you to any event that requires a Miller Light as a cover charge. In the Ozarks, meat is fresher when caught and killed yourself, and while I have CHOSEN not to hunt/forage for my own food, I don’t judge those who do….Many of my Brethren are card carrying members of the 2nd Amendment Right to Arm Deer but that’s only because roaming, fire-arm carrying, deer are a better sport. Come November 1, every pastor in the State, knows to lock up the building and take it to the Stand….The Deer Stand, and while we’re on the subject of Faith, Ozarkian folk are religious, so I suppose Hollywood did get that right, we are the God Fearing Bible Thumpers I attempted to disclaim earlier. Ozarkian Folk, closely adhere to the standard of “Doing unto others” but if you screw them over…well…we don’t bother the police with petty issues….know what I mean Vern?
Ozarkian folk have hearts of gold, and they’re full of Grace, but never mistake their Grace for Weakness, nor stupidity. I’ve learned more, from the Mama on the Porch, than I’ll ever glean in a classroom of babies…..Life…that the Ozarkian folk live to it’s fullest abounds in my beautiful neck of the woods. Charity begins at home, not the Capital. If you have something that needs building, fixing, or wrangled, simply call your buddy, then sit back and watch the wave of good folk drive up in pickups with beer, so yes, I’m ashamed to admit that for so long I fought with where I came from, but after canning several quarts of tomato juice last night, I realized that you can take the girl out of the Ozarks, but you can’t take the Ozarks out of the girl….Hmm….it’s not so bad…..Okay, gotta go. It’s going to be hunting season soon, and I gotta clean my gun. I don’t have a gun, but in the Ozarks, that’s not a problem….I love my people. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Saturday.

Posted 9/10/15 at 9:13 AM | Veronica Philips

From Me....to You!

Being an older woman, I have more fun engaging the babies than almost anything else in life. By older I mean I can still kick your booty, I just want to less….I find that I have more tolerance for all things nefarious, and unnecessary, and less tolerance for all things stupid…I do not suffer fools easily. I cringe inside….and just BEG…people to ask me my opinion….they almost never do….so in true obnoxious fashion, I’m gonna go ahead and list some things I’ve learned about being an older woman.
1. It’s easier and cheaper to say “I’m sorry” than come up with bail. I mean it hurts the pride more and what not, but in the end, an assault conviction helps no one…
2. Posting Meme’s on FB about who will be sad if you died, is desperate. Your friends and family love you very, very, very much. Do not test them on this.
3. The Northwest football team has a saying, “That’s alright, that’s okay, you’ll be working for US one day”….Karma is amazing. Be deliberate about your actions….for the toes you step on today, will be attached to the butt you kiss tomorrow.
4. Please don’t take offense if I giggle at you. I know your future. Listen to me….I know where the shortcuts are.
5. But if you don’t heed my advice, that’s okay too. We didn’t listen to our parents either. Just know that as long as you awaken the next day, there’s always an opportunity to mend an error.
6. The Borrower is Slave to the Lender…..enough said.
7. Never make decisions in duress. Take a step back, look at it, think about it, and sleep on it….
8. Your teacher really doesn’t hate you. She cares, she’s just not kissing your butt and taking your crap. Do you honestly think she’s in that low paying, less appreciate job so that she can make your life hell? She can get a drink AND get mugged by a rapid DOG and have more satisfaction.
9. Finally, bullies only make you stronger…never give up…never give in…..
Okay, gotta go. In truth, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with your future self. There will come a day, when you’ll look back and think, “MAN there must be a GOD”…..There is….trust me on this. Enjoy this day…for This is the Day…..you’ll realize that too one day…..Oh….and Youth is wasted on the young….SMH. Go make your mark on the world today. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

Posted 9/1/15 at 10:53 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Standards vs Preferences

Standards are your morals and values.

Preferences are the things you'd like your partner to have or be.

Standards matter the most, but it's our preferences that keep us single for too long. Does the person who is interested in you have the morals and values that you're looking for in a partner? If so, then everything else can be worked on.

You may never find someone who meets all your preferences in the height, weight, looks, and income departments. You really need to take off all numbers off of your list and focus on the things that really matter. When you remove the numbers from your list then you're able to see a person for who they really are and start there. As long as you can stand to look at them, they're ok. They don't have to be the best looking person in the world, but are they at least OK? My wife doesn't feel like the most beautiful woman on Earth and I'm sure not the best looking, but we could stand to look at one another. Our morals and values matched and we worked from there. FULL POST

Posted 9/1/15 at 7:54 AM | Janice Canary

Should Christian's Online Date?

Religion has found its way into all the aspects of our life and for good I might add. Dating is just another industry and modern reglion has taken the responsibility of finding love for you in their hands with the help of algorithms and the internet. You might be reluctant to let a machine decide your future partner but take comfort in the fact that most people always are…. Until they try it. If you still do not trust it, then let’s just show science and the “internet people” some love and appreciate their effort, shall we?

Getting To Know YOU

So these scientists have also researched, studied and calculated the ideal time two daters should consider meeting each other in person after "hitting it off" online. Multiple universities have come up with different reports, but the winning study says this: ‘when Online Dating Partners Meet Offline: The Effect of Modality Switching On Relational Communications Between Online Daters’ tries to find a simple answer to the age-old question: how soon should you arrange a date with someone you’ve met online in order to have the best chance of hitting it off. FULL POST

Posted 8/27/15 at 8:34 AM | Veronica Philips

Relax. I Only Asked For The Salt....

My Publicist tells me yesterday, “Oh, I don’t make people mad?”; which wasn’t her exact phraseology, but I post on another site, so I have to keep it clean now....I digress. “No you don’t, not like I do”, I countered…..without skipping a beat, she retorted, “Um, I’ve make PLENTY of people mad in this town, you have no idea what I’ve done”. Um, that may be WHY I’m not getting any work…..see when birds of a feather, flock together, it needs to be understood that there is only ONE person at a time, stepping on toes; otherwise, whose going to be the band aid supplier when people get hurt?
There are WAY too many Type A personalities in this town. There’s an old joke that when women get together they “sync”…I wonder what would happen if we all had a meeting, a convention of NOW personalities then set lose on the town? Honestly, I’d like to see that…bunch of strong opinionated women going around being bossy, and confident, telling people like it is, but in the end, if we’re all bossy, whose going to do the work….and THAT my friends, is the point of my status today.
I watched a man and a woman in a grocery store yesterday. The man asked his companion to reach for something, as he clearly did not want to get in her way. Her response was to tell him, “Get it yourself. I’m not here for your every beck and call” (NOTE: I cleaned it up a bit) I giggled at this, because all he wanted was some salt. Jiminy Cricket woman, he didn’t ask you to sex him up…he just wanted some minerals.
Listen ladies, I get that we’re all ticked off at Eve for being stupid, but seriously, there is nothing wrong, with being a partner in any relationship, be it married or friends. I have no problem exercising my gift as a servant to improve or better the life of another being on this earth. I get so aggravated to see others, in the Sisterhood, with their, “I dare you ” badge never realizing that it’s a strength, and BLESSING to put aside self, to further someone else. Does this mean that we need to bow down and let a man be the star? HECK NO….I’m the only star here (smile), but seriously, as much as I fight him, I KNOW that I am a partner with Merrill, and we work toward the same goal......to not kill each other, then the babies. Things are much easier, and more blessed when one has a team mate, a partner, a soul maker….not reaching for the salt, because you THINK it makes you look weak……DOES MAKE YOU LOOK WEAK……ahh the beautiful ironies of life. I was so tempted to push past her, and get the salt for him myself, but I didn’t have the time to fight….oh had I just an extra ten minutes…...
It is true that God called us to be with Adam, not behind Adam, not in front of Adam. It stresses my soul to think that some men believe that a woman submitting means a woman servant….that wasn’t the intent. Seriously, how many men have figured out that to force a woman to submit means he’ll never sleep again? We are equals, partners, joint heirs….salt or no….God calls us to Submit to EACH OTHER…so that we can accomplish His Will, on Earth, as it is in Heaven….Amen. Okay, gotta go. We may be equals, but ONE is more equal than another in this house, and I gotta get babies up, breakfast, school, then work myself…..his lazy butt is in bed….but it do it for them….and him…because I LOVE them….To Love IS to be BLESSED…YOU Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Thursday.

Posted 8/26/15 at 8:50 AM | Veronica Philips

A Bridge Burned, is an Escape Route Destroyed!

Merrill and I were sitting in our office yesterday, just minding our own business, when a very powerful man walked in the door. I’m kinda a big deal in this town and he made ME feel small….LOL, I know all the movers and shakers….. I mean, I KNEW who this gentlemen was, AND I also KNOW that most of the famous in this town want to just be left alone, to wallow in their fame, but he was a nice guy, he was in public….and I had a question. … Hey, if you’re out in public, you’re fair game…that’s what I always say, and besides, I needed to know if there was any truth to the rumor that the Globetrotters were coming back in January….He was the man to answer that question.
First, the Globetrotters ARE coming back in January…that’s good to know. People (I do it too) become very leery when you call them by their given name. For example, here is one of Danville’s most Famous, and I just said, “Hey (so and so), Globetrotters coming back?”. Actually, it was a tad bit more polite than that, but it does lend some credence on what NOT to do in Danville, if one wants to further their career. Danville is a very small town relative to Chicago….LOL….relative to Champaign. We, in this small metropolis, are never more than three people away from either being related, or related. For example, if I wanted to have an affair in this town, I couldn’t because Merrill is KIN to everyone….so….I digress…quite a bit actually….my point is that in this small community one will eventually have an opportunity to meet and greet everyone; which will give one an opportunity make an impression…..good or bad….but whichever impression you chose to make, remember two truths.
1. One NEVER get a second chance to make a 1st impression.
2. Word travels fast in this town…just be prepared to live with the consequences of “your” choices.
The Executive Director of the Civic Center, unless you’re “ too big… to say… no to” (which I will be one day) gets to pick and chose the acts that go before the Arena. I question his decision to bring in Slaughter (Slaughter?), but loved his decision to bring in Chesney….The ultimate point is that HE GETS TO CHOSE, so if you’re going to be an act….a small act….and you want to be a complete jackwagon…..just know….you won’t be back, and in this business, YOU are going to need all the friends you can get. That’s why my Publicist is one of the most famous people in Danville…people like her, she hasn’t made anyone mad (that I know of), and she has a quality that I do not. Truth be told, if one were to get on the wrong side of someone in Danville, not only is the whole community going to know about it, but the community next to it will know, and the community next to that one will know too!….The Elvis Impersonator made the distinction of being the worse JERK in memory, and he will NEVER come back…EVER….Remember friends, a bridge burned is an escape route destroyed......unless you don’t care, then do whatever makes you happy ☺ Okay, gotta go….Kiddie Pool this morning, the water is cold and my Patience is too. I wonder if, down the road, I’ll need her, to further my career….better think on that….before I open my mouth. Be Blessed. Remember you set the Tone, you ARE the Example. BE KIND to each other. Show GRACE and MERCY to all those who cross your path today. With your Daily Affirmations complete, enjoy your Wednesday.

Posted 8/25/15 at 8:08 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Get Over the Little Stuff

Relationships are as hard as you make them. We can find so many things to be petty about and those things can ruin a relationship. If you want to argue, you don't want your relationship to work. You have to communicate, not argue. You can't argue about everything that crosses your mind. Pick your battles wisely. Make sure you have actual evidence and facts, not just speculation and opinions. Make sure the things you want to argue about aren't rooted in your insecurities or pain from your past.

I have a rule that says "if it's not worth breaking up over, it's not worth arguing over." You can discuss it like adults. You can disagree, but that shouldn't turn into an argument. Seek solutions, not more problems. Don't let your insecurities and pettiness ruin your relationship. Be man or woman enough to address things appropriately and to ignore things that don't deserve your attention.

Blessings,
Tony Gaskins Jr.

Posted 8/24/15 at 12:20 PM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Wives, Don’t Punish Your Husband For Being Visual

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

August 24, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Tip #57: Women, don’t punish your husband for being visual

I couldn’t believe it when I saw one wife’s comment about what she did when she found that her husband had been viewing pornography. Understandably shocked and hurt, she next did something I found hard to understand. She not only refused to have sex with him; she also put on 150 pounds. Just to make sure he got her point that viewing porn was not okay. FULL POST

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