Relationships

CP Blogs do not necessarily reflect the views of The Christian Post. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author(s).

Posted 7/6/15 at 2:38 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Marriage Advice: What Do You Do When Sex is Painful?

I get quite a few of these questions, and I understand. I went through it, too, as I talk about in The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex. But the questions still make me so sad for these women. Here’s one:

I was a virgin when I was married at 20, and we’ve been married for almost 6 years. I have a toddler and a little baby. I love my husband so much, but I am deeply struggling with our sex life. Before having our son we suffered with a miscarriage, and then struggled to get pregnant for almost a year and a half. Sex during our struggle with infertility really tainted the act for me. It wasn’t about a union or strengthening our marriage, it was like a business meeting. Then we continued to struggle with sex during the pregnancy due to nausea and fatigue. And then I had an extremely traumatic delivery. We nearly lost my son and I needed forceps to get him out. This caused my my vagina to tear all the way through. Now my baby is 6 months old, and sex is still painful. It makes me shake and cry and feel sick to my stomach. FULL POST

Posted 6/29/15 at 2:48 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices

When You Love Superman–But Clark Kent Drives You Nuts

Would you agree that God has a heart for marriage?

I would say yes.

But if God loves marriage so much, then why are so many marriages failing?

I can understand the celebrity who doesn’t profess Christ as her Savior or the Muslim woman who denies the deity of Christ.

But what about those of us who have been blood washed and profess to have a true relationship with Christ?

If anyone should have a great marriage, it should be Christians, right?

And I think one of the ways we can discover how to experience an excellent marriage is to consider first how we view our husbands.

The question is, when you look at and think about your husband, do you see him as Superman or Clark Kent?

Because how you view your husband will determine how much love, honor, and respect you give him on a consistent basis.

I Finally Found My Superman!

I want you to think back on the first time you met your husband and then your days of courtship. FULL POST

Posted 6/29/15 at 11:48 AM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Ladies, Showing Him That You Want Sex Is More Important Than How Much Sex You Have

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

June 29, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Tip #56: Women, signal that you want sex; that is more important than how often you’re having it.

Ladies, although there are certainly exceptions, we know men tend to think about sex more than we do. Most of us do care about intimacy, and we certainly want to fulfill that need for our husbands. But we also get tired, busy, and just don’t think about sex as often. And we may not realize that that this can convey a really discouraging message: You’re not desirable. FULL POST

Posted 6/23/15 at 2:28 PM | Christian Post Guest Voices

5 Ways to Defeat Insecurity in the Bedroom

You want a great sex life–but what do you if you’re still really shy being naked, or trying anything rather adventurous?

Many of us get into a “safe” rut in bed. We make love in one position which lets us feel intimate, but doesn’t allow for much exploring. Our hands don’t wander. The lights aren’t on. We just do the deed and we’re done!

But what if you want more? What if you want to experience real freedom with your husband, and feel even more intimate? Well, you’ve got to get over some of the roadblocks that can make you insecure! So let’s look at five common reasons that many of us would rather keep his face up near our face, and stop his hands from going too far:

1. What About Fat Rolls?

You secretly hate your body, and you’re pretty sure he must feel the same way. When you bend over you seem to have three stomachs. You have cellulite everywhere–even places that aren’t supposed to have cellulite. How could he possibly want to explore THAT when you’d rather not even look in the mirror? FULL POST

Posted 6/22/15 at 10:02 AM | Shaunti Feldhahn

Wives: Learn and relate to the man your husband is, not who you think he “should” be.

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

June 22, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Photo Credit: LyndaSanchez via Compfight cc

FULL POST

Posted 6/19/15 at 11:26 AM | Ron Edmondson

A Secret Your Husband Needs You to Know

Ladies, there’s a secret your husband probably won’t share.

He may not even like that I’m sharing it.

It’s not that he doesn’t want you to know. He does. But, it’s hard to admit sometimes. Or, difficult to find the right words.

But, I feel you need to know. It could make a huge difference in your marriage.

Here goes:

He needs your unconditional respect — in fact — he needs you to be his biggest fan.

There. The secret is out in the open.

It’s true. He needs to know you respect him — what he does and whom he is.

Your support feeds his God-given ego.

Of course, that ego can be abused. And, it is many times. It doesn’t, however, diminish his need. I would even say — his greatest need.

Just as you need his unconditional love, he needs your unconditional respect. (And vice-versa)

I also realize you nor he is capable of perfectly fulfilling those individual needs. FULL POST

Posted 6/3/15 at 11:07 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Top 10 Wedding Night Tips

I asked on my Facebook Page for readers to share their best wedding night tips, and they were awesome! Thank you. So here are the top ones mentioned, plus a few of my own I thought were important.

I’m writing this primarily for women who are virgins on their wedding nights and really don’t know what to expect. But even if you’re sexually experienced, everything is new once you’re married. And so read on–you may pick up some good tips, too!

1. Everything is better if you relax. So let things happen as they’re going to happen–don’t worry about expectations.

Everyone looks forward to the wedding night their whole life. But what people often forget to tell you is that the wedding night comes after the wedding DAY–which is likely the longest day of your life! You’ll be tired. You’ll be spent. And now you’re supposed to have this amazing night! FULL POST

Posted 5/19/15 at 11:25 AM | Ron Edmondson

5 Things Job’s Friends Teach Me About Being a True Friend

I’ve always been captivated by the friends of Job.

You remember Job. The man of suffering. He suffered the loss of everything.

Somewhere in the grief process his friends came. Start about Chapter 2. They provide a bulk of dialogue in the book.

We can learn a few things about how to be friends to those who are hurting from the friends of Job.

Here are 5 words to the friends of Job:

Thanks for showing up. Sometimes physical presence is the most comforting way to help someone grieve a loss. You came when it was uncomfortable to be a friend. That’s when a true friend is found. You even sat with him — apparently not even eating — for seven days. Thank you. Your witness is well-noted.

Speak truth. Not what everyone else is saying. Some in your culture believed that all suffering was the result of sin. We know that’s not true about Job. You said some things that sounded good. Culturally acceptable things. But it’s usually best not to provide commentary. Just say what is true. Nothing more. Sometimes that’s only stuff like, “Wow! You’re hurting. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m here for you!” FULL POST

Posted 5/19/15 at 10:55 AM | Christian Post Guest Voices

Top 10 Ways to Stop Being Too Tired to Have Sex

Ever just feel too tired for sex?

Most of us do at some point or other. And because for women are sex drives are primarily in our heads, when we’re too tired to concentrate on sex, our bodies often don’t get in the game. And then sex doesn’t work well.

One interesting study I came across found that 25% of people reported being too tired to have sex.

That doesn’t surprise me, actually. In fact, I’m surprised it’s not higher. I remember when the children were little, and didn’t sleep, and I was so desperate to get at least 6 hours a night (even if it was broken up), that sex was far down on my priority list. It didn’t mean we weren’t intimate; it’s just that I was far more attuned to my need for sleep than I was my need for sex.

But as I wrote in To Love, Honor and Vacuum, exhaustion isn’t just about lack of sleep; it’s also about lack of downtime to recharge our batteries. It’s feeling like you’re working all the time–which is mentally exhausting, even if you’re not physically exhausted. FULL POST

Posted 5/18/15 at 11:17 AM | Shaunti Feldhahn

When you’re seeing the negative in your spouse, avoid people who pile on – and spend time with encouragers instead

Christian Post Blog, Marriage Monday Tip Of The Day from Shaunti Feldhahn

May 18, 2015

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages.

Tip #54: When you’re seeing the negative in your spouse, avoid people who pile on – and spend time with encouragers instead

While I was in the middle of my research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages I ran across an old friend who was in a difficult place with her husband of 20 years. He was a great guy in many ways, but had become depressed and withdrawn following a series of job difficulties, costly mistakes, and a season of long hours with demanding clients. I could see the tears in my friend’s eyes as she recounted that he had also become irritable, unpleasant, and was now snapping at her for the littlest of things. FULL POST

Read more